How NOT to be dismissed...

[als463]

Originally Posted by navane

"We" are trying to avoid being walked out or he is trying to avoid being walked out?

As others mentioned, you may be getting into too much detail about polos, stripes, pockets, etc....especially considering it's not you who is rushing. I might suggest that you allow him to work out a game plan and allow him to dress himself and be himself.

I totally get that you are excited for him and you really want him to get a bid. Understood. But, I don't know, I kinda cringe sometimes when I see a girl getting all up in her man's business like this. It sort of come across a little bit like when a girl goes overboard planning her wedding and she expects her fiance to sit down with her and work out which shade of blue, dark blue, cornflower blue or midnight blue would be best for the ribbons on the bridemaids' bouquets.

As you know, sorority rush and fraternity rush are different beasts - all of the super attention to detail that goes into an NPC rush (girls planning each round of outfits down to eyeshadow colors, accessory jewelry, and type of high heel) may not necessarily be what needs to be done for a fraternity rush.

Since your bf is an older guy with military service under his belt, I would expect that he's got himself together enough to know how to handle rush. If he doesn't, he might want to take ownership over his situation and come to GC himself and ask questions first hand.

.....Kelly

Good Point and I see what you are saying...the thing is that because I am Greek-it's pretty much assumed that I know more about recruitment than him. That's why I am helping him. As far as clothing goes-I don't mean to be too nit-picky but, after reading the "Biggest Rush Mistakes" and "Meanest thing you've ever done/ said to a rushee" I worry....I had no clue fraternities could be so blatantly mean to people they don't care for. Then again-my guy isn't some bragging jackass like some of these guys that have probably been dismissed.

It doesn't necessarily come down to what someone is wearing but, I had no clue wearing a shirt that said Holister with a big bird and some stripes on it would be bad...so, some of this is helpful. I just wanted to know what would not be appreciated by fraternity men. Does he hit up house to house or just go to houses he is interested in? Is it weird to want to join a fraternity because you enjoy what they do for the community and you really like their philanthropy? Is it weird to join for the "brotherhood" aspect? Not that these would be weird-but, if the guys ask (remember-he won't be an 18 year old freshman) should he tell them these things or will they think he has no personality and never wants to party?

When I went through recruitment-that was the thing I was looking at more than partying "philanthropy" and "sisterhood"....My sisters usually win some philanthropy award each year and my chapter is the chapter who raises the most for my org. of all the other collegiate chapters-thanks to Thon....so, I def. got my wish...

So, I guess the question is simply, "What should you do/ not do" in order to be a desirable rushee? It's not a matter of getting the best house-at 26 that is not the #1 reason you join...

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by als463

As far as clothing goes-I don't mean to be too nit-picky but, after reading the "Biggest Rush Mistakes" and "Meanest thing you've ever done/ said to a rushee" I worry....I had no clue fraternities could be so blatantly mean to people they don't care for. Then again-my guy isn't some bragging jackass like some of these guys that have probably been dismissed.

As someone who posted a pretty cruel method for dumping rushees in that thread, I should elaborate a bit on that.

I thought it was funny and appropriate back then, and I still feel that way today. But, for me at least, that was reserved for guys who showed up trashed to rush parties or drank a lot there and were risk management issues, or people who were so obnoxious that they had to be gotten rid of. If a lady we knew was at a rush party and complained about a rushee, then that meant it was time for him to leave that very second.

There is an old saying at Texas that probably applies to many southern schools- you are Greek or you are not. Take that any way you like, but what it means is that the Greeks are a very well known and defined population within a campus- and incoming freshman usually have a pretty good idea whether they might be interested or not.

When I was in college, we rarely had guys come to rush parties who were just totally clueless. Sometimes we did, but usually not.

So the guys we wanted to get rid of by walking them out- or sending them to other chapters and pretending they were a hot candidate over there- were guys who wanted to be there, but had not done a good job of preparing themselves for what was expected of them. And it goes even further than that for the ones we really messed with. Those were guys who were out of control with their drinking, disrespectful to women or who really put on a big attitude about themselves.

