Rush - What to NOT do or say

[JennLev]

We had a girl rush and did not get let in, she actually said some horrible things that were not true about our sorority to other people on campus. I feel she said those things because we did not let her in, however the things that she said about our girls really hurt our reputation on campus. She did not end up joining a sorority so there was no one to go to to get her to stop saying these things. I wish there was a way to stop that also, but unfortunately I guess you just have to roll with the punches. Would be neat if you could sue someone for that for liable, not that I would ever take it that far, but someone spreading fake rumors can hurt your membership if it was really bad.

[LucyKKG]

People have said stuff like this before, but don't talk smack in public! I went to the bathroom in between philanthropy rounds at our last recruitment, and I ran into some PNMs. (Our room and the other NPC's room were both close to it.) Three PNMs were talking about how bored they were right in front of me and my sisters. Duh! Needless to say, they didn't join either group.

Prepare yourself for questions you may be asked (like a job interview). After reading these posts, I realized I need to do the same thing! If someone asked me what I like to do for fun, what would I say? I thought of several things, but it's easier to tell someone later if you think about it beforehand.

Learn about the sorority if you are truly interested in it. (It doesn't have to be in a stalker way!) I would be really impressed if a PNM brought up our volunteer work with the homeless shelter.

Dress nicely even if your school doesn't have a cut-throat recruitment. I remember that my (now) little sis was wearing a nice sweater and skirt. She was a little over-dressed, but she looked really nice. I can tell she put thought into her outfit and it reflected in her personality as well.

Oooh I'm excited for recruitment now!

[ktbug10474]

Hey ya'll !!!

I had a question about recruitment. I've already completed my freshman year but this past may i took a semester off to do an internship at disney.
therefore, i missed the 07 rush.

What i was wondering is since I missed this year's rush will that put me in a bad spot? I will be a sophomore when I rush in the fall. Also, I do attend college in the south.

And thank ya'll so much for posting this, this makes me feel so much better about rush, even though it's quite a few months away.

[katiebug_ddd]

i remember when i went through recruitment, a rusher of mine asked me if i partied and even if i had ever tried any kind of drugs! it made me very uncomfortable and turned me off to the entire sorority!!

KEEP IT CLASSY, LADIES!

[luv n tpa]

Before adding PNMs on Facebook became taboo [aka when I rushed], sister from ABC sorority added me right away after their first party. I thought it was desperate and creepy. Ladies, show that you're interested, but don't stalk the PNMs.

And dearest PNMs, let me tell you a tale. Once upon a time, I was an affliliated Rho Chi [informal recruitment]. I was waiting for the second group of girls to arrive for their preference ceremony with TPA, when one girl and her friend were talking to me. And I quote, "I just came from ABC. It was awesome, I really like them. I don't really like TPA, they kinda suck. But I'm just going so people don't think that I'm a loser and only got one pref."

One more time, I was an affiliated Rho Chi. Yeah. End of that story.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by luv n tpa

Before adding PNMs on Facebook became taboo [aka when I rushed], sister from ABC sorority added me right away after their first party. I thought it was desperate and creepy. Ladies, show that you're interested, but don't stalk the PNMs.

And dearest PNMs, let me tell you a tale. Once upon a time, I was an affliliated Rho Chi [informal recruitment]. I was waiting for the second group of girls to arrive for their preference ceremony with TPA, when one girl and her friend were talking to me. And I quote, "I just came from ABC. It was awesome, I really like them. I don't really like TPA, they kinda suck. But I'm just going so people don't think that I'm a loser and only got one pref."

One more time, I was an affiliated Rho Chi. Yeah. End of that story.

D'oh!

Pray tell, did that girl get a bid anywhere?

[Thetagirl218]

Some of my pet peeves with PNMs during Formal.... (Disclaimer, I witnessed all of these!)

• Girls who walk into the recruitment party and trash talk my sorority in front of my face without even learning about it......I actually had one PNM tell me that XYZ said you were soft on some issue....Needless to say I was not happy, and I don't think that girl came back the next night.
• Girls who trash talk other sororities. I hate it when some PNMs think they are going to make themselves look good when they trash talk other sororities that they have already visited or have heard about. I always took offense to that as I had friends in all of the sororities on campus. One PNM even told me a soroities member's name who she has met and didn't like... Little did she know that that girl was a friend of mine....
• One time during recruitment, I had met a PNM who stared at my chest the entire time!!!! Now talk about feel unconformable.... Mind you I was wearing a collared shirt at the time.....I guess this girl was very nervous, but when she came back the next time she did the same thing to several of my sisters....weird...

