OMG you have all stolen some of my faves.
Favorite sketches:
1. Dana Carvey - Massive Headwound Harry
2. Alec Baldwin, Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon - Schweaty Balls
"My mouth's watering just think about those balls."
"It's been years since I've seen any balls"
"Would you like to see my balls now"
"You have some beautiful balls"
"They're bigger than I expected"
"That's why I make sure that each of my balls gets plenty of oil"
"No one can resist my Schweaty Balls"
3. Rachel Dretch as Debbie Downer at Disneyland (feat. Lindsey Lohan)
4. Gay Sclitz Beer commercial - Adam Sandler, Chris Farley
5. Mary Katherine Gallagher - Molly Shannon - with guest star Gwenyth Paltrow
"Well, my feelings would be best expressed in a monologue, from the made-for-TV movie "Long Island Lolita: The Amy Fisher Story". And in this monologue, I will be playing the victimized, yet resilient, Mary Jo Buttafuaco. [ poises herself ] "You think that I'm afraid of you, little Amy Fisher? Is that what you think? Huh? Huh? You think I'm just like a little housewife or something, is that what you think? Huh? Huh? Well, you take a good, long look, 'cause you just stepped into
Hell, baby! I dare you to step onto this porch again, because if you do, I'll kick your little slutty ass across this town, you
whore! Go ahead, shoot me in the head again, I dare you!
I dare you! 'Cause if I spot your fat little pink face on my property again, I swear to God I'll take my two bare hands and I'll kill ya'!
I'll kill ya'! I'll kill ya'! I'll kill ya'!
6. Tim Meadows as The Ladies Man
Leon Phelps: Hello? Alright, then, I'm going to take a sip off this Courvoisier, 'cause it's getting chilly in here. [ sips Courvoisier ] Alright, then, next caller, go ahead. This is The Ladies Man.
Caller #3: Hello, Ladies Man.
Leon Phelps: Hey, it's a lady! How you feeling tonight, lady?
Caller #3: Well, not so good. I'm having some problems with my
self-esteem
Leon Phelps: Your self-esteem. Yeah. Now, what is that?
Caller #3: Well.. I don't feel good about myself.
Leon Phelps: Oh no, now, that's not good. Uh, why do you feel that way?
Caller #3: Well, I have a bit of a weight problem, and it's hard, you know, to
meet guys.
Leon Phelps: Yeah, yeah, well, The Ladies Man is here to help you. Um.. so tell me, uh, how fat are you?
Caller #3: I'm like, 210.
Leon Phelps: Now, that is big. Um, I was not expecting you to say anything over 200 pounds. Uh, I was basically expecting, like, 130, 135.. yeah, you are a big woman. Um, my advice to you is to, uh, avoid any type of food product that your neighborhood supermarket might try to sell you. [tips glass] But here's to you,
Fat Lady. The Ladies Man loves you, but not in any type of sexual, or love-type way. [laughing] I see my stage manager Martell finds the plight of that last call amusing.
Hybrid Mode
