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Read the constitution and bylaws of your fraternity and chapter from cover to cover. Read your student handbook. You will most likely find that they can't force you to disaffiliate. But read it for yourself.
Look closely at the people who are telling you these "rumors" -- do they REALLY have your best interests at heart or are they keeping shit going?
My friends know to "don't bring me bad news" -- YOUR friends need to learn how to diffuse any trash talking they hear about you without bringing it to you, as it is clearly making you more miserable than if you didn't know, or if it had been handled.
I mean really, that's so high school and it irritates me. One of my sponsors (person who guided me through intake) is the same way and it really hurt our relationship. Messy, messy brother.
Most importantly, you don't have to be tired of living a lie -- live YOUR truth. Your real friends and true brothers will have your back. And I bet you that if some aren't already gay and you just don't know it, then you will have some supportive alumni who have walked in your shoes.
Good luck!
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