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Thetagirl218

[*] Girls who trash talk other sororities. I hate it when some PNMs think they are going to make themselves look good when they trash talk other sororities that they have already visited or have heard about. I always took offense to that as I had friends in all of the sororities on campus. One PNM even told me a soroities member's name who she has met and didn't like... Little did she know that that girl was a friend of mine....

This is terrible, and VERY awkward for the sorority member (even if she hates the other sorority's guts) because we're not supposed to talk about other sororities AT ALL - we can be penalized if we do - and because we don't want to "reprimand" the PNM. Rock and a hard place.

[cuteASAbug]

Last semester, I went to NJ with some volunteers to help out one of our chapters with recruitment because they had low numbers at the time. I ended up talking to a one of their rushees. I started talking to her about sorority life and how great it is and asked her what made her come out to recruitment. Her response- I'm trying to join Delta Sigma Theta and I'm only looking at all of your sororities as a last resort. I really didn't know how to respond to that. I should've gotten her name so I could've gotten my Delta friend to write her a very special rec. I know that PNM's are told to be themselves during recruitment, but there is a thing as being yourself a little too much.

[MerryGPhiB]

... the best response is to be curious and active listen. One you may find out what her specifics interests are and be able to turn it into an opportunity. Such as, well I'm glad you're excited about_____ (feel free to fill this in - such as - the leadership opportunities)- , you may want to ask that exact question of each other groups as too and find out what makes each unique. It's a great time to get to know about all of the houses on campus.

If she gets released by her favorite, she'll appreciate the suggestion and many times it gets a young woman to rethink the opportunity sitting right in front of her......

I learned a fabulous saying in Grad school.... you don't know what you don't know..... it is so very true. So often we think, XYZ is the one and only house.... yet we have never even looked at the opportunities right in front of us!

[denimeans]

Originally Posted by AOIIalum

Just because you know 'everyone' in JKL and your 'best friend' is in UV, that does not mean you get a bid. It also doesn't mean that you will even like JKL or UV! If you like PQR the best for you, then that's the answer

This year I had a girl who absolutly could not talk to---She looked bored, seemed pissed off just bad attitude....but this is what made me mad.

I started telling her a little about our chapter, conecting stuff we do to things she was talking about .
Her response "You don't need to tell me about you sorority. I used to date an A E Pi. I already know everyone in your sorority and I know everything about it."

I didn't have much to say......I red carded her...and she didn't get a bid from us or anyone else....she tried informal too with us...

Point being, don't assume/say you know everythingif you don't know me! If the girls are repeating themselves, let them know, but that's it.

As it turns out, she is actually a rather sweet girl, but with her attitude that somehow she should automatically get in, she will never get in anywhere.

[denimeans]

Originally Posted by kchaptergphib

At Minnesota, we as sorority members were ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to discuss those famous B's:
Bible (religion)
Booze (drugs of any kind)
Bank (how much/little money your family has)
Bed (sexual habits)
Bush (politics)
Bash (dirty rushing/dissing other sororities)

We are actually supposed to (subtly) ask them about money to make sure they can pay, as do most chapters on campus

We live by SAM
Support- do their parents, boyfriend, siblings etc. like/hate the idea?
Academics/Activities-Is this girl already involved? We want campus leaders. Does she study? Skip class?
Money- Does she have a job? Scholarships? Is she already struggling to pay for school?

Money is flat out the #1 reason why girls drop....and our dues are only about $500 a year.

Point being there's a reason to ask/tell about money. If you can't pay your bills before rush, how are you going to be able to handle them and a sorority.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by denimeans

We are actually supposed to (subtly) ask them about money to make sure they can pay, as do most chapters on campus

I'm really glad we were all required to hand out financial info brochures during recruitment so we never had to try and figure out if they could afford it. If a girl coudnt afford it, she dropped out of recruitment.

[denimeans]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm really glad we were all required to hand out financial info brochures during recruitment so we never had to try and figure out if they could afford it. If a girl coudnt afford it, she dropped out of recruitment.

We do do that too, but most girls don't just drop out of recruitment. You still have to kind of read them to find out if they can pay....most girls stay in recruitment even when they're not quite sure how they're going to pay for it.

[Zillini]

Just when I think I've heard it all, somebody comes up with something new. This actually happened this past year.

Don't talk about the boob job your parents gave you as a birthday present. We don't want to know how badly you needed one, what a great job your surgeon did, how real they look, how real they feel, nor how all the guys "love 'em".