A lot of time "conduct unbecoming" is a matter of whether the person gets caught officially.
Usually people know what is going on . . . but no one says anything unless there is some type of official/public scrutiny.
Then we throw the book at the person . . . make an example . . . or like the proverbial slay ride being chased by predators, we throw them to the wolves to by freedom for the rest of us.
This kind of goes back to the 11th commandment: Thou Shalt Not Get Caught.
If you keep the 11th commandment you can get away with almost anything . ..
Anyway: I am not sure this is completely fair, we either need to enforce things ourselves when we know wrong is happening at least stop sacrificing people.
This doesn't necessarily apply directly to your two cases, but is more a generic observation.
Integrity is not a sometime thing, its an all the time thing, and integrity and honor are really those small choices and victories made when no one is watching.
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