Legacy Dilemma

[taurus0426]

Yeah when I hear about NPHC organziations I usually hear about the grad chapters.

Do more people join after college now? Many of the NPHC members I have met are graduate members or members who joined in college years ago, I havent met any undergrad members.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Okay now how should she be assisting me then? I know there's a special legacy form out there. I'm a very dilgent student so that's not a problem but why is it that when it comes to D9 organzations a person must do tons of research...

When we say "research" we mean you walk into Rush knowing at minimum--and preferably the entire website of information with focus on the programs/initiatives Internationally, locally, at the undergraduate level and graduate level if that is what you have.

The answer to your follow question is below in response to Ladygreek's response:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Her mother hasn't been active since college. I doubt there is much she can do to assist her, since she would not know the current process. In fact, a mother's "help" can be to the detriment of the daughter...

Ladygreek, some of the comments are meant for EVERYONE...

That's the thing, a mother ought not be promoting her membership in her sorority if she is not active in an NPHC sorority... That is my personal opinion. Because WE ALL PROMOTE LIFELONG MEMBERSHIP...

In my opinion it is a detriment to the daughter when she has failed to teach her right... Like what to wear at Rush, appropriate and respectful behavior toward the members while on campus. How is one going to aspire to become a member and disrespect said members by refusal to attend ANY FREE on-campus functions?

No, I am not saying that a mother "help" her daughter get into said D4 sorority--that is helicopterish--she ought not have "guaranteed" her membership like that. If she wanted her daughter to pursue membership so bad, then how come her daughter never attended a grad chapter function, talk to the UGs while in high school, go to Regional Conferences and International Meetings? Hayle, these kids apply for our scholarships, but where's the payback?

It is gotten to the point where we have to KNOW these kids and their families before they "stroll" into our Sororities--before they get into college...

[taurus0426]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

When we say "research" we mean you walk into Rush knowing at minimum--and preferably the entire website of information with focus on the programs/initiatives Internationally, locally, at the undergraduate level and graduate level if that is what you have.

The answer to your follow question is below in response to Ladygreek's response:



Ladygreek, some of the comments are meant for EVERYONE...

That's the thing, a mother ought not be promoting her membership in her sorority if she is not active in an NPHC sorority... That is my personal opinion. Because WE ALL PROMOTE LIFELONG MEMBERSHIP...

In my opinion it is a detriment to the daughter when she has failed to teach her right... Like what to wear at Rush, appropriate and respectful behavior toward the members while on campus. How is one going to aspire to become a member and disrespect said members by refusal to attend ANY FREE on-campus functions?

No, I am not saying that a mother "help" her daughter get into said D4 sorority--that is helicopterish--she ought not have "guaranteed" her membership like that. If she wanted her daughter to pursue membership so bad, then how come her daughter never attended a grad chapter function, talk to the UGs while in high school, go to Regional Conferences and International Meetings? Hayle, these kids apply for our scholarships, but where's the payback?

It is gotten to the point where we have to KNOW these kids and their families before they "stroll" into our Sororities--before they get into college...

I have been to some of the regional events and participated in HS programs. I've also been to some grad functions as a guest of my program sponsor so I have some background. But what I dont get is why would my mother care where I joined? She hasnt been active in 30+ years yet I mention I might do some more research on the other 3 or *gasp* NPC she looks at me like I went nuts. I flat out asked her what she thought of me joining one of the NPCs and she said "why?" This goes for my friend and BF, their familes are flipping out at the thought of them not following in their footsteps when they joined at a different time period/different campus and the chapters on our campuses might not be good fits for us.

Question for legacies out there...was there ever any pressure to join by family members or was it just happenstance that it was a good fit for you too?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

But what I don't get is why would my mother care where I joined? She hasn't been active in 30+ years yet I mention I might do some more research on the other 3 or *gasp* NPC she looks at me like I went nuts.

This happens across the board, not just NPHC. Check out the Recruitment forum. You might think it doesn't matter to them anymore, but when your kidlets go off to college a lot of those things you experienced back then come back.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

I have been to some of the regional events and participated in HS programs. I've also been to some grad functions as a guest of my program sponsor so I have some background. But what I dont get is why would my mother care where I joined? She hasnt been active in 30+ years yet I mention I might do some more research on the other 3 or *gasp* NPC she looks at me like I went nuts. I flat out asked her what she thought of me joining one of the NPCs and she said "why?" This goes for my friend and BF, their familes are flipping out at the thought of them not following in their footsteps when they joined at a different time period/different campus and the chapters on our campuses might not be good fits for us.

Question for legacies out there...was there ever any pressure to join by family members or was it just happenstance that it was a good fit for you too?

Well, if you decide to rush an NPC, im sure "Why XYZ?" will come up. Wait, let me not assume.

NPCers, do you blatantly ask "Why do you want to be an XYZ?" during rush? or is that some rule infraction?

Originally Posted by tld221

NPCers, do you blatantly ask "Why do you want to be an XYZ?" during rush? or is that some rule infraction?

As far as I know asking that question does not break any rules and I have asked rushees that in the past, usually right before Pref Ceremony.

[taurus0426]

Originally Posted by tld221

Well, if you decide to rush an NPC, im sure "Why XYZ?" will come up. Wait, let me not assume.

NPCers, do you blatantly ask "Why do you want to be an XYZ?" during rush? or is that some rule infraction?

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

its not her decision. its yours.

and if you cant explain to your mom "why a white sorority" then you might have to work on that, because it wont be the first or last time youre asked that. hell, maybe your decision will encourage your mom to be active again, in some weird way.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

This might be true on the surface but if you dig deeper, you'll find that a lot of NPHC members and people interested in the NPHC orgs really just like the way we do things versus other councils. They really admire our missions, values, and awe-inspiring legacies. They are really impressed by the fact that we take our lifetime commitment very seriously and the commitment to our communities very seriously. We actually feel like it's our duty and responsibility to uplift and support the Black community and the greater community; it's not just a bunch of philanthropic activities we're doing. Many NPHC members have sat thru countless interviews with interested persons and the reasons that people want to join our orgs are based on a whole lot more than just because they are Black...and of course we know that not everyone is Black. So the reasons people are attracted to us are many.

I said all this to say that your mother's "why?" may actually go deeper than you think.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

If I was in your situation, here is what I would do:

Firstly, I would find out exactly what your mother believes about the NPHC organization she's a part of. I mean like...why does she think it is a worthwhile organization? When she says things like service, sisterhood, life long commitment, et cetera...relate those things to the NPC. Once she sees that you can still get a meaningful experience out of the NPC, I bet she'll come around.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Yeah when I hear about NPHC organziations I usually hear about the grad chapters.

Do more people join after college now? Many of the NPHC members I have met are graduate members or members who joined in college years ago, I havent met any undergrad members.

There has definitely been an increase in recent years of people joining the NPHC orgs after undergrad but I'm not sure if more people are joining after college vs. undergrad although this could be the case for some of the orgs.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

There has definitely been an increase in recent years of people joining the NPHC orgs after undergrad but I'm not sure if more people are joining after college vs. undergrad although this could be the case for some of the orgs.

I'm sure all of our nhqs have data on this. However, the demographic data that I have seen doesn't break the alumnae membership down into undergrad initiates who graduated as compared to alumnae initiates.

In the areas that I'm used to, you're more prone to run into graduate and alumnae intiated frat and sorority members, particularly people who couldn't make certain organizations at certain schools.