Need Advice

flower3 · #1 08-25-2007, 07:45 AM

My D just pledged at UGA. Had a wonderful Rush and was very blessed to pledge her first choice-Pi Phi. Problem: Roomate is not Greek. They have been friends for a long time and now roomate has begun to give my D problems about being in a sorority. She has tried talking things out with her several times. She does not want to lose her as a friend but loves her new friends that she as already made throught the sorority. She has included roomate in every way possible, has gone out of her way to spend time with her, has reassured her that their friendship is very important to her. Her roomate will not respond or discuss this with her. What else can she go? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

SWTXBelle · #2 08-25-2007, 08:01 AM

Honestly? This "friend" doesn't sound very mature. Your daughter has done everything she can - but sometimes, you just can't do it by yourself. If the friendship were important to the roommate, she would be working at it, too, but doesn't seem interested. Your daughter should, IMHO, remain as friendly as she can to roomie, but concentrate her efforts on her sisters, who will be with her for the long run.

summer_gphib · #3 08-25-2007, 08:11 AM

I went through something similar in college.

Tell your daughter to try to spend time with her roomie, and see if they can't get involved in something together. (Like Student Government or an organization supporting a common interest.) That may help her roomie to see that she still wants to bond and be friends!

I wish the best for your daughter, her new wonderful Pi Phi sisters, and her roommate.

flower3 · #4 08-25-2007, 08:43 AM

Thanks for the advice. I really hate that D has found herself in this situation but I am not suprised. I plan to be supportive and hope that they can work this out amongst themselves. I think getting involved in something together might be the key. Anyone else who might have suggestions please let me know.

carnation · #5 08-25-2007, 08:51 AM

I echo the advice above--they made some great points! Somewhere there's a great activity that they can join togther. I would also think that she might state, pleasantly but firmly, that she doesn't want to hear any negative discussion about her sorority and the activities she does with them. You know how if somebody keeps sniping and sniping at you about some issue, you're bound to finally explode if they don't cut it out.

If roomie doesn't cut it out, your daughter may have to change housing arrangements next semester but honestly, it's worth it for some peace.

I'm happy that she's a Pi Phi!

flower3 · #6 08-25-2007, 09:58 AM

I don't think changing rooms at semester will be an option. Both girls signed a housing contract and I would like to see them work this out. Is it me or does anyone else agree that this what goes on in middle school? I hope things will be better soon. I am upset that my D cannot enjoy being a part of a sisterhood because of roomie.

indygphib · #7 08-25-2007, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flower3

My D just pledged at UGA. Had a wonderful Rush and was very blessed to pledge her first choice-Pi Phi. Problem: Roomate is not Greek. They have been friends for a long time and now roomate has begun to give my D problems about being in a sorority. She has tried talking things out with her several times. She does not want to lose her as a friend but loves her new friends that she as already made throught the sorority. She has included roomate in every way possible, has gone out of her way to spend time with her, has reassured her that their friendship is very important to her. Her roomate will not respond or discuss this with her. What else can she go? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

By any chance, did the roommate go through recruitment and not receive a bid? Perhaps this may be why the roommate is not responding well to your daughter joining a sorority.

flower3 · #8 08-25-2007, 04:55 PM

No her roomie did not go through Rush. She new before hand that my D would be participating and at the time seemed to be O.K. Her mother even wrote my daughter a rec for her sorority. I am sure they will work things out in time and I am probably over reacting. But I plan to offer the advice that everyone has given me and maybe it will work.

flower3 · #9 08-25-2007, 04:56 PM

I meant to say knew. The heat is finally getting to me.

couggirl · #10 08-27-2007, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flower3

No her roomie did not go through Rush.

Her mother even wrote my daughter a rec for her sorority.

I would wonder if now roomie is rethinking going through recruitment. Sometimes kids/teens do things to be very apart from their moms/parents and now (maybe?) roomie is rethinking her choice to not rush and kinda of acting out. I have known people who say over and over that they don't want to do something but then finally find out that they really wanted to do the thing that they were so adamently against to being with.

And I agree with the middle school maturity here, but i have meet a lot of people in my life who still have a middle school maturity level. I think going to college is fun, but also scary and might be overwhelming. (This is in agreement with what other people have said, but i just wanted to agree.) If they just began school I thinkt giving it time might be the best solution and for your daughter to not push anything too much. i would suggest being friends by her and roomie setting times were they can do things together and I would say during these times not bring up sorority because that might tick roomie off.