How did you know when it was time to end a relationship?

chopper640 · #1 10-31-2007, 04:40 PM

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

SthrnZeta · #2 10-31-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chopper640

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

Time for the old cliche about how communication is important and you should be able to just be honest with her about how you feel about marriage. If you lead her on, it only makes things worse.

kstar · #3 10-31-2007, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chopper640

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

On one hand, "shit or get off the pot." After 2 1/2 years, she feels invested and you need to tell her if you aren't.

On the other, do not get married just to shut her up.

KSUViolet06 · #4 10-31-2007, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chopper640

I have been in a relationship with the same girl for 2 1/2 years and she keeps bringing up the topic of marriage, she uses the term "when we get married" even though i havent proposed and i am in no way ready to get married for at least another 4 years or so. and when i correct her with the more appropriate "if we get married" she gets angry. what should i do???

I might get flamed for this, but whatever. After 2.5 years, you should have some idea of whether you want to marry this girl or not.

If you know now that you will not EVER marry her, you need to have that conversation with her and let her know. This is clearly something she wants, and if you know that it will NEVER happen, you need to let her know so she can decide whether she wants to stay with you or not. If she thinks you guys are eventually going to get married, and you know that you definitely don't want that, you are wasting her time.

On the other hand, if you DO want to marry her EVENTUALLY (just not right now), that's also something you need to discuss. This is just so that you 2 can be on the same page because it doesn't sound like you are right now.

Fleur de Lis · #5 10-31-2007, 11:43 PM

There is a big difference with not being sure you want to marry HER and not being sure you're ready for marriage or want to get married at all. Be up front with her, but don't lead her on forever and then break up after you've invested so many years. Why the four years exactly - grad school plans?