Bad situation with Big.. what would you do?

[tld221]

Originally Posted by trideltrockstar

I also had a bad experience with my big. We never spoke really, I never talked to her online or on the phone, I didn't even have her cell number. She ended up desisterizing a semester later. She was extremely shy, and not a mean person by any means, but we had nothing in common and would never have been friends. She didn't even tell me she was desisterizing, she didn't even tell us in chapter or send an email to the chapter...they just told us point blank and that was it.

I ended up getting adopted by another sister shortly afterwards, and now that I am a senior all the younger members think that she was always my big and don't even know about my first 'real' big.

please tell me that is a phrase you are using and not something that is in your chapter's vocabulary.

[IsobelS]

Originally Posted by exlurker

#1: Since she's dropping the sorority at the end of the semester, the problem is pretty much going to be solved in a few weeks, right? Just maintain your dignity, steer clear of her as much as possible, and as others have said try for special bonding relationships with other members.

I really agree with this person!! I had a terrible Big who made it difficult for me to do a lot of my pledge-related duties. She wasn't very supportive at all and she even got me into trouble a few times for things that she did! But in the end I just stayed clear of her and she ended up dropping out of the sorority right after I became active. Now I hardly even think about it because the rest of my pledge experience was so enjoyable except for that, and it worked itself out anyway.

[PhiLove83]

Ultimately your big does not have to be your best friend in a sorority... it is just someone that you looked up to at the time. As time goes on you may look up to different people anyways just form a special bond with other sisters in your sorority. She is the one who is being petty about a gift.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by tld221

please tell me that is a phrase you are using and not something that is in your chapter's vocabulary.

I'm fairly certain that for all NPC sororities, the term is technically "deactivating."

[AnchorAlumna]

The term, for us anyway, is "resign."

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

The term, for us anyway, is "resign."

Same here. We do say "depledge," though, to refer to the termination of membership for a non-initiated member.

[sageofages]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

I'm fairly certain that for all NPC sororities, the term is technically "deactivating."

In our case, it is NOT known as "de-anything". It is known as "relinquishing membership" or if still a Phi, then it is "breaking a pledge".

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

I'm fairly certain that for all NPC sororities, the term is technically "deactivating."

In Tri Sigma, the term for an initiated member who officially resigns is "termination".

I believe if a new member leaves, it is termed "depledging."

[PageantDiamonds]

You could pour sugar into her gas tank.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by PageantDiamonds

You could pour sugar into her gas tank.

...for posterity.