Greek Social Life - Then and Now

[SNBullet]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

How, in 2007, with all we know about STDs, and the still too-high number of unwanted teen pregnancies, can anyone say that it is "the guys' job"? Ignorant, ignorant, ignorant!

Seriously, girls, protect yourself. If there is any chance in hell of you hooking up, carry your own protection. Alcohol impairs judgment, and in the heat of the moment, more people are likely to chance it than stop what they're doing.

This is why there are still so many nasty STDs and sexually-transmitted AIDS and unwanted preganancies. (And don't preach to me that no birth control is 100% effective. I am talking about blatant NON USE of condoms).

/end soapbox preaching

No offense, but if you ask a guy to have sex with you, and he doesnt have a condom and you do it anyway, you deserve any funky cheese you get. Same goes for guys, if you dont have a condom and you know a girl in the biblical sense, you derserve whatever you catch. Alchohol is no excuse for impaired judgement. dont drink as much.

I drink, and yet somehow i am able to avoid all these temptations and dont make stupid choices. if you get sloshed and make bad choices then thats the consequence of your action. deal with it.

[kathykd2005]

I'm not sure if anyone "deserves" any "funky cheese," but I do understand where you are coming from. If you make stupid decisions, be prepared to deal with the consequences of those choices.

[AlphaFrog]

Honestly, I don't think I went to a conservative school, and I never saw any illegal drugs, and the most risque party shirt I saw was our barndance shirt with AGRho, which said, "Rolling in the Hay with ASA" and had a boy and a girl with naked feet sticking out of a hay bale.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I was agreeing with you. My aunt (who has no kids, thus not in touch) was the one who thought all teenagers had rainbow parties after seeing it on Oprah, not Benzgirl.

This reminds me of my grandmother, who upon finding out I was going to a public highschool (*gasp*) told my mother that I would probably join a gang because she saw on oprah a special on gangs in high schools.

[SWTXBelle]

We are not a gang, we are a CLUB!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

I'm not sure if anyone "deserves" any "funky cheese," but I do understand where you are coming from. If you make stupid decisions, be prepared to deal with the consequences of those choices.

Like I said above...it's not a question of anyone "deserving" anything, or if girls carry condoms they're sluts, or if guys carry them they're sluts. IT IS A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE. AIDS does not have a cure...the spread of it affects many more people than just the people who have the disease.

[lillady85]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I was agreeing with you. My aunt (who has no kids, thus not in touch) was the one who thought all teenagers had rainbow parties after seeing it on Oprah, not Benzgirl.

I wasn't saying you were disagreeing. Sorry if it came out that way. I was referring to Benzgirl in the original topic, that of what her niece said. The last part was directed towards adults who think like your aunt. Pardon the confusion.

And yes, everyone should use condoms. My problem with the way it was originally stated is that college kids nowadays carry them because all they do on their free time is have sex with whoever/whenever. If you go out, carry one. But do you need one in your book during class? That's a bit much.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Like I said above...it's not a question of anyone "deserving" anything, or if girls carry condoms they're sluts, or if guys carry them they're sluts. IT IS A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE. AIDS does not have a cure...the spread of it affects many more people than just the people who have the disease.

I was not addressing you personally, I was addressing another poster, but I am WELL AWARE of the issue of AIDS. Obviously it is a public issue; I am not afraid to say that my mother died of AIDS complications in 1996. However, that doesn't mean that certain decisions people make don't cause the issue of AIDS, does it?

[SWTXBelle]

For what it is worth - when I was taking my high school senior English classes to the Rice University library I would always warn them that there was a vending machine which sold highlighters, post-it notes, and condoms. I didn't want them giggling and pointing (which happened my first time there ). So apparently, if you hook up between the stacks, neither has to bring a condom - just enough quarters!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

I was not addressing you personally, I was addressing another poster, but I am WELL AWARE of the issue of AIDS. Obviously it is a public issue; I am not afraid to say that my mother died of AIDS complications in 1996. However, that doesn't mean that certain decisions people make don't cause the issue of AIDS, does it?

Yeah, I probably should have also quoted SNBullet - but the fact is the bad decision is the not using the condom or protecting yourself, not the sleeping around. (That is, this is a health issue not a moral issue.)

[Thetagirl218]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

This is how my formals went: Most girls borrowed dresses from each other. In fact for my last formal I borrowed a dress from one of my friends who was actually in a different sorority, she had worn the dress to her last formal. I borrowed my jewelry from my little, my hair was done by one of my sister's roommates who was also in another sorority, and I did my own makeup.

Dates met up beforehand and then took the school bus, not luxury style, and parties usually happened at houses off campus.

[Benzgirl]

Seems I am taking a beating for what I was told.
First, I had to Google Rainbow Party. Had no clue since I'm not up on Urban Slang.

Girls do carry condoms and should carry condoms if they intend on hooking up. No one should ever rely on someone else to be responsible for their health.

The TGs and parties...evidently some campuses (and some chapters) are more risque than others. She has shown me pictures, so she wasn't lying. I even saw some resemblance to Brit-Brit's comeback flop where her muffin-top was hanging over her bottoms. I check facebook from time to time to see what is happening at our chapter at a local school. Glad to say that our sorority is not the ones striking sultry poses with the caption, "Happy to be a new sexy ABC", or playing kissy-face with their sisters.

The formals...I'm sure what I wrote was the extreme, but she was referring to one particular chapter where I have no doubt it's true. This is the house that had "fake-bakes" back when I was in school and always had daddy buy them a new car.

The drugs. Trust me...It's there. One Miami University Sigma Nu OD'd last month on Methadone. There also have been several threads on GC to support chapters whose charters' were pulled due to drugs. I didn't do weed when I was in school, but it was there. I never said that everyone was doing it, but the drugs today seem to be more addictive.

