Pregnant and in a sorority

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Were these women in NPC sororities at a very Greek Southern school?

None are NPC. They were NALFO, NPHC, and local.

One was at a very Greek school (SMU). The others were at much less competitive schools. From what I've read on here, it looks like the Southern Greek school have minds of their own, but I think it's strange that a pregnancy would cause THAT much of a problem.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I think it's strange that a pregnancy would cause THAT much of a problem.

NPCs are a completely different animal from NPHCs & NALFO groups. NPCs at BIG SOUTHERN SCHOOLS are even more different.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

NPCs are a completely different animal from NPHCs & NALFO groups. NPCs at BIG SOUTHERN SCHOOLS are even more different.

I thought that the differences were mostly with rush/recruitment. I had no idea it extended into active membership as well. Oh well, you learn something new every day.

Just out of curiousity, what kind of problems could arise from an active sister's pregnancy (aside from rumors/image problems)? I'm just trying to gain a better understanding on why this is such a big deal.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Just out of curiousity, what kind of problems could arise from an active sister's pregnancy (aside from rumors/image problems)? I'm just trying to gain a better understanding on why this is such a big deal.

It's not so much problems for the sorority itself as it is problems for the member.

Most sorority members are traditional college students (18-23ish). She might feel alienated because she isn't like most of the girls in the chapter. She might feel badly because she can't participate in some of the activities (i.e. I doubt a pregnant woman would want to come to a CEOs & Secretaries date party).

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It's not so much problems for the sorority itself as it is problems for the member.

Most sorority members are traditional college students (18-23ish). She might feel alienated because she isn't like most of the girls in the chapter. She might feel badly because she can't participate in some of the activities (i.e. I doubt a pregnant woman would want to come to a CEOs & Secretaries date party).

Thanks for that. What about with non-social activities (service, programming, etc)?

[SWTXBelle]

My beef with those who would get upset about a pregnancy is that unless they are pure as the driven snow they would be the world's greatest hypocrites to criticize a sister who became pregnant. Unless you are going to punish ALL the members who EVER have sex, it should not be a moral issue.
It sounds like the op is in a committed relationship, as opposed to someone sleeping with everything in fraternity letters. I am opposed to the idea that a sister who snuck off to an abortionist would get off scot free, while a responsible sister who is trying to deal with a difficult situation in a mature and loving way might be punished.

- end of rant. I'm sorry - the older I get, the more I think that we need to be more loving, more understanding and more compassionate when dealing with each other.

[barnard1897]

It's the whole "sorority public image" thing. We can't get around the hypocrisy. Like when most of us drank in college but god forbid--when the photo op came at a party and we were in letters or had some identifying jewelry on--beer cups flew out of sight ASAP.

My Theta roommate had stories about a "standards chair" from her chapter who would follow sisters around at parties, and if someone was dancing provocatively or had too short of a skirt on, she'd hiss "TNT" (That's Not Theta) at them and make them go home. That same girl was the one who'd go home and sleep with random guys and she'd also smoke down in the library cafeteria while wearing her letters (back in the days when smoking in public areas wasn't totally banned everywhere).

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I thought that the differences were mostly with rush/recruitment. I had no idea it extended into active membership as well. Oh well, you learn something new every day.

Just out of curiousity, what kind of problems could arise from an active sister's pregnancy (aside from rumors/image problems)? I'm just trying to gain a better understanding on why this is such a big deal.

Worst case scenario?

Suzy Sister announces to ABC that she's pregnant. Various reactions from Yeah! to OMG You Slut! Word gets out to other chapters, the fraternities and the general school population. Again, various reactions. Next formal recruitment impresionable freshman hear about the Pregnant ABC. "OMG really? They must all be tramps!" "Yeah, I'ver heard you have to do all sorts of things that even a coked out Lindsay Lohan wouldn't do!" "Wow, they seemed so nice but I would never pledge them." ABC doesn't meet quota and strugle with COB due to rumors. The next year not only are they Slutty ABC but they're not "top tier" and they're "fat". Because pregnant girls are "fat" right? They continue to struggle with numbers for several years and their HQ does everything they can and even tries a recolonization but it's no good. All because some gossip mongers couldn't keep their mouth shut!

My chapter had a girl who got pregnant the summer after I graduated. She stayed in school until she gave birth and then moved in with her parents and transfered schools. Since I already graduated I don't know the full extent of how the chapter was effected but I know that the above mentioned worst case scenario did not occur. I will tell you that some of the more powerful advisors had some very conservative views about the whole thing though.

My advice to the OP is to get an idea of what you want to do before telling the chapter. Like whether or not you'll be attending the same school after the baby is born. Whether or not you'll want to even be an active sister. If I was in the same situation I'd want to take alum status if it was an option but to each their own.

Most of the time if a chapter has a negative reaction to this type of news it's because they're very concerned with their campus rep. Either they want to maintain a good one or are trying to build up a good rep.

[carnation]

One of my daughters' sisters got pregnant her first year at a big Southern university. This very large group was excited for her and threw her a shower!