My situation is complicated. I need some input.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Look closely at the people who are telling you these "rumors" -- do they REALLY have your best interests at heart or are they keeping shit going?

My friends know to "don't bring me bad news" -- YOUR friends need to learn how to diffuse any trash talking they hear about you without bringing it to you, as it is clearly making you more miserable than if you didn't know, or if it had been handled.

This is so true, not just in this situation but in a lot of things. The "I'm telling you this is going on because I'm your true friend" is a bunch of bull 99.99999% of the time - it's just someone who wants to feel like they have the upper hand on everyone. They are thinking of themselves, not you.

[Still BLUTANG]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This is so true, not just in this situation but in a lot of things. The "I'm telling you this is going on because I'm your true friend" is a bunch of bull 99.99999% of the time - it's just someone who wants to feel like they have the upper hand on everyone. They are thinking of themselves, not you.

i disagree. i would be PISSED if there was trash talk behind my back and my friends knew about it but said nothing to me. I also expect them to defend me or at least diffuse the rumor, because i'd do the same for them. i might come out looking like an ass for it, but i don't want to be counted among those who knew but said nothing.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

i disagree. i would be PISSED if there was trash talk behind my back and my friends knew about it but said nothing to me. I also expect them to defend me or at least diffuse the rumor, because i'd do the same for them. i might come out looking like an ass for it, but i don't want to be counted among those who knew but said nothing.

There's a difference between a very good friend who says "Jeff keeps saying shit behind your back, be careful what you tell him" who you know read Jeff the riot act, and one who comes to you practically salivating because they have some more "drama" of trash talk to share with you - and you're pretty sure they just sat there and said nothing when Jeff started yapping. I'm talking about #2.

In the OP's case, I'm guessing the "close friends" he told are #2 or this news wouldn't have circulated back to his brothers in the first place.

[Kevin]

My chapter is composed of a lot of conservative guys -- many are very religious, many are from small towns, many are (insert stereotype here). Recently, one of our actives came out to the chapter in meeting.

I'm told that there was 100% support for this individual. No one is talking any kind of trash, things went better than he ever expected.

I disagree with all of these people saying that you need to talk to advisers and things of that nature to be able to chart what sort of support you'd have. Respectfully, that's a bunch of crap.

Just make an announcement in the middle of meeting. If they can't deal with it, tough. I don't think you should expect anything other than 100% support from your brothers.

[Tom Earp]

There is a book, soft cover out that talks about Gays and how they came out or not.

Sent it to a LXA Brother who sent it to me!

I was not ready for gays or blacks, but, I learned to get over it when I got to know and meet them.

Many times, they work harder and are not appreciated nearly as much.