Favorite SNL Quotes

[NutBrnHair]

[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]

Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?

Woman: What?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?

Woman: Who is it?

Voice: [pause] Flowers.

Woman: Flowers for whom?

Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.

Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?

Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark, and you know it.

Voice: I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.

Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]

[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]

[NutBrnHair]

Matt Foley: You kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail and wrap it around pull it down and put it in my pocket!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to JACK SQUAT!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river!

[honeychile]

Remember the one where Gilda Radner's wearing a Girl Scout uniform and pretending to be on her own tv show - The Judy Show? I recently saw that she broke a few ribs during the dress rehearsal, but still went on that night

Frankly, I loved everything with Gilda! Even the night she died, seeing her exhusband with a black armband was soooo touching. RIP, Gilda.