Titles

[lovehaiku84]

True. She probably wouldn't. I have done things like this in the past and looking back I know I just wanted validation that what I was doing/experiencing was "ok" even if I wasn't feeling 100% comfortable with it. When I decided that I wanted to move in with my boyfriend without us being engaged or married I just did it, because I was comfortable with what we had. I was not concerned with whether or not the next woman would have done the same.

@blakiceanjel - I don't get the desire to know stranger's opinions on what's going on in your personal life, but if you are happy then it's whatever.

[blakiceanjel]

Originally Posted by lovehaiku84

True. She probably wouldn't. I have done things like this in the past and looking back I know I just wanted validation that what I was doing/experiencing was "ok" even if I wasn't feeling 100% comfortable with it. When I decided that I wanted to move in with my boyfriend without us being engaged or married I just did it, because I was comfortable with what we had. I was not concerned with whether or not the next woman would have done the same.

@blakiceanjel - I don't get the desire to know stranger's opinions on what's going on in your personal life, but if you are happy then it's whatever.

Thanks.. this went in the wrong direction lol.. I did mean in general at first. I just figured I'd throw in some personal experience. And we're strangers so I didn't think it mattered lol... Maybe I should've left me out of it.

[Professor]

i think this is a chick question - - - - i'm not sure that men care what we are called as long as everyone knows that lady is with someone>

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Professor

i think this is a chick question - - - - i'm not sure that men care what we are called as long as everyone knows that lady is with someone>

chick = women and men = men?

Men also do wonder these types of things but may express it differently depending on who they are talking to. The question of title is really about wanting to be clear where the relationship stands (i.e. the lady is with someone) and what they should refer to each other as both in and out of each other's presence.

After a certain age the term "boyfriend" sounds wierd in certain settings so whatever words people choose to express exclusivity, the title is the same. Most people who are in exclusive, non-secret relationship would rather not have their significant other parading around saying "eh...that's my friend."

[tld221]

Originally Posted by blakiceanjel

LOL! omg

I know what you mean, I guess. So what does it take for you to know that you want to own her? lol

too easy huh?


i think titles are important. its only natural that we have to label and define what things are. i think if one (or both) party is unwilling to create the "girlfriend/boyfriend" label then they arent ready to.

i figure, if you spend a lot of time together, you call each other often enough (on breaks at work, in the AM/before bed, etc), you date consistently enough and socialize amongst each other's people, thats enough to have a title.

of course everyone's gonna have their exceptions to this, but in my head, thats what it looks like to me.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by tld221

too easy huh?

Yeah I didn't take it.

[Professor]

i guess - i just say this is constance - i don't say we have exclusive for ten years, that we are a couple, this is my girl - i just say this is constance - i will admit when she introduces me she says this is michael and puts her hand in my hand - this topic reminds me of women when they marry they stop saying the guys name and start saying this is my husband

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

chick = women and men = men?

Men also do wonder these types of things but may express it differently depending on who they are talking to. The question of title is really about wanting to be clear where the relationship stands (i.e. the lady is with someone) and what they should refer to each other as both in and out of each other's presence.

After a certain age the term "boyfriend" sounds wierd in certain settings so whatever words people choose to express exclusivity, the title is the same. Most people who are in exclusive, non-secret relationship would rather not have their significant other parading around saying "eh...that's my friend."

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Professor

i guess - i just say this is constance - i don't say we have exclusive for ten years, that we are a couple, this is my girl - i just say this is constance - i will admit when she introduces me she says this is michael and puts her hand in my hand - this topic reminds me of women when they marry they stop saying the guys name and start saying this is my husband

Okay, your personal story aside, can you understand the topic, though?

You've never been with "constance" and someone ask who she is to you? Like "oh, is this your wife, etc." If not, okay.

And when you aren't around "constance" and people are unfamiliar with who "constance" is, what do you say?

[Professor]

no - i don't say anything - i'm old baby so i don't normally get those questions - now i have known instances when a dude is trying to check her out so i may walk up to her put my arms around her - she then introduces me by name

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Okay, your personal story aside, can you understand the topic, though?

You've never been with "constance" and someone ask who she is to you? Like "oh, is this your wife, etc." If not, okay.

And when you aren't around "constance" and people are unfamiliar with who "constance" is, what do you say?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Professor

baby

eh.....

Anywho, I also know older people (40s and 50s) who discuss "titles," as well as get questions or comments in professional and casual settings that solidfy the desire to know "what we should call each other."