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You give one gift at the shower and one gift at the wedding.
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May we go back to this for a moment.
I was under the impression - perhaps wrongly, which is why I am asking - that you were only "obligated" to give one present to the couple (bride). You could elect to do so at a shower, prior to the wedding (say via a bridal registry for example), present the gift at the service or at the reception, or perhaps right after the wedding.
Is the concept of giving multiply gifts based on attendance or by invitation?
For example, how does it work if you were invited to a shower and to the wedding, but you were unable to attend the wedding. Are you obligated to give two gifts? What if you were able to attend the wedding but unable to attend the shower. Still two gifts?
Frankly, it seems rather crass and greedy to expect two separate gifts for the same reason - matrimony.
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