We all care about our chapters, the safety of our members and the reputation of our houses. A guy who comes to college and does not have the basic maturity to at least try and understand that needs to learn a lesson fast.

Point being, I am sorry if you got the impression from other threads that we are all a bunch of sadists who like to mess with people who are not cool/rich enough to be in our chapters. We aren't. But we damn sure enjoy messing with guys who put us at risk recklessly or show blatant disregard- and that is an attitude I have to this day in my business dealings, and it still works for me.

Your friend has a great ally in you. You are doing some good homework on his behalf and I can tell you that my chapter would always have respect for anyone who served their country. It is about the only way we would take in someone who was older than usual- and we have done it before, and it has worked out.

Anyhow, sorry for the long rant- but I wanted to clarify all that.

[als463]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

As someone who posted a pretty cruel method for dumping rushees in that thread, I should elaborate a bit on that.

I thought it was funny and appropriate back then, and I still feel that way today. But, for me at least, that was reserved for guys who showed up trashed to rush parties or drank a lot there and were risk management issues, or people who were so obnoxious that they had to be gotten rid of. If a lady we knew was at a rush party and complained about a rushee, then that meant it was time for him to leave that very second.

There is an old saying at Texas that probably applies to many southern schools- you are Greek or you are not. Take that any way you like, but what it means is that the Greeks are a very well known and defined population within a campus- and incoming freshman usually have a pretty good idea whether they might be interested or not.

When I was in college, we rarely had guys come to rush parties who were just totally clueless. Sometimes we did, but usually not.

So the guys we wanted to get rid of by walking them out- or sending them to other chapters and pretending they were a hot candidate over there- were guys who wanted to be there, but had not done a good job of preparing themselves for what was expected of them. And it goes even further than that for the ones we really messed with. Those were guys who were out of control with their drinking, disrespectful to women or who really put on a big attitude about themselves.

We all care about our chapters, the safety of our members and the reputation of our houses. A guy who comes to college and does not have the basic maturity to at least try and understand that needs to learn a lesson fast.

Point being, I am sorry if you got the impression from other threads that we are all a bunch of sadists who like to mess with people who are not cool/rich enough to be in our chapters. We aren't. But we damn sure enjoy messing with guys who put us at risk recklessly or show blatant disregard- and that is an attitude I have to this day in my business dealings, and it still works for me.

Your friend has a great ally in you. You are doing some good homework on his behalf and I can tell you that my chapter would always have respect for anyone who served their country. It is about the only way we would take in someone who was older than usual- and we have done it before, and it has worked out.

Anyhow, sorry for the long rant- but I wanted to clarify all that.

EE-BO, I'm sorry if it came off that I thought you were all a bunch of jerks-I didn't mean that at all. What I meant was that I would not want to send him to a house of guys that who look down on him because he was older or because he had transferred from somewhere else. Trust me when I say that he does not party too hard and is the farthest thing from a risk management issue...he likes to drink but, he doesn't feel the need to get smashed.

I guarantee that he is much like me where he would have no problem being "sober brother" (or whatever the guys call them) whenever asked. I was the same way-I can party and get sloppy drunk but, I would not do that at a sorority/ fraternity function because I would not want to make my organization look bad-so, I usually volunteered to be "sober sister" since I know how I get when I drink but, mainly because I was double majoring and in the military--so, I didn't always have time to party.

He does not brag about his military service or his high GPA but, he is proud of his accomplishments. I personally believe (of course, I am partial) that he would be a great asset to ANY fraternity, as he is not going to choose one fraternity over another because one has a more active social calendar. As I said before-it's about "brotherhood" (which I love that people express that all over Greekchat-another reason I love talking to people on here)...

Thank you for clarifying but, EE-BO...I never thought you were nasty or mean-so, you don't have to worry about that with me. You and the rest of the guys on here (and some of the ladies) have given me some great advice....The more he knows-the better off he will be. Even if you guys give us a list of things NOT to do (aside from get smashed and upset the girls at the party)....please feel free to throw it out there.