Spring Break Mistake?

[XiButterfly]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

that's uc-berkeley. it's different at bama. no need to pass judgement on either place.

Yeah I know but judgement still happens here its just not as intense. My mother is a Bama alum and I was raised in the state so I do understand the conservative south "ways." I'm just wishing it was different now.

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Would your chapter bid a woman with brands across her forehead, lip plates, and "cheetah print" tattood on her eyelids and cheeks, though?

I wouldn't know. No one like that has rushed our sorority before but I'm sure she'd be judged on her personality in my chapther much less than her looks.

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

So the "real you " is a tattoo and a lip ring?

Here's a shocker for all you sweet young things out there - you are judged by your appearance. Every time you meet someone for the first time, studies show you are sized up within seconds. That's human nature. Knowing that, however, you can alter your appearance to send different messages. That's what adults do. You look different for a job interview than you do when hanging around the house, and you'll alter your appearance to look different at a formal social event than when you are playing a sport. I hope the "real you" is something more than your mere appearance. But sometimes, your appearance is all people have initially. And it is foolish not to put your best foot forward in a situation when you are looking for something from someone - whether it is a bid, a job, approval from your in-laws, a loan, whatever.

So, wear that mohawk if you want - but spare us the bs about "they are judging me by my appearance!" when you don't get the job - or the bid.

Oh sweet belle....you should know something about me before you pass e-judgement. I realize that there is a time and place to take out my lip ring and cover my tattoos. I actually have a really well paying (around 15 a hour) hotel managing job that I do on the weekends as a part time job. I also just received an amazing intership at a hospital this summer. I do know that I have to present myself a certain way at times....but that doesn't stop me from being me (appearance wise)when I'm not at work. If you want to know the real me then I can tell you who I am. I'm a beautiful, strong woman who is confident and socially competent. Just because I chose to have a tattoo or a lip ring doesn't make me any less of a person and no my entire identity does not hinge on it. I merely like it. My tattoos are very pretty art pieces that were carefully planned and can be covered and piercings are removable. So I can be a successful woman as well as express myself.

Who said anything about a mohawk? I'm kinda bummed I can't really have purple streaks in my hair because of my job but that's life. You learn to live with it and bend it alittle.

My question to you is you seem so harsh and bitter on the subject.....why?

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

Yeah I know but judgment still happens here its just not as intense. My mother is a Bama alum and I was raised in the state so I do understand the conservative south "ways." I'm just wishing it was different now.



I wouldn't know. No one like that has rushed our sorority before but I'm sure she'd be judged on her personality in my chapther much less than her looks.



Oh sweet belle....you should know something about me before you pass e-judgement. I realize that there is a time and place to take out my lip ring and cover my tattoos. I actually have a really well paying (around 15 a hour) hotel managing job that I do on the weekends as a part time job. I also just received an amazing intership at a hospital this summer. I do know that I have to present myself a certain way at times....but that doesn't stop me from being me (appearance wise)when I'm not at work. If you want to know the real me then I can tell you who I am. I'm a beautiful, strong woman who is confident and socially competent. Just because I chose to have a tattoo or a lip ring doesn't make me any less of a person and no my entire identity does not hinge on it. I merely like it. My tattoos are very pretty art pieces that were carefully planned and can be covered and piercings are removable. So I can be a successful woman as well as express myself.

Who said anything about a mohawk? I'm kinda bummed I can't really have purple streaks in my hair because of my job but that's life. You learn to live with it and bend it alittle.

My question to you is you seem so harsh and bitter on the subject.....why?

First, not "sweet" - South West Texas.

Harsh? Naw - not even bitter. You were the one who said that this thread made you sad, because you had a tattoo and lip ring and were glad you got a bid because they saw the "real you" - and that's all you said. You've actually proven my point - I guess I should say "thank you". I didn't judge you by anything than what you've written - because that's all I had. So your misspellings and the fact you have a tattoo and a lip ring are all I've had to use to form an opinion. You didn't mention the aspects of your character you have now stated. So - my point? People can only judge you with the information they have. Over the internet - your postings. In a recruitment situation - your registration sheet, your recs, your appearance and conversations with sisters. You actually support my assertions again by saying you know when to cover up and remove your lip ring. How is that different than suggesting that in a SEC recruitment a pnm would be well-advised to do the same?
While the first sentence was directed to you, you'll notice that the second paragraph was very carefully directed to all 18 - 22 year olds who feel they should be able to dress however they wish with no repercussions. The mohawk was a hypothetical example of an extreme style that might not be appropriate in certain situations.
I taught AP English and was a senior homeroom teacher at a private school for years, so I've heard lots of whining about having to wear a uniform or have your hair a certain way. I've always maintained that the important part of you - the part that should really be individualistic - is the part we can't see. I always got a chuckle out of the non-conformists who all . . . dressed alike.
So back to the op - cover up the tattoo so they see YOU and not your tattoo.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

First, not "sweet" - South West Texas.

