Assigning Bigs/Littles - Page 3

ZTA zetahunny · #31 10-31-2007, 06:52 PM

I don't really remember why or how, but I was the one who matched bigs and littles in my sorority. Gosh after readng this, I hope I did an ok job. What I do remember is that a vast majority of new members requested the same active to be their big. Usually this wasn't necessarily the most active member. It would be more honest to say the most requested big was the best rusher or best sales person which is also undeniably a valuable talent and art. I remember keeping party girls together and Bible study girls together and hoped for the best. There was a semi bid matching process, but it wasn't balanced. We matched bigs after about a month and had pledge classes and quotas of about 31ish. Larger chapters would be tough. I think I'm pretty good at matching people up and have fixed up many a married couple.

IsobelS · #32 11-26-2007, 04:27 PM

My chapter tried a lot of different things. We tried assigning littles, we tried doing the ranking system, and we tried letting the Bigs decide. Now that I am an alum and can look back, I think that they all had their flaws. The assignment system was the WORST because no one got who they really wanted and there was a lot of bickering and favoritism. It was just a mess! The ranking system was ok, but it always got messed up and someone always had their feelings hurt. And letting the Bigs decide wasn't always a good way of doing it either.

I think that now that I am kind of removed from it, it would be best to have some sort of anonymous application system where people are matched based on their interests and what they have in common.

skylark · #33 11-26-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IsobelS

The assignment system was the WORST because no one got who they really wanted and there was a lot of bickering and favoritism. It was just a mess!

I totally agree. I was assigned a little that I couldn't stand and would have said something about it if I had been given the chance before it was already announced to the whole chapter. I could see the potential for personality conflicts the first time I hung out with her for more than five minutes. I "made nice" and took a deep breath every time she drove me nuts during her first year... but eventually I couldn't stand it, she did something really irresponsible and I refused to help cover up her mistake, and so we had a falling out. I'm sure it was confusing to her, because in her mind we were totally wonderful friends and then one day I just stopped being nice to her. In reality, I just stopped faking it for the sake of the big/little relationship. We never really were able to mend things, and it bothers me today that I was robbed of having a real big-little relationship. I think whatever system you have, the big should have a chance to veto the assignment, even if the bigs aren't allowed to specifically pick a particular person.

Benzgirl · #34 11-26-2007, 07:03 PM

In our chapter you first needed to seek out who wanted a little. It was somewhat of a time and financial commitment.
As an active, I remember ranking my top 3 (I got my #1 choice). But, I don't remember as a pledge ranking or asking for anyone. In fact, I really didn't know my big. That is not to say I didn't like her, because I did. We just didn't know each other very well and were not real close.

#35 11-26-2007, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

In our chapter you first needed to seek out who wanted a little. It was somewhat of a time and financial commitment.
As an active, I remember ranking my top 3 (I got my #1 choice). But, I don't remember as a pledge ranking or asking for anyone. In fact, I really didn't know my big. That is not to say I didn't like her, because I did. We just didn't know each other very well and were not real close.

That's how we did it too. Most of the time, seniors preferred not to take on a daughter because of the time and financial commitment. If they did take a daughter, it was because there were more NMs than collegians to go around.

My sister-mom was a very good friend of mine even before joining the sorority, so it was only natural that she was to be my sister-mom. Still, I don't recall the collegians ever asking us who we wanted as our sister-moms at the beginning of the pledge period.

RaggedyAnn · #36 11-27-2007, 07:04 PM

I remember as a pledge we made a list every week of who our top five choices were for a big for our pledge masters. I think it just was a way for us to start thinking about it. After four or five weeks the sisters made their list and the match was made. Honestly, the sisters who made the attempts to be around the most, got chosen as big sisters. My husband's fraternity assigned littles, starting with seniors who didn't have bigs. I don't think there is a right or wrong way. We both have similar relationships with our bigs/littles currently.

atomicflowers · #37 02-29-2008, 02:00 PM

Each new member writes down her top 5 choices and then the potential big does the same, then we match them in the best way possible according to those lists

Thetagirl218 · #38 04-01-2008, 04:36 PM

I have mixed feelings about the whole matching process for the big/ little thing. My chapter had it set up so the actives would put down three girls and the New members put down five sisters they would like. However, sometimes our Exec board would decide that girls who both matched each other should not be big/ little because of stupid reasons. This happened to me.

I was upset when the whole situation happen, but I am know longer bitter, in fact I am thrilled it turned out this way. While the three girls I put down are lovely girls, I now cannot see myself being their big.

Because of the whole situation that went on, most of the chapter had their own "informal" bigs and littles.

I have two little sisters from such a process and I am still close them, and I don't think this would have happened if I had gone through the original process.

violetpretty · #39 04-01-2008, 07:26 PM

My chapter assigns (per the first request of actives) new members a temporary big on bid day (a heart sister) and this semester, the VPNME assigned/matched new members with a second temporary big (dove sister) halfway into the new member period.

My chapter does a ranking and matching of bigs and littles. Everyone who wants to be a big participates in "speed dating" with the new members (obviously new members have plenty of interaction before, but just in case a new member is unsure of who she wants, or doesn't know everyone who wants a little, etc, plus it's a fun activity). The new members and actives who want to be bigs rank their top five and the VPNME and one member from exec (someone who is not taking a little) match them up the best they can.

I'd say at least 95% of the time, bigs and littles were thrilled to be matched. One time we had an active who wanted to be a big but her GPA was below what our National says is required to be a big, so of course, she did not become a big that semester. There was some drama, but it's not like there was any favoritism going on because it was a National policy (and if there were favoritism, it'd be going the other way, because the active in question was the little of the VPNME at the time).