Between Sex, Finances and Communication, which one is it? What would it be for you?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

and again - I think we are answering 2 different questions. I am answering what I think causes the most divorces. You are answering what's the most important in a relationship. The 2 are not necessarily the same answer.

Maybe, or maybe it's tomato/tomahto. I agree the original question wasn't that clear, although she asked "what's most important to you."

But sorry, I'm not willing to give completely. I think that if the question is what causes the most divorces, while finances may be the answer most often given (I wonder, is it?), communication is still often (not always) just as much a reason as finances, if not a more fundamental one.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Maybe, or maybe it's tomato/tomahto. I agree the original question wasn't that clear, although she asked "what's most important to you."

But sorry, I'm not willing to give completely. I think that if the question is what causes the most divorces, while finances may be the answer most often given (I wonder, is it?), communication is still often (not always) just as much a reason as finances, if not a more fundamental one.

I guess I should have made it more clear. I was asking what do you think the most important component is to a happy and successful marriage. I was asking because I was just wondering why so many marriages end in divorce with finances being the number one cause of it. I know communication keeps coming up and I agree, it is very important. Now, is it possible to have great communication, but at the same time live check to check struggling to make ends meet? I think that would cause a serious problem.

[AGDee]

When they say finances, I don't think they necessarily mean that they are struggling to make ends meet. I think, more often, it's how they are making decisions about HOW they spend their money, not whether they have any money or not. For example, if there is always money for the big screen TV, the golf leagues (3 at one time) or the new car for the husband, but then, when the kids need clothes, the husband says "We can't afford it" or when the wife charges diapers because the cash was all spent on golf, and the hubby yells about the use of the charge cards, it's a problem, even if you make more than enough to support a family between the two of you. So, the problem is perceived to be finances but isn't the real issue communication?