Spring Break Mistake?

[Matsimela]

Please excuse me if you think im trying to pass judegment. Thats not my intent. I've said like 2 or 3 times that everyone's intake is different so obviously no one person, including myself, is going to have the final answer. But i have continued to comment because there were people here, unlike gee_ess, who were calling both myself and my org out when i did not do that to them so...thats that

Back to the OP: I think that if you were considering any org than you hopefully have done your research about the org and see yourself as a good fit in said organization. Go with YOUR better judgement. If possible, ask people that you are close to who have been through recruitment for the org you are interested in if your tattoo is going to be a big deal. No one on the net can see it and therefore can only give you limited insight. Good luck in your pursuit.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by Matsimela

thats so sad that so many of you would actually deny someone a bid just because they have a tattoo.

This would be where you started to get into trouble. The point of previous quotes was not that anyone here would deny someone a bid just because they have a tattoo, but in a competitive SEC recruitment it would possibly be a negative. You passed judgment ("That's so sad . . " is a judgemental statement) and now want to plead that you are the poor picked upon victim. Of course you are going to be "called out" when you do that.
You really, REALLY are not in a position to help the op. You don't know anything about the type of recruitment she has chosen to go through, so can't give her advice. I wouldn't dream of advising anyone interested in your group as to how to go about having a successful experience, because I am not qualified to do so.

eta - We don't need to see the tattoo to know whether or not ANY tattoo would be problematic. And the people BEST able to comment are those SEC NPC members who have taken the time to post.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Matsimela

I dont know if you were talking about me but if you were, of course the answer is no. We take ladies that show a legitimate interest in our organization, live their life according to the morals set forth by our org, and will be a benefit to our sisterhood. c'mon now. just because we dont deny people for frivolous reasons (which is the point i've been trying to make by the way) doesnt mean we dont deny people at all. as im sure is true with most organizations, greek or not.

So you never ever ever denied someone membership because you just plain didn't like her - even if she fit all the above requirements?

Yep. That's what I thought.

[gee_ess]

Zeeplane - I think the activity on this thread just reinforces your mom (and even your) fears. Tattoos are controversial and can (like it or not) cause you to be judged in a way that might not seem fair. The first and most straightforward responses to your question were the best but the ensuing discussion regarding judging others based on appearances are the supporting arguments for the reasons you should cover up your tattoo.
Actually, if you were my daughter (and I have one your age at an SEC school) I would tell you to definitely cover it up for rush, then enjoy it during your college years, AND to save your money for laser removal later on. If you continue to live and work in the conservative south, then the tattoo is only going to be a potential liability.

[violetpretty]

I forgot to ask this...since you'll be a sophomore when you go through, do you have friends in any chapters? If you do, do those friends know you have a tattoo? If they know, ask them for their opinion if you should cover it.

We've already had one member of a Bama sorority say (summarized), "Yes cover it, but if they don't notice by bid day they probably won't care". That is probably true and solid advice.

[XiButterfly]

wow....reading this thread kinda makes me sad. I'm a pledge at UC Berkeley and I basically have a half sleeve of tattoos on one arm and a lip ring. I still received a bid because they saw me for who I am. I wish other chapters at other schools could do the same.

[FSUZeta]

that's uc-berkeley. it's different at bama. no need to pass judgement on either place.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

half sleeve of tattoos on one arm and a lip ring.

Would your chapter bid a woman with brands across her forehead, lip plates, and "cheetah print" tattood on her eyelids and cheeks, though?

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

wow....reading this thread kinda makes me sad. I'm a pledge at UC Berkeley and I basically have a half sleeve of tattoos on one arm and a lip ring. I still received a bid because they saw me for who I am. I wish other chapters at other schools could do the same.

So the "real you " is a tattoo and a lip ring?

Here's a shocker for all you sweet young things out there - you are judged by your appearance. Every time you meet someone for the first time, studies show you are sized up within seconds. That's human nature. Knowing that, however, you can alter your appearance to send different messages. That's what adults do. You look different for a job interview than you do when hanging around the house, and you'll alter your appearance to look different at a formal social event than when you are playing a sport. I hope the "real you" is something more than your mere appearance. But sometimes, your appearance is all people have initially. And it is foolish not to put your best foot forward in a situation when you are looking for something from someone - whether it is a bid, a job, approval from your in-laws, a loan, whatever.

So, wear that mohawk if you want - but spare us the bs about "they are judging me by my appearance!" when you don't get the job - or the bid.

[Hopeful_Bubbles]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Would your chapter bid a woman with brands across her forehead, lip plates, and "cheetah print" tattood on her eyelids and cheeks, though?

OWW!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Hopeful_Bubbles

OWW!

No pain no cheetah gain.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

This would be where you started to get into trouble. The point of previous quotes was not that anyone here would deny someone a bid just because they have a tattoo, but in a competitive SEC recruitment it would possibly be a negative. You passed judgment ("That's so sad . . " is a judgemental statement) and now want to plead that you are the poor picked upon victim. Of course you are going to be "called out" when you do that.
You really, REALLY are not in a position to help the op. You don't know anything about the type of recruitment she has chosen to go through, so can't give her advice. I wouldn't dream of advising anyone interested in your group as to how to go about having a successful experience, because I am not qualified to do so.

eta - We don't need to see the tattoo to know whether or not ANY tattoo would be problematic. And the people BEST able to comment are those SEC NPC members who have taken the time to post.

Even in a non-competitive school, tattoos can be an issue. It's not unreasonable, it depends. If I have a tattoo on my side or something, where it is not normally going to be seen that won't even know. If I have a large, very visible tattoo on my neck, that might be a problem. It CAN send the wrong message. Many work places would have a large problem with it...in a professional setting, it's an issue. At a very competitive school, where girls HAVE to be cut for sometimes shallow reasons, it's not unreasonable to expect that something like that would hurt.

