advice needed

[ZTA72]

SEC mom, you are too funny, to answer your question no, it was not a delayed rush, we moved them in and the next day, poof, it was time for parties. They had no preconceived notions about the chapters either. I did a little advising on the phone from afar, I just told them to go with their " heart". Without knowing about this site, I told them to " maximize their options " and give every one the benefit of the doubt. And of course they could have been released by some of the chapters that they cut.
It is also an out of state school for us, where we knew no one, and I am not an alum of the chapter at their school. It's more like things sometimes do work out.

ZTA 72

[SECMom]

Originally Posted by ZTA72

SEC mom, you are too funny, to answer your question no, it was not a delayed rush, we moved them in and the next day, poof, it was time for parties. They had no preconceived notions about the chapters either. I did a little advising on the phone from afar, I just told them to go with their " heart". Without knowing about this site, I told them to " maximize their options " and give every one the benefit of the doubt. And of course they could have been released by some of the chapters that they cut.
It is also an out of state school for us, where we knew no one, and I am not an alum of the chapter at their school. It's more like things sometimes do work out.

ZTA 72

Well, I'll have to say that if anyone deserved for something to work out it would be the mama of two girls going through rush at the same time in the SEC who is paying DOUBLE out of state tuition--I gotta tell ya, you have my respect AND prayers!

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by ZTA72

SEC mom, you are too funny, to answer your question no, it was not a delayed rush, we moved them in and the next day, poof, it was time for parties. They had no preconceived notions about the chapters either. I did a little advising on the phone from afar, I just told them to go with their " heart". Without knowing about this site, I told them to " maximize their options " and give every one the benefit of the doubt. And of course they could have been released by some of the chapters that they cut.
It is also an out of state school for us, where we knew no one, and I am not an alum of the chapter at their school. It's more like things sometimes do work out.ZTA 72

I'll bet those chapters did their jobs and requested recs during the summer. That's what the chapters are SUPPOSED to do. Some do it better than others. It REALLY should not be up to the PNMs and their mamas, but....this is, after all, the real world....
And I think out of state tuition is now TRIPLE!!

[auburnmom2007]

thank you all so much and most are genuinely concerned and helpful. all of this has sure given this mom much needed information... i love the quote from Bill Cosby on advice for the "stupid" person, i have been somewhat stupid in all of this. again thanks for the supportive info its unfortunate that i didnt find y'all before all of this began, i was getting a girl ready to leave home! i found you by accident by putting auburn mom in google!!! (i was looking for a sticker for my car!!!)

[UGAalum94]

Zillini,

I'm not disputing what you posted, but it seems to me that the chapter who invited a girl to one pref already had a say in terms of inviting her to membership, and they did.

If she's on the bid/pref list, wouldn't they be happy to have her as a QA?

Is the problem that she jumps ahead of girls, who also ranked the chapter number one, that the chapter had higher on the bid list, but who were matched to their number two choices instead?

I'm trying to figure out why a panhellenic system wouldn't just commit to matching even PNM that any chapter was willing to list on their bid list as long as she maximized her options.

ETA: again, I'm not second guessing your information. But this stuff is fascinating to me, and I'm always trying to figure out why a policy might go the way it did. It seems peculiar to offer guaranteed matching only to the girls most likely to match anyway while other through no "fault" or decision of their own only get a shot at regular placement.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

Zillini,

I'm not disputing what you posted, but it seems to me that the chapter who invited a girl to one pref already had a say in terms of inviting her to membership, and they did.

If she's on the bid/pref list, wouldn't they be happy to have her as a QA?

Is the problem that she jumps ahead of girls, who also ranked the chapter number one, that the chapter had higher on the bid list, but who were matched to their number two choices instead?

I'm trying to figure out why a panhellenic system wouldn't just commit to matching even PNM that any chapter was willing to list on their bid list as long as she maximized her options.

ETA: again, I'm not second guessing your information. But this stuff is fascinating to me, and I'm always trying to figure out why a policy might go the way it did. It seems peculiar to offer guaranteed matching only to the girls most likely to match anyway while other through no "fault" or decision of their own only get a shot at regular placement.

I highlighted the section where I believe you answered your own question. I think that would be the case but I'm not sure.

Also this policy has been in place for a long time, years prior to the now-not-so-new NPC Release Figure system. Prior to that it wasn't nearly as common as it is now for PNM's to only be invited to 1 or 2 Chapters on Pref Night. I don't have any stats to back this up, but I rarely heard of PNM's who weren't invited to at least 3 parties for Pref back then. I have to wonder now that it is more commonplace to only have 1 or 2 invitations, if Panhellenic will somehow change or even do away with this policy. It's an interesting question and one I'll ask next time I have the ear of someone in authority who can answer.