The stalkings and the shootings....
Stalkings are probably happening moreso in the form of lurkings. Hell, my mother Googles her grandchildren on a regular basis and is horrified that results say, "XXX Jane Doe XXX Nude Photos". Mom hasn't figured out if she Googled herself, there would be Nude Photos of herself out there
The kids are concerned about shootings. I don't think I ever would have thought it could happen when I was in college. Maybe the fear is a good thing. It makes them more cautious.

[SNBullet]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

I'm not sure if anyone "deserves" any "funky cheese," but I do understand where you are coming from. If you make stupid decisions, be prepared to deal with the consequences of those choices.

I mean deserve in the sense that if you have unprotected sex with a random guy, you shouldnt be surprised if you get some sort of bug. i dont mena to sound harsh, but its the way i feel.

[kathykd2005]

I know what you meant. Moral or health reasons, if you don't do what you should do (protect yourself, whether it be spiritually or physically), then the reaction won't be a positive one.

[Leslie Anne]

Interesting discussion. From what I've read the only conclusion I can come up with is "it depends on the campus."

However, it was also interesting to read what VioletPretty wrote because she and I went to the same university but I was there 20 years earlier.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Themed Gatherings:
-Now: Cops and Robbers (girls in booty shorts and low-cut tops with push-up Bras). "_____ and Ho" (Golf Pros and Tennis Hos, Pimp and Ho, CEOs and Office Hos). 80s themes (explained to her that we didn't wear mini skirts up to our ass), Trailer Trash
-Then: Luau, Double-vision, Fiesta, Toga, Disco Fever, Flash Dance, Preppy, Caddy Shack, Casino, Old West.

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I would say I more closely represent "now" rather than "then" since I graduated in May 2007. I'll provide some commentary.

Mostly accurate. We had a "party like a rockstar", my personal favorite. Also "Halfway to Halloween", "When I grow up", "Disney characters", New Years in November, Heaven and Hell,
Don't forget graffiti and stoplight themes as well. These would usually be fraternity parties rather than a sorority sponsored event.

Twenty years ago, it definitely would have been "then" for me. We did luau, fiesta, preppy, toga, and my personal favorite destination unknown. Dressing skimpily just wasn't done and a "pimps and hos" party? Forget it! Never!

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Formals:
-Now: Buy a new dress and jewelry. Have hair and makeup done. Manicure and Pedicure. Rent limo or ride in luxury bus. Afterparty in a hotel suite with a jacuzzi.
-Then: Swap your last formal dress with a sister and borrow jewelry off someone else. Do your own hair and makeup. Paint your nails and maybe your toe nails too. Date meets you at the house and you board one of the busses. Afterparty in someone's off-campus apartment

Originally Posted by violetpretty

My formals were much more like the "then". We usually had a dress swap a few weeks before formal, and most of us recycled at least one formal dress from high school (myself included). I don't recall anyone ever getting their hair or makeup professionally done, though we often did each other's hair and makeup. Renting a limo wouldn't fly due to my GLO's RM policies. We took charter buses, I don't know if those qualify as "luxury". Hotel suite in a jacuzzi? Yeah right! I think these differences depend more on the affluence of the school and the chapter members (as well as RM policies) rather than "now and then".

Generally, dress buying was a first year thing. Then you were "stocked up." From there it was dress swapping. Manicures before a formal were fairly common. No limos, because of RM it was all buses. Hotel suites? Yes, but not with jacuzzis. Someone always rented a room at the hotel but it was mostly for drinking and hanging out and, occasionally, for hooking up.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Alcohol and Drugs
-Now: Beer and Hard Liquor, Crystal Meth, Crack, Heroin, Ritalin
-Then: Beer, Grain Alcohol, a little pot, Coffee

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Maybe I am just sheltered, but I have never seen anything other than alcohol and weed, and never heard about anyone using anything other than alcohol, weed or coke at parties. Or maybe it's a regional difference? A bunch of my sisters had a party with the lacrosse team, who brought coke and my sisters flipped and kicked them out. I have heard of people using Adderall, but not at parties.

Big difference here. I don't know if it's then versus now or what, but drugs were very much on the scene. That said, I have to credit my sorority with getting me away from drugs. I was living in a rental house with several Greeks and a few non-Greeks. It was drug-central: pot, coke, shrooms, and eventually some crack. I didn't realize the extent of it until years later, but I was basically living with the major supplier of cocaine to the entire Greek system -- a few houses moreso than others.

Acceptance of it varied though. My sorority wasn't into it (of couse there were a few pot-heads on the side.) Another sorority, on the other hand, was heavily into cocaine use. The fraternities pretty much went for anything and everything.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Sex
-Now: You carry condoms on you at all times and you hook up very casually with anyone, of any sex, and everyone knows. Walk of shame is shamless. Worry is HIV and STDs
-Then (note: AIDS had just been identified): Girls who were pinned and lavaliered spent the night with their BFs, everyone knows. Girl hooks up with someone after a date party and only roommate knows. Walk of Shame was shameful. Worry was pregnancy and STDs

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Yes, morals are looser today, but there is A LOT of variation. I am sure every chapter has girls who really get around, girls who are waiting until marriage, and everything in between. I wouldn't say the Walk of Shame is shameless, but humorous. The level of shame would depend on who it was that you hooked up with too.

The walk of shame was hugely shameful. Aids was just starting to become a concern but VD was definitely a worry.


So, some things have changed at my campus and some things haven't. What really shocked me was seeing what was going on 20 years later across the country in Southern California. This post is long enough already so I won't go into the details, but what I saw in Los Angeles was truly frightening.