Tattoos are permanent, and it's always such a HORRIBLE idea to get one on impulse. A good rule of thumb, in my opinion, is that if you're sitting in the tattoo parlor picking a design off of the wall, you are making a mistake. I plan on getting one that I've drawn myself, but I've spent a long time thinking about it and it will be in a place that will show only in a bathing suit. You have to realize what tattoos and piercings can do for you in a professional setting. In general, that is to say, nothing good.

[XiButterfly]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

that's uc-berkeley. it's different at bama. no need to pass judgement on either place.

Yeah I know but judgement still happens here its just not as intense. My mother is a Bama alum and I was raised in the state so I do understand the conservative south "ways." I'm just wishing it was different now.

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Would your chapter bid a woman with brands across her forehead, lip plates, and "cheetah print" tattood on her eyelids and cheeks, though?

I wouldn't know. No one like that has rushed our sorority before but I'm sure she'd be judged on her personality in my chapther much less than her looks.

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

So the "real you " is a tattoo and a lip ring?

Here's a shocker for all you sweet young things out there - you are judged by your appearance. Every time you meet someone for the first time, studies show you are sized up within seconds. That's human nature. Knowing that, however, you can alter your appearance to send different messages. That's what adults do. You look different for a job interview than you do when hanging around the house, and you'll alter your appearance to look different at a formal social event than when you are playing a sport. I hope the "real you" is something more than your mere appearance. But sometimes, your appearance is all people have initially. And it is foolish not to put your best foot forward in a situation when you are looking for something from someone - whether it is a bid, a job, approval from your in-laws, a loan, whatever.

So, wear that mohawk if you want - but spare us the bs about "they are judging me by my appearance!" when you don't get the job - or the bid.

Oh sweet belle....you should know something about me before you pass e-judgement. I realize that there is a time and place to take out my lip ring and cover my tattoos. I actually have a really well paying (around 15 a hour) hotel managing job that I do on the weekends as a part time job. I also just received an amazing intership at a hospital this summer. I do know that I have to present myself a certain way at times....but that doesn't stop me from being me (appearance wise)when I'm not at work. If you want to know the real me then I can tell you who I am. I'm a beautiful, strong woman who is confident and socially competent. Just because I chose to have a tattoo or a lip ring doesn't make me any less of a person and no my entire identity does not hinge on it. I merely like it. My tattoos are very pretty art pieces that were carefully planned and can be covered and piercings are removable. So I can be a successful woman as well as express myself.

Who said anything about a mohawk? I'm kinda bummed I can't really have purple streaks in my hair because of my job but that's life. You learn to live with it and bend it alittle.

My question to you is you seem so harsh and bitter on the subject.....why?

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

Yeah I know but judgment still happens here its just not as intense. My mother is a Bama alum and I was raised in the state so I do understand the conservative south "ways." I'm just wishing it was different now.



I wouldn't know. No one like that has rushed our sorority before but I'm sure she'd be judged on her personality in my chapther much less than her looks.



Oh sweet belle....you should know something about me before you pass e-judgement. I realize that there is a time and place to take out my lip ring and cover my tattoos. I actually have a really well paying (around 15 a hour) hotel managing job that I do on the weekends as a part time job. I also just received an amazing intership at a hospital this summer. I do know that I have to present myself a certain way at times....but that doesn't stop me from being me (appearance wise)when I'm not at work. If you want to know the real me then I can tell you who I am. I'm a beautiful, strong woman who is confident and socially competent. Just because I chose to have a tattoo or a lip ring doesn't make me any less of a person and no my entire identity does not hinge on it. I merely like it. My tattoos are very pretty art pieces that were carefully planned and can be covered and piercings are removable. So I can be a successful woman as well as express myself.

Who said anything about a mohawk? I'm kinda bummed I can't really have purple streaks in my hair because of my job but that's life. You learn to live with it and bend it alittle.

My question to you is you seem so harsh and bitter on the subject.....why?

First, not "sweet" - South West Texas.

Harsh? Naw - not even bitter. You were the one who said that this thread made you sad, because you had a tattoo and lip ring and were glad you got a bid because they saw the "real you" - and that's all you said. You've actually proven my point - I guess I should say "thank you". I didn't judge you by anything than what you've written - because that's all I had. So your misspellings and the fact you have a tattoo and a lip ring are all I've had to use to form an opinion. You didn't mention the aspects of your character you have now stated. So - my point? People can only judge you with the information they have. Over the internet - your postings. In a recruitment situation - your registration sheet, your recs, your appearance and conversations with sisters. You actually support my assertions again by saying you know when to cover up and remove your lip ring. How is that different than suggesting that in a SEC recruitment a pnm would be well-advised to do the same?
While the first sentence was directed to you, you'll notice that the second paragraph was very carefully directed to all 18 - 22 year olds who feel they should be able to dress however they wish with no repercussions. The mohawk was a hypothetical example of an extreme style that might not be appropriate in certain situations.
I taught AP English and was a senior homeroom teacher at a private school for years, so I've heard lots of whining about having to wear a uniform or have your hair a certain way. I've always maintained that the important part of you - the part that should really be individualistic - is the part we can't see. I always got a chuckle out of the non-conformists who all . . . dressed alike.
So back to the op - cover up the tattoo so they see YOU and not your tattoo.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

I wouldn't know. No one like that has rushed our sorority before but I'm sure she'd be judged on her personality in my chapther much less than her looks.

You're not "sure" because you "wouldn't know."