Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06
I like honesty up front, that way I can choose whether I want to continue to be involved with that person. This is particularly true of the past lovers, family, and health issues. Finances don't need to be disclosed up front, but I feel entitled to know things that are potentially damaging to the relationship, such as "I have 3 kids", "I have HIV or some other STD", or "I have slept with a ton of other women."
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agreed.
Yea, if a guy told me he's slept with 50 different girls and had some kind of STD, that would absolutely make me reconsider a relationship with him and it would likely lead to the end of the relationship, but you know what? He'd be a selfish bastard if he DIDN'T disclose that up front.
Case in point:
This sounds like a crazy story, but I promise it's real. My older sister went to Las Vegas with 5 other friends as part of a bachelorette party for their friend "Lisa".
(this was about a month before the wedding)
"Lisa" & "Dan" had been engaged for about a year, and dating several years. She knew he had one previous marriage and one child with the ex-wife. She had never met the child or ex-wife because Dan kept telling her how "crazy" his ex wife was.
The time came (about a week after the Vegas trip) for her to finally meet Dan's daughter.
On the way to the ex-wife's house, Dan tells her something to the effect of "I know this is a really awkward time, but I need to tell you, I have another child from another woman that I haven't told you about"
WTF?
Lisa decides that she cannot process that information AND meet the first kid on the same day because it was too much, so they head home. She asks him to pack an overnight bag and spend a few days with one of his friends since they shared an apartment.
That night, a couple of the bridesmaids went to Lisa/Dan's apartment to comfort and be there for her since she was really surprised by the news. Lisa decides that she needs to find out if he's hiding anything else from her and starts going through his stuff.
In his stuff, she found the titles to TWO cars -- one Mustang convertible, and one Porche. She also found some receipts for storage facilities...where presumably the cars were being held. She recognized the second name on both titles as one of Dan's "business partners". (The name was a female name)
So she calls that female business partner of his, and GET THIS - it turns out Dan is MARRIED TO HER. She was a Chinese immigrant or something and he had a deal with her parents to marry her so she could get citizenship. That's were the cars came from Lisa learned.
Let's keep in mind this is three weeks from the day Lisa & Dan were supposed to be married.
So Lisa is freaking out. She comes from a well-off family and she's been sharing expenses/ giving money to Dan to help him get buy and this whole time he's got expensive cars and some Chinese couple paying him money to stay married to their daughter.
Needless to say, their wedding did not happen b/c he lied to her and was a selfish prick.
So basically, if you're lying because you know the truth could ruin your relationship, you are a selfish jerk for keeping up with the lie. It's going to sting a lot more the longer you lie.
The only acceptable thing to not be completely honest about is when a woman asks a man if an article of clothing makes her look fat. The answer to that question is always 'no'.
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