Advice for a fellow Sister (very long!)

[33girl]

To be quite frank, it sounds as though what you suffered in college was complete culture shock. The East Coast and West Coast are very different - plus it sounds like you were raised fairly upper middle class - and if you were a deb and got into a chapter that was filled with girls who DIDN'T have that kind of upbringing, it's going to be hard to fit in. Not to mention the fact that you were older than many of the sisters.

As far as the situation with the sister you moved in with, I'm guessing you don't mean into the house? It sounds as though you took what was an off-campus, out-of-house roommate situation and turned it into a sorority situation. This was not the best course of action and I can understand why other sisters may have been upset that you made it a sorority issue, rather than trying to work it out with your roommate on your own.

I would contact your sorority's national office and see if you can get in touch with an alumnae chapter. If there are several in your area, you may have the option of joining the one that suits you best.

Good luck.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would contact your sorority's national office and see if you can get in touch with an alumnae chapter. If there are several in your area, you may have the option of joining the one that suits you best.

Good luck.

You've been given very good advice above. I strongly suggest following it.

Something to think about:

Even without the sorority name, you've provided enough personal info for someone to figure out who you are. The internet is a very public place and not the best place for this sort of thing.

While some of the actions of your sisters were not the greatest, to "air" them out on a message board instead of in person/via email/etc is not the best thing to do. When you took your vows to your particular sorority, you ultimately agreed to respect those women (regardless of whether you like them), and part of that includes addressing your concerns with them appropriately--not in public on a message board.

While I love my chapter sisters dearly and see them very often, over the years since becoming alum I've grown closer with sisters who weren't from my area. My sisterhood circle got 10x bigger when I became an alum.

If you truly love your sorority, let go of the past and get involved with an alum chapter. It's likely these sisters don't know anything about your collegiate experience, so there's no need to bring in that baggage. You're no good to your sorority and your sorority is no good to you if you choose to continue to sit in that shit.

Like that old saying goes, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by OTW

While I love my chapter sisters dearly and see them very often, over the years since becoming alum I've grown closer with sisters who weren't from my area. My sisterhood circle got 10x bigger when I became an alum.

Same here. As far as I'm concerned, that's how it usually is when you're in national GLOs and are honoring a lifetime commitment. Especially if you relocate.

[AOII Angel]

It doesn't sound like you want advice as much as you want validation. Sorry your sisters didn't support you when you were depressed. Just remember that college girls aren't trained psychologists and may not know how to handle such information. If they were really as cruel to you as you make it sound, then forget your chapter and make a fresh start with more mature women in your alumnae chapter. I suspect, however, that your version of the story is tainted by a lot of hurt feelings. Maybe they didn't mean things the way you took them. Maybe you came off as someone who didn't want to participate. In the end, it's water under the bridge. If you keep harping forever about this experience, you'll miss out on opportunities to really experience lifelong sisterhood with ABC.