Discouraging Someone From Rushing

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by RedRover

I sincerely believe that she wants to spare the young man any pain that might arise.

You've said this several times. Most seem to feel she should give him insight, tips and encouragement (tinged with constructive reality), but let him make his own decisions and experience rush if he wants to. You continue to stress that she wants to keep him from rushing completely to avoid any pain at all costs. So you don't really seem interested in the feedback here and she doesn't even know (I presume) you came here asking for it. So this is accomplishing exactly... what?

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

You've said this several times. Most seem to feel she should give him insight, tips and encouragement (tinged with constructive reality), but let him make his own decisions and experience rush if he wants to. You continue to stress that she wants to keep him from rushing completely to avoid any pain at all costs. So you don't really seem interested in the feedback here and she doesn't even know (I presume) you came here asking for it. So this is accomplishing exactly... what?

I agree whole-heartedly. If she really has his best interests at heart, she will NOT try to discourage him from trying something that may actually be good for him. If she is really as caring and helpful as the OP says, she should USE HER KNOWLEDGE of the Greek system and HELP HIM.

I realize that people get released from the rush process everyday and yea, the feeling will likely suck if it does, but if she isn't even going to let him try, he could be missing out on something that may actually improve his life.

[SWTXBelle]

And how can you tell someone "You are a loser who won't get a bid" without THAT being painful? No matter how she phrases it, that's what he will hear.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

You've said this several times. Most seem to feel she should give him insight, tips and encouragement (tinged with constructive reality), but let him make his own decisions and experience rush if he wants to. You continue to stress that she wants to keep him from rushing completely to avoid any pain at all costs. So you don't really seem interested in the feedback here and she doesn't even know (I presume) you came here asking for it. So this is accomplishing exactly... what?

exactly. everyone(besides me) has given the same advice-let him make his own decision, and be there to cheer him on or for support if he is unsuccessful in obtaining a bid.

i said perhaps if the young man waited a year, got his college act together(got some college credits under his belt, saw how the guys on campus dress,made friends in the dorm and in the fraternities, he might have more success, if he truly is as unfortunate as the future sil thinks.

no one has endorsed that the future sil tell him not to rush,ever, but that seems to be what you wanted to hear. i agree that this would just crush the young man, no matter what the sil's intentions are. does she want the whole bunch of in-laws mad at her even before the wedding takes place?