a hypothetical legacy question

[DZRose]

I am a legacy, and I have 2 daughters. My mother was very involved as an alumnae, as was my aunt who also was serving on national council at the time of my pledging/initiation. Although I knew my mother wanted me to become a DZ, I never once felt any pressure from her to do so. She always told me it was more important for me to find a place I belonged. My aunt? She would have flipped.

As for my daughters. Of course I would love for them to find the same level of sisterhood with Delta Zeta that I have found. It's amazing to share being a sister with my mother and also being her daughter and friend. Not to mention it gives me someone to talk to sorority issues about. I would love to have that with my girls also. As a Rho Chi (not sure what they're called now) I can't tell you how many girls didn't pledge their mother's sorority simply because their mother said "ABC or nowhere". I have pledged to myself to not do that, and follow the example put forth by my mom and just be involved as an alumnae and show them what DZ has to offer, both in college and after. But honestly, if/when they go to college, if there is a DZ chapter there, they might just not feel like that's the place for them, and although I'd be disappointed, if they chose another group I'd be happy that they found a sisterhood with another sorority. Cause that's what is important.

Of course, buying the t-shirs that say "little DZ" and "Future DZ" and as much pink/green stuff as humanly possible doesn't hurt...

[Benzgirl]

My mother was not in a GLO, Grandmother was from Europe and I have no sisters. But, I had 3 cousins who were in sororities.

I went through rush with an open mind. As it turned out, I wasn't interested in one of my cousin's GLOs (even though she and I are as close to sisters as you can get) and didn't return after the first round. I went to Prefs at the other two. They were my number 1 and 3 choices.

I was on my sorority's number one bid list and pledged. My cousin who was now an alum from another college was thrilled. I received roses from her on my pledge night, she attended several events during my pledge period, was with me at initiation and attended functions with me from time to time, even though that was not where she attended school.

It was great.

I didn't pref that house because of her. I did it because I loved the girls. It was great for her to share these events with me, but I would have loved my sorority just as much if she wasn't affliated.

Bottom line is be happy with whatever decision your children make whether it is the same GLO, different GLO or no Greek at all.

[ladygreek]

It wasn't important at all. I mean just because her grandmother, mother, aunt and cousin were all Deltas meant nothing. We told her she could do what she wanted, we just wouldn't pay her tuition or send her money if she made the wrong decision.














j/k sorta

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Ocalagirl

I guess I will throw my two cents in and maybe it might be different from another pnm, but here goes:

If my mom had been greek, I would have wanted to join her legacy chapter so she could be at my iniation. I am envious of these these daughters who join their mother's GLO's and have that special bond.

You are saying this as a non-greek however. Wanting to join her hypothetical chapter is not the same as meeting people from her GLO, clicking with them, and deliberately choosing them.

Originally Posted by ladygreek

It wasn't important at all. I mean just because her grandmother, mother, aunt and cousin were all Deltas meant nothing. We told her she could do what she wanted, we just wouldn't pay her tuition or send her money if she made the wrong decision.

j/k sorta

I see more of the whole "He/she can join another one, but I won't pay for the 'wrong' decision" mentality from the D9 groups and while I understand the lifelong loyalty to one's GLO, I feel this little twitch of sadness for kids who are pressured by family, or may not join if money is an issue.

[Ocalagirl]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

You are saying this as a non-greek however. Wanting to join her hypothetical chapter is not the same as meeting people from her GLO, clicking with them, and deliberately choosing them.

I see more of the whole "He/she can join another one, but I won't pay for the 'wrong' decision" mentality from the D9 groups and while I understand the lifelong loyalty to one's GLO, I feel this little twitch of sadness for kids who are pressured by family, or may not join if money is an issue.

I totally agree with choosing a chapter based on how you click with people verses wanting to join just because it is your legacy chapter or having pressure put on you to do so. I was just saying as a pnm I would love to have someone to share that experience with.

[AlexMack]

If my daughter is anything like me, chances are she won't go greek and I'm fine with that. All I'd want her to know is that the stereotypes are wrong and greeks aren't evil cliquey people who were in the popular crowd in high school and are now continuing their reign.

It makes me sad to see a really greek family and know that there's immense pressure for the kids to go greek and not to choose the wrong sorority/fraternity. The whole 'I won't pay your dues if you join that chapter!' thing just drops my jaw. I can't imagine ever saying that to my child. I just want them to be happy. If Sigma Kappa does that, fantastic. If another GLO does it, great. If they don't want to join at all, wonderful.
Hell, they don't even have to go to college if they don't want to.

[KSUViolet06]

If my (hypothetical) daughter rushed at a school with a chapter of my sorority and ended up joining a different one, I honestly wouldn't care.

My reasoning is that I'd rather see her happy in a sorority she likes, than in my sorority and unhappy. It also wouldn't make me happy to see my kid in ANY sorority that was doing things like hazing, be it mine or any other on campus.