[Zillini]

Again Auburnmom, I'd like to reiterate that I wasn't trying to pick on you or anything of that sort. I think I speak for everyone here when I say we all cringe every time we hear anyone say "We were told Recs weren't necessary, so ..." It's no surprise to hear what happened next. While technically it's an accurate statement about Recs, it's so misleading and can put that PNM at a severe disadvantage in a highly competitve Recruitment process.

As for my sig quote, I use it on a different BB where I'm a moderator and trust me, it's much more applicable there. But I really like the quote and so decided to use it here as well.

[auburnmom2007]

so give this "stupid" mom the information that will allow my child to participate in something she really wants to be a part of in college. she sure didnt realize how important this would be to her until she shared the short time with "sisters" of different sororities.

[OSU Maman]

I think people need to realize that not all of us have been surrounded by or exposed to Greek life.

If I saw something that said recs were "not necessary, " then I would believe that statement (after finding out what a rec was-lol). It should not be assumed that people would know that even though stated that it's not necessary, you should get one anyway.

I am very sorry for your daughter, and hope that things work out for her some way.

My daughter will be attending Ohio State University. Recruitment doesn't take place until after Christmas. I understand that (or at least I thought I did) recs are not needed like they are at an SEC school. If someone has knowledge to the contrary, please let me know. Or should my daughter ask this question when she has her Welcome Week activities (where they will meet some of the people from Greek life)?

Thanks!

[UGAalum94]

I think all Greek Life offices at schools where recs are the norm should go to saying, "All girls participating in recruitment are encouraged to secure personal recommendations to each of the groups."

Girls who didn't get their own recs get bids every year, I think, at all the SEC schools. But that doesn't mean that recs weren't submitted on their behalf by alumnae who knew them who either took the initiative or were asked by the chapter.

Zillini, thanks for the info.

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

I think all Greek Life offices at schools where recs are the norm should go to saying, "All girls participating in recruitment are encouraged to secure personal recommendations to each of the groups."

From the Auburn Panhellenic website:

In 1992, the National Panhellenic Conference passed a resolution addressing letters of recommendation. The resolution, in part, states: "The responsibility of providing letters of recommendation for potential members rests with the members of NPC fraternities and recruitment information distributed through College and Alumnae Panhellenics shall contain nothing that infers letters of recommendation must be secured by the potential member."

[Bamarox]

The reality of big university rush is many chapters automatically cut everyone without a reference after the first round. It is a simple way to make a cut from 1400 to 700.

[auburnmom2007]

so give this "stupid" mom the information that will allow my child to participate in something she really wants to be a part of in college. she sure didnt realize how important this would be to her until she shared the short time with "sisters" of different sororities.

[sageofages]

Originally Posted by OSU Maman

I think people need to realize that not all of us have been surrounded by or exposed to Greek life.

If I saw something that said recs were "not necessary, " then I would believe that statement (after finding out what a rec was-lol). It should not be assumed that people would know that even though stated that it's not necessary, you should get one anyway.

I am very sorry for your daughter, and hope that things work out for her some way.

My daughter will be attending Ohio State University. Recruitment doesn't take place until after Christmas. I understand that (or at least I thought I did) recs are not needed like they are at an SEC school. If someone has knowledge to the contrary, please let me know. Or should my daughter ask this question when she has her Welcome Week activities (where they will meet some of the people from Greek life)?

Thanks!

Oh yes, definitely at THE Ohio State University...get recs. While not as crazed as the SEC for recs...they play a BIG role even at THE OSU.

[tennesseemom]

In the perfect world, the PNM is not supposed to know that an alum is writing a rec for her. It is supposed to be the alum, who knows and loves the girl who wants to write a rec. About 10-15 years ago it did get crazy at Auburn, that everyone HAD to have a rec, although"technically" the chapter would secure a rec if the PNM didn't have one. bottom line, the PNM is relying on young women, who are anxious to see their boyfriends, to call the alumni chapter of the hometown of the PNM, and get a rec. Is this possible? Yes, do these PNM get left out? Yes! Many times the PNM will be cut the first day, simply as a way of slimming the numbers down, and it is an easy way to do it. We must as alums make sure if we know of a PNM going through rush, that we inform her mother to get at least one rec for every sorority on campus! It is technically not the rule, but it is STRONGLY advised!