Passport cost $311k in back child support

[Kevin]

You don't know the whole story. While I agree -- people should *always* pay their child support, there's often a reason why they don't. Mom could have denied dad visitation and brainwashed the kids into thinking dad's a serial killer for all you know.

I'm sure that's not your situation, and really, if you wanted to go after your kids' deadbeat dad, you could hire an attorney to do so for you (or even work on contingency).

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by Kevin

You don't know the whole story. While I agree -- people should *always* pay their child support, there's often a reason why they don't. Mom could have denied dad visitation and brainwashed the kids into thinking dad's a serial killer for all you know.

I'm sure that's not your situation, and really, if you wanted to go after your kids' deadbeat dad, you could hire an attorney to do so for you (or even work on contingency).

my situation couldnt be more typical, except he decided to go and live the one place i cant chase him for support...jail. ive tried attorneys, ive tried everything. he is scott-free until he comes home. hes been away since 02, wont be home til 09. when he gets home, his tab will be close to $15k.

and yes, i do know some parents whose situation is complicated by a difficult custodial parent. but you cant NOT pay your support in VA, the courts see it as two completely different subjects. i still had to turn my child over for visitation even though he would not get a job and pay his support.

[Kevin]

Well, I don't know the law in VA and wouldn't venture to tell you what it is. Here in Oklahoma, it's pretty much the same. I can see how your guy gets out of paying Child Support by being in prison. You can hardly blame him for that...

There are any number of ways for you to go after a non-incarcerated deadbeat parent, however. In Oklahoma, we have garnishments, you can file contempt charges against them (which are quasi-criminal and could involve jail time), you can keep them from getting their driver's license, etc.

Going after deadbeat moms and dads is going to be something I'll probably end up doing a lot of once I get my intern's license (next semester).

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Well, I don't know the law in VA and wouldn't venture to tell you what it is. Here in Oklahoma, it's pretty much the same. I can see how your guy gets out of paying Child Support by being in prison. You can hardly blame him for that...

There are any number of ways for you to go after a non-incarcerated deadbeat parent, however. In Oklahoma, we have garnishments, you can file contempt charges against them (which are quasi-criminal and could involve jail time), you can keep them from getting their driver's license, etc.

Going after deadbeat moms and dads is going to be something I'll probably end up doing a lot of once I get my intern's license (next semester).

VA is one of those kooky commonwealth states. ive lived here my whole life, studied as a paralegal, and still dont pretend to know much!

one thing i love is the license suspensions.

[nikki1920]

Assuming the absent parent is working under the correct SSN that Support Enforcement has, then going after wages, tax returns would work. If they are paid under the table, then DCSE has little to go on.

All the custodial parent can do is keep fighting.

I work for Social Services and see this ALLLLLL the time.
LOVE the refund intercept and license suspension. Yay VA.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

LOVE the refund intercept and license suspension. Yay VA.

and the best part about that? when you do finally get pulled/catch a road block, they arrest you and your bail is set at whatever your back support is. a girlfriend i know was getting $12 a month in C.S., and when her ex got pulled, he had to cough up his $4500 owed, or spend a year in jail. funny how fast he found that money...

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Kevin

You don't know the whole story. While I agree -- people should *always* pay their child support, there's often a reason why they don't. Mom could have denied dad visitation and brainwashed the kids into thinking dad's a serial killer for all you know.

I'm sure that's not your situation, and really, if you wanted to go after your kids' deadbeat dad, you could hire an attorney to do so for you (or even work on contingency).

You know though, Kevin, that it doesn't entitle them to withhold the money right? Even if the kids think that Dad is a serial killer, they still have to eat.

[James]

Yah, but it doesn't provide the mom or dad with a lot of incentive to pay either.

There is probably some study that shows that the more time the non-custodial parent spends with his/her child the better the payment record.

I always thought that regardless of "custody" the parent that is paying child support should have to spend a significant amount of time with the child.

Its harder to neglect someone you see all the time. "out of sight, out of mind."

On the other hand, I always thought that the parent receiving the child support should be directly accountable for where the money is spent.

I am also generally in favor of a trust option where the money is in a custodial account either managed by a third party, or the custodial parent, but where there has to a record of where the money goes.

Keeps honest people honest.

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

You know though, Kevin, that it doesn't entitle them to withhold the money right? Even if the kids think that Dad is a serial killer, they still have to eat.

[sageofages]

Originally Posted by James

There is probably some study that shows that the more time the non-custodial parent spends with his/her child the better the payment record.

I always thought that regardless of "custody" the parent that is paying child support should have to spend a significant amount of time with the child.

Its harder to neglect someone you see all the time. "out of sight, out of mind."

Keeps honest people honest.

Not always....in my daughters cases (both are in their 20s now)

my oldest daughter's father saw her every single visitation, holidays and then some. I kept a decent relationship with him. He paid his support ontime....until the day he and his second wife divorced. The support payments stopped. Come to find out she was the one writing the checks. She and I get along wonderfully (crazy isn't it ) He continued to see her as dictated by our paternity agreement. And to date he owes me about $8,000.

Youngest daughter's father was court order no visitation. He pays only when the "state" finds him through his employer. To date he still owes around $35,000. She prefers to ignore his existence.

Lawyers want 1/3 of the amount due to them. The state will hunt these guys down for free eventually. I don't really need the money anymore, but I use it as a torture device anymore...and I admit it.

[SoCalGirl]

About VA - they are serious. When I worked in auto claims I inherited a file that was pending because the total loss check still had to be paid. We couldn't pay it because VA Dept of Child Services put a lien on the car due to delinquent child support. I'd get calls from the case worker and I'd have to transfer her to our legal counsel. Then the policyholder's grown children started coming out of the wood work to try and get the money themselves. Meanwhile, the policy holder is practically a vegetable from the accident and has a $1,000,000 PLUS medical bill. I'm sure somewhere the hospital was trying to figure out how to get the money themselves. The sad thing is that it was only about a $12K payout!

[DeltAlum]

Originally Posted by James

.
There is probably some study that shows that the more time the non-custodial parent spends with his/her child the better the payment record.

Not the case with our daughter's ex. He and/or his parents see his daughter a couple of times a week, and he hasn't paid a cent.

"I would like to see this set so a person can't LEAVE the country even, if they owe."

I kind of like that idea, but I'd change it around a little so that until he has paid up, don't let him back in.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by DeltAlum

I kind of like that idea, but I'd change it around a little so that until he has paid up, don't let him back in.

That's not a bad idea! Now if only I could get my ex-brother-in-law to leave the country...

[DeltAlum]

Now, let's think of some really ugly places to strand them...

[Drolefille]

I know in Illinois it's on the application to get a hunting or fishing license.

There's a section that requires you to attest that you do not owe child support, or something saying that you do. If you check that you do, I don't think you get the license... and they report you. If you check that you don't, and you're caught lying the fine is STEEP. So at the very least it adds an extra penalty onto a deadbeat's back.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

You know though, Kevin, that it doesn't entitle them to withhold the money right? Even if the kids think that Dad is a serial killer, they still have to eat.

I'm not saying it's right, but if mom brainwashes the kids to not want custodial time and to fear dad, why in the hell is dad going to give money to someone who has done this to him and to kids who hate him?

Maybe it isn't "taking responsibility," but it sure is a lot more understandable.

This isn't an extreme hypo either. I see it happen a lot.