I am guilty of reading your name as "Sweet Texas Belle" at times, and then I remind myself what it actually says...

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

I wouldn't know. No one like that has rushed our sorority before but I'm sure she'd be judged on her personality in my chapther much less than her looks.

You're not "sure" because you "wouldn't know."

[XiButterfly]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

You're not "sure" because you "wouldn't know."

hahah yeah but I personally wouldn't have a problem and I know most of my sisters wouldn't as well.

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

First, not "sweet" - South West Texas.

Harsh? Naw - not even bitter. You were the one who said that this thread made you sad, because you had a tattoo and lip ring and were glad you got a bid because they saw the "real you" - and that's all you said. You've actually proven my point - I guess I should say "thank you". I didn't judge you by anything than what you've written - because that's all I had. So your misspellings and the fact you have a tattoo and a lip ring are all I've had to use to form an opinion. You didn't mention the aspects of your character you have now stated. So - my point? People can only judge you with the information they have. Over the internet - your postings. In a recruitment situation - your registration sheet, your recs, your appearance and conversations with sisters. You actually support my assertions again by saying you know when to cover up and remove your lip ring. How is that different than suggesting that in a SEC recruitment a pnm would be well-advised to do the same?
While the first sentence was directed to you, you'll notice that the second paragraph was very carefully directed to all 18 - 22 year olds who feel they should be able to dress however they wish with no repercussions. The mohawk was a hypothetical example of an extreme style that might not be appropriate in certain situations.
I taught AP English and was a senior homeroom teacher at a private school for years, so I've heard lots of whining about having to wear a uniform or have your hair a certain way. I've always maintained that the important part of you - the part that should really be individualistic - is the part we can't see. I always got a chuckle out of the non-conformists who all . . . dressed alike.
So back to the op - cover up the tattoo so they see YOU and not your tattoo.

The point I'm trying to make is yes I see your point about appearence and how we're judged in the real world and I share it when it comes to work or anything that's professionally related. If you're paying me, then I can follow a "guideline" or whatever.

However, joining a sorority for me was a different matter. If they didn't accept me for who I was appearance at all then that's not a group I wanted to be a part of to tell you the truth. I'm lucky my future sisters didn't judge me on my appearence and I feel very safe and comfortable with them. Is that what a real sisterhood should be anyways?

Threadstarter....do what you feel is comfortable to you. Yes, Bama is very conservative and unfournately you may be judged. Do whatever is right by you because ultimately you don't want to be a part of a group that you have to hide a part of yourself from, right?

[SWTXBelle]

Hmmm ... the thread is called "Spring Break Mistake", so I've got to think that the op has had some second thoughts about the tattoo. One of the fastest growing sidelines for dermatologists is tattoo removal - both my brother and my sister have tattooes they'd like have removed. Literally thousands of people every year decide that their tattooes aren't a good idea. As an aside, I've never heard anyone say "Damn! I wish had gotten that tattoo! What was I thinking?"
So maybe, just maybe, it's possible to have a tattoo that isn't really representative of "the real you". In that case, showing the tattoo would be preventing others from seeing you for who you are - which should be more than a design inked onto your skin. I'm willing to be that your appearance was something that registered with your sisters - and they approved. Much depends on the campus culture.
When you have to cut hundreds of girls, you are going to have rely on some superficial things - be it tattooes, g.p.a. ,(Can you be a good sister with a g.p.a. .1 less than the cut-off? Yes.) activities, etc. I don't like certain aspects of formal recruitment, but it works for many women. I am not even suggesting that my daughter go through formal recruitment because she is temperamentally unsuited for it. I do hope, however, that she will go through informal, where you often have a better chance to show the "real you" in a less frenetic setting.

And that eyelid thing - ow! ow! ow!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by XiButterfly

hahah yeah but I personally wouldn't have a problem and I know most of my sisters wouldn't as well.

You don't know. You're responding idealistically to make a point.