How to help PNMs who don't get first choice?

[adpiucf]

I really think it is an issue that the new member needs to learn to handle on her own. It may be disappointing to not receive your first choice bid. However, at the risk of sounding cynical: that's life. The sooner you figure out you're not always going to get 100% of what you want when you want it, the better.

If anything, Panhellenic should address this issue with the Recruitment Counselors. After pref card signing, or possibly even before, the counselors should sit down with their PNM's and discuss best and worst-case scenarios, offer support and prepare the women for the possibility that they may or may not receive their top choice. And to also remember that while it is their prerogative to accept their bid or not, that the chapter who has accepted her is very excited to welcome her as a sister. And if she is going to come to their home on Bid Day, she can either be a happy and willing guest, or she should just go home. Bid Day is a celebration. If the worst thing that has happened to you in 18 years is to get rejected from your top choice sorority (after 3-4 20 minute meetings with the members over a week-long period), you're actually in better shape than 99% of the rest of the world population.

I'm cynical, yes. But these girls need to grow up sometime. I remember how emotional recruitment was when I was participating as a collegian. But big picture: You haven't committed social suicide by getting a bid to ABC instead of XYZ, and you're being given the opportunity to become part of an exclusive organization that will give you amazing opportunities and experiences.