living together before marriage: opinions?

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by Kevin

The trouble with folks like you is this: What happens if you do decide to go your separate ways? Being married carries with it all sorts of protections in divorce. You don't have those sorts of protections if you're just dissolving a partnership. Also -- if one of you dies and doesn't have a will, what happens then?

This is my major issue with cohabitation (and the reason I am for gay civil unions), and something that made me get out of my relationship as soon as I realized that I didn't want to get married to him. We were on great terms--and still are--but there was no way I was going to stay in a relationship out of inertia, because I would probably be the one left out in the cold financially in a split.

Also, what happens when one person gets really sick? Without anything listing you as a next of kin or giving you power of attorney, you're SOL. As good as you "think" you are with your SO's family, people show their asses when there's a crisis.

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Also, what happens when one person gets really sick? Without anything listing you as a next of kin or giving you power of attorney, you're SOL. As good as you "think" you are with your SO's family, people show their asses when there's a crisis.

This was something that was brought up when we thought my fiance was going to have neck surgery. I told him that he should probably have his mom or dad present for the surgery in case something went wrong. I would have no say in the matter since we aren't married yet.

Although speaking about assets within the "household" the neighbors of friends initially only lived together because it was financially easier. They actually would mark stuff like furniture with one or the other's name just in case. They even kept it up after marriage for a bit. But they have been happily married for years with grown children now. But at the time it was a system they figured would work.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

This is my major issue with cohabitation (and the reason I am for gay civil unions), and something that made me get out of my relationship as soon as I realized that I didn't want to get married to him. We were on great terms--and still are--but there was no way I was going to stay in a relationship out of inertia, because I would probably be the one left out in the cold financially in a split.

Also, what happens when one person gets really sick? Without anything listing you as a next of kin or giving you power of attorney, you're SOL. As good as you "think" you are with your SO's family, people show their asses when there's a crisis.

I agree with all of that.

Some people seem to think marriage is passé now, apparently. As passé as it is, however, the protections which come with it should still prove to be extremely relevant. For all the bullcrap that goes along with getting POAs written up, making sure wills are in order, owning everything in a corporate partnership, etc., marriage is a hell of a lot easier.

Also, if you're afraid of what happens in a divorce, see lawyers, get prenupital agreements written up. I very much believe in marriage for life, etc., (I'm old fashioned like that), but I still have a prenup, because sh%% happens.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I agree with all of that.

Some people seem to think marriage is passé now, apparently. As passé as it is, however, the protections which come with it should still prove to be extremely relevant. For all the bullcrap that goes along with getting POAs written up, making sure wills are in order, owning everything in a corporate partnership, etc., marriage is a hell of a lot easier.

Also, if you're afraid of what happens in a divorce, see lawyers, get prenupital agreements written up. I very much believe in marriage for life, etc., (I'm old fashioned like that), but I still have a prenup, because sh%% happens.

I'm surprised you have a prenup only because most of my classmates think they are evil, even the ones who are planning on doing family law. I want to have one but the Conservinator is opposed (surprise!). I think he's trying to steal my assets.

That said, could we quit it with all the law talk, please? I pop on GC for a break from studying and what do I get? More law.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

I'm surprised you have a prenup only because most of my classmates think they are evil, even the ones who are planning on doing family law. I want to have one but the Conservinator is opposed (surprise!). I think he's trying to steal my assets.

That said, could we quit it with all the law talk, please? I pop on GC for a break from studying and what do I get? More law.

That bastard.

At this point, I believe that all of the stuff in my prenup would probably be considered separate property anyhow.

We conservatives are terrific at increasing our assets. All I can tell you to do is be careful. You're probably screwed anyhow. Good luck with finals.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by Kevin

That bastard.

At this point, I believe that all of the stuff in my prenup would probably be considered separate property anyhow.

We conservatives are terrific at increasing our assets. All I can tell you to do is be careful. You're probably screwed anyhow. Good luck with finals.

Well, he'll always want my sweet government benefits if I get a PD job, so I guess I have that going for me.

And we live in a community property state so I'll just commingle all our stuff to make sure I get half!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

I think he's trying to feel my assets.

Fixed that for you.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Fixed that for you.

EW AlphaFrog, not before marriage.