Cutting the Umbilical Cord

OneTimeSBX · #1 08-06-2007, 03:15 PM

WHA?

"so billy, what qualities do you think you have that are a good fit for this job?"

"i dont know...mom, what do you think?"

i said it before on here, and im gonna say it again. unless they are doing financial aid paperwork, your parents have no business following you around on campus. period. LET ALONE job interviews. the closest they should be is in the parking lot, in the car waiting.

that is why your child comes running home at 33 after he loses his/her job. that is why they run to you when they have relationship issues. that is why they never move out!!

Still BLUTANG · #2 08-06-2007, 03:19 PM

there was a really good article and discussion on this topic in the washington post a couple of years ago. i'll see if i can dig it up.

AlphaFrog · #3 08-06-2007, 03:22 PM

I seem to remember the parents had more to do with salary requirements/negotiations and benefits, than actual "interview" questions.

Although I still can't believe that these kids wouldn't realize that their parents were going way ABOVE and BEYOND parental support.

OneTimeSBX · #4 08-06-2007, 03:44 PM

IF you came into my office, and had a parent along to assist in salary/benefit negotiations, i would seriously reconsider hiring you. its one thing to discuss at home, etc. especially if its maybe your first real job. i think thats actually a good idea.

but i cannot hire you and then the first time something comes up, im on the phone with your mom...

ForeverRoses · #5 08-06-2007, 03:46 PM

I have only experienced one parent ever coming to the job interview with a potential new hire (which I will now refer to as PNHs). However, the parent was simply providing a ride for the PNH and was going to wait in the car the entire time. Since it was a hot day, I offered to the PNH that his Dad could wait in the lobby.

The Dad did exactly that- sat in the lobby with a cup of coffee and a magazine. No way would he have been allowed in the actual interview.

As for salary or benefit negotiations, I only deal with the PNH directly. Talking to anyone else would be a breach of confidentiality-- and I would probably throw in that it is against company policy (and if it's not- I'll write a policy so that it is!).

I personally have more problems with helicopter spouses than helicopter parents. But at least I understand why some spouses hover- they are married to blithering idiots!

OneTimeSBX · #6 08-06-2007, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I personally have more problems with helicopter spouses than helicopter parents. But at least I understand why some spouses hover- they are married to blithering idiots!

very true...

AlphaFrog · #7 08-06-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

I personally have more problems with helicopter spouses than helicopter parents. But at least I understand why some spouses hover- they are married to blithering idiots!

As someone who takes phone calls several times a week from wives of both employees and "PNHs" (I like that)...I understand. I'll have a wife call and ask if we're hiring, go to our website, print off an application and fax it (obviously in her handwriting) along with a resume that looks like it's straight out of a resume book/wizard.

OneTimeSBX · #8 08-06-2007, 04:13 PM

these are the same wives who will choke their husbands if they asked them to do that for them...now i will admit, i do some faxing and emailing for mines, but he works in a kitchen where there is no internet access. i dont mind the little things, because he knows good and well if he can get to it he damn well better do it himself.

AlwaysSAI · #9 08-06-2007, 04:15 PM

Now, I'm still in school and all, but that doesn't give my input less gravity, right?

Anyway, I think the issue really lies in the way the child was raised. It starts at a very young age with the parents making small decisions for the child. "Honey, you need to wear this shirt with those pants because the shirt you have on doesn't match." Who gives a flying flip??! The kid is 4 years old and he needs to start somewhere with decision making.

Those parents are also the ones who insist on having their child repeat kindergarten because (and only because) when the mom was in school she also had a late birthday and didn't get her permit, liscense, first date whatever when all of her friends did. (Yes, I know the person this happened to and she is 22 years old and on the phone with her parents 22 hours out of the day)

Those are the same parents that set the girl's class schedule in high school until she graduates, picks her major for her and then plans her class schedule every semester of college until she graduates.

Those children are not raised to make decisions, let alone think independantly! They wouldn't know how to act in an interview and they would only feel safe with mommy by their side.

Seriously--I was allowed to wear a orange and purple tiedye shirt with red and fushcia shorts and I turned out just fine. In fact, I call my mom only to ask for her opinion---and the advice she gives is not the final say.

OneTimeSBX · #10 08-06-2007, 04:19 PM

BRAVO! @AlwaysSAI!

my parents made sure we had to step up and make choices. once we were "grown" they rarely like to be bothered with our decisions, to the point where dad told us he better not have his future sons-in-law ask for our hand in marriage. he felt it was an adult decision between a man and woman.

and honestly, mama's boys are the worst. seriously. that is where it all begins...

AlphaFrog · #11 08-06-2007, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Anyway, I think the issue really lies in the way the child was raised. It starts at a very young age with the parents making small decisions for the child. "Honey, you need to wear this shirt with those pants because the shirt you have on doesn't match." Who gives a flying flip??! The kid is 4 years old and he needs to start somewhere with decision making.

My 2 2/3 year old decided to leave the house the other day in 95 degree weather in sweatpants and a longsleeve blouse. She was going to the aircondtioned babysitter's house, so I didn't say anything, and sent a onsie along, just in case. No big deal.

I did however, make her change to go to the babysitters one day when she was wearing purple patterned pajama bottoms, a red tank top, and an orange sweater..I draw the line at Baglady Chic. Plus, you can't ALWAYS let them have their way...there's a fine line.

couggirl · #12 08-06-2007, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Those are the same parents that set the girl's class schedule in high school until she graduates, picks her major for her and then plans her class schedule every semester of college until she graduates.

Those children are not raised to make decisions, let alone think independantly! They wouldn't know how to act in an interview and they would only feel safe with mommy by their side.

This is my parents. the only difference is that since i graduated from high school I reaslized what my mom was doing and would not let her behave this way. She still tells me what to do and will get mad at me for not listening to her. This includes anything like her telling me that I am not using the right bank (yeah she yelled at me about that) to more personal things. The sad part is that I have wanted my mom to let me be an adult since high school graduation, but all of my realtives seem to yell at me for being mean to my mom. What? I am being mean because I don't let my mom control my life. WOW. I guess I am just the worlds worst person because I want to be an adult and live my own life. I should really just be ashamed that I am such a mean person that I do not let my mother control my life. well, i guess i am just going to hell for sure now.

33girl · #13 08-07-2007, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Those parents are also the ones who insist on having their child repeat kindergarten because (and only because) when the mom was in school she also had a late birthday and didn't get her permit, liscense, first date whatever when all of her friends did.

I agree with this and that it's a pain to get your license last and I would prevent my child from being in that position. However, I would do so by just holding the kid back from going to kindergarten for a year. Can't they do that where you are?

We had to be 5 by September 1 to start kindergarten. If you weren't (ex, if your BD was Sept 3) tough - you did not start. I know some schools still do Feb 1, which I think is way stupid. When was this girl's birthday?