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Old 10-30-2007, 11:30 AM
OtterXO OtterXO is offline
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Join Date: May 2003
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I think that waiting until your lives are settled is key as well as working out where you see yourselves in the near future and agreeing on a plan that works for both of you. Two friends of mine got married and about a year later the husband decided he wanted to go back to school to get his MBA. This would have been great if he wanted to go somewhere local (California) but he ended up getting into a very prestigious school on the east coast....so they moved and she gave up her career, friends and life for his career. Now he's interviewing for jobs and she's basically waiting to find out where they'll be living. There's been a lot of resentment on her end because she didn't sign up for moving across the country and all that...but they're married so the option is move or divorce. On his end there's resentment because there are career options that she's just not okay with...particularly ones which require extensive travel or crazy hours. He feels like he's not going to have the uber successful career he "could" have had because he has a wife. I think if they had worked out those issues before they got married they would be better off right now. Or had dated long distance while he did all this and then decided if they wanted to be together a couple years after both of them were settled in their "career job".
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