Courthouse Ceremony then "Real" Wedding?

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

I'm wearing that dress and walking down an aisle damn it!

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Which do you want more... a "marriage" starting this September, or a "wedding" next September.

I think these two statements side by side are something to read and really think about.

Honestly when I worked for the Navy, this happened all the time, some people even went years before having "the big wedding."

If you love him, no matter what, then you have to decide what you want more. You can't have your cake and eat it too, especially if there's a good chunk of time between the two events.

[kddani]

Which do you want more... a "marriage" starting this September, or a "wedding" next September.

I think that's the perfect way to put it. Sometimes in life things don't turn out exactly how we dreamed, or we have to make choices that change those dreams.

Do you want a happy marriage that will last the rest of your life? Or is it more important to have one big day where you're the center of attention and get presents? And the wedding isn't just about the bride, its about BOTH people, and their families.

If you want to get married then have a reception to celebrate your vows, have your marriage blessed by a priest or whatever religious figure, etc. down the road, at least be honest about it. But whatever it is, it just is not the BWW that you want to have here. But the marriage is what counts, right?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by kddani

I think that's the perfect way to put it. Sometimes in life things don't turn out exactly how we dreamed, or we have to make choices that change those dreams.

This is a good point. I've dated military men before, and some of my friends (who were dating them back when I was dating my ex) did go on to get engaged to military men and plan big traditional weddings, only to find out that the military had other plans for them (deployment). Some of them had to scrap their wedding plans and get married in court within 2 weeks for the same reasons. Were they a little bummed out that they didn't get to have a big shindig? Yes. Are they still just as married as anyone else? Yes. That's really the important thing in the end, you're married, and you're happy.

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

And bear in mind - the kind of people who would be snarky about a blessing, or church wedding, or celebration after the smaller, legal ceremony are NOT those you would want there anyway. So your BWW might be smaller than you originally thought - but I'd rather have a smaller group who loved me than tons of people who are so small-minded that they would try to steal your joy.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This is a good point. I've dated military men before, and some of my friends (who were dating them back when I was dating my ex) did go on to get engaged to military men and plan big traditional weddings, only to find out that the military had other plans for them (deployment). Some of them had to scrap their wedding plans and get married in court within 2 weeks for the same reasons. Were they a little bummed out that they didn't get to have a big shindig? Yes. Are they still just as married as anyone else? Yes. That's really the important thing in the end, you're married, and you're happy.

Agreed. Thank you!