Which sorority was your Rho Chi in?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Mind you, I despise formal rush as it's done on most campuses, too. It reminds me of arranged marriages, with PanHel standing in for parents. I think it leads to the type of membership selection that is stereotyped and leads to selection based on looks or clothes rather than souls and minds.

I will agree that the release figure method (RFM, which is what I am assuming is what you despise) can and often does encourage shallow membership selection, particularly with "popular" chapters. If Popular Pi has to cut half of the PNMs after the first round, often, the ones invited back will be pretty, and they may or may not be compatible with the sisters personality-wise. Face it, it's hard to know whether a PNM will fit after meeting her for 15 minutes (or conversely, to be sure enough that she won't fit to place her in half to be cut).

However, Popular Pi does have a choice as to what kind of PNMs they want to invite back. No one forces them to invite gorgeous blondes with tons of money. If they want to have a pledge class that fits their "souls and minds", their members can direct conversation with PNMs in the direction to determine if there is a match. If Popular Pis want to talk about celebrity gossip, what their fathers do for a living, and designer labels with PNMs, that is their prerogative and they'll get what they are looking for. Likewise, if a PNM wants a chapter compatible with her soul and mind, she can steer conversation too.

The RFM is designed to place as many PNMs as possible, which is what I am assuming you mean by "arranged marriages with PanHel playing the part of the parents." Having Popular Pi cut more PNMs after the first round means that more PNMs will return to Small Sigma for the second round. I see what you mean with your analogy, but as a former Rho Gamma, I would never encourage/force/trick a PNM into putting any chapter on her bid card that she would not accept a bid from.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I don't think it's important to make young women believe any sorority is better than no sorority.

I know that not all chapters are equivalent. I know that not every PNM could fit into every chapter. I had a PNM in my group who, after attending her three preference parties, told me that she was dropping out. I was totally fine with that. However, if I had a PNM who wanted to drop out after seeing her invites (ie. anytime before pref parties are over), I would try to convince her to stick it out in case her mind changes (there is nothing to lose by attending the next round), but I'd respect her choice whatever she decided.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I believe young women who are attending college are capable of making up their own minds. I don't think they need to be spoon-fed; if they make a wrong decision, it's part of the learning experience. We all make wrong decisions in our lives. We learn; we move on.

You're absolutely right, young women ARE capable of making up their own minds. A Rho Gamma's job (and PHA's job) is not to make PNMs' decisions for them, but to encourage them to get more information (i.e. don't drop out early) before making a decision, and to make sure they understand the consequences of their decision. I am so glad that my Rho Gamma "spoon fed" me in encouraging me to attend preference after being crushed for being cut from a chapter that I wouldn't have fit in anyway. At some schools, if a PNM does something stupid, she may have seriously damaged her chances to go Greek, if that's what she still wants. What is wrong with some counsel? What's wrong with having someone to answer your questions? Also, some PNMs treat recruitment like a crisis, and there need to be people to handle that. Rho Gammas are also vital in large recruitments if for nothing other than administrative purposes.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I don't believe in hiding affiliation.

I had a PNM in my group tell me that she was torn between my chapter and another chapter. Do you think she would have felt comfortable telling me that if she knew my affiliation?

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I will agree that the release figure method (RFM, which is what I am assuming is what you despise) can and often does encourage shallow membership selection, particularly with "popular" chapters.

IMO, all the more reason to prohibit rush until Spring semester, when the rushee has had a chance to see the chapters in action (classes, homecoming, football, extracurricular activities) and meet many of the sisters. By then she has a much better idea of which houses are closest in general culture to her temperament, and can choose which to attend.

A Rho Gamma's job (and PHA's job) is not to make PNMs' decisions for them, but to encourage them to get more information (i.e. don't drop out early) before making a decision, and to make sure they understand the consequences of their decision.

Why shouldn't she drop out early? There's next year if she changes her mind, and if she regrets the decision, well, it was her decision.

I am so glad that my Rho Gamma "spoon fed" me in encouraging me to attend preference after being crushed for being cut from a chapter that I wouldn't have fit in anyway.

We differ there. I've always hated being spoon fed.

At some schools, if a PNM does something stupid, she may have seriously damaged her chances to go Greek, if that's what she still wants.

As I said, we all live with bad decisions. It's her decision.

Rho Gammas are also vital in large recruitments if for nothing other than administrative purposes.

Administration is different. Nor should a woman have to hide her affiliation to help with administration.

I had a PNM in my group tell me that she was torn between my chapter and another chapter. Do you think she would have felt comfortable telling me that if she knew my affiliation?

No. I would have expected her to find someone from another chapter to speak with. There is more than one woman in this role, is there not?

And if there is only one, well, someone on one of the recruitment threads likened rush to job interviews. To me, that's yet another reason not to hide affiliation. You don't always get to talk to the person you want to; sometimes you have to talk to the person in the role.

I understand Panhellenic's interest is to have as many women as possible in each chapter. They want to ensure economic viability for a chapter, and garner as much in dues as possible. They believe each chapter should be equally strong. I disagree.

I also think deferred rush with no hiding affiliations is better at doing away with perceptions of "more popular" houses. Once a woman has had a chance to see the houses and how its sisters relate, she will select the one right for her, not the one someone else sees as popular.

Of course, that's a concept I've never understood. How can a woman who comes to campus and rushes the first week, before classes start, possibly know which ones are considered "popular"?

Now I'll grant there's a lot I don't know about big rush. I do know enough that I have no interest in learning more. What I have seen, in the times I've been advisor to chapters, is enough to make me stay away from rush forever.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Why shouldn't she drop out early? There's next year if she changes her mind, and if she regrets the decision, well, it was her decision.

As I said, we all live with bad decisions. It's her decision.

Well of course, it's the PNM's decision! Like I said before, they ARE adults, and they are capable of making their own decisions!

Say a PNM comes up to you and says she's dropping out after being dissatisfied with her schedule. I gather you'd be like,"Ok". I would tell the PNM that she has nothing to lose because she might like a chapter that she was only lukewarm about before, etc etc. to give her reasons to stick it out, but of course in no way force her. It's just information. If someone can warn you about making a [potentially] bad decision, you'd appreciate it, right?

I'd liken it to someone telling a teenager to use a condom. You could "let them live with the consequences" without saying a word and let them maybe get pregnant or an STD, or you can explain why using a condom is a good idea. No one can force the teen to use a condom, but information never hurt anyone. If the teen thought that nothing bad could happen while having unprotected sex, then the warning was definitely worth it if they decide to use the condom.

(Disclaimer: I am not implying that dropping out thus potentially ruining one's chances of going Greek and unplanned pregnancy/STD are of equal negativity, but I just wanted to illustrate the point that information never hurt anyone.)

Also, about hiding affiliation, read Honeychile's retro recruitment thread and tell me it was a good thing that her Rho Chi's affiliation was out in the open. Honeychile felt pressured to keep returning to her Rho Chi's chapter, because she didn't want to cut her Rho Chi's chapter in front of her. It made Honeychile resentful. Ok, I get it, "It was her decision, blah blah blah," but why put a PNM in an unnecessarily uncomfortable position?