NPHC Secretiveness, Insularity, Etc.

[PhDiva]

As a former aspirant who became a member of Sigma Gamma Rho by gleaning information from these boards, I recommend not only using discretion but also take time to read and absorb FIRST before you blab, blab, blab. When I joined GC a few years ago, I never made a "I wanna be an SGRho post as my introductory thread". Hell, SisterGreek Crimson Tide (of DST) even remarked that I keep my interest real quiet when she congratulated me on becoming a member. That is because (1) I read the stickies so based on that I knew most membership inquiries were frowned upon and (2) I could actually learn alot about how members interacted with sorors, fellow Greeks and non-affliated folks without screaming "Hey pick me, pick me!!!".

I think the frustration alot of BGLO members on GC feel is when an aspirant not only doesn't read the stickie threads which guide them to membership information via IHQ websites but there is this general disregard for learning how to properly become apart of an online community. Though online, it's still a community and there is a general vibe and it takes time to learn personalities, what's appropriate and to learn which member might be open to answering membership questions via PM. You wouldn't walk up to a group of Greeks on the yard and say "I'm gonna be your frat or soror soon!!!" so why do you think that's remotely okay online? I know online communication has retarded some of our abilities at social interactions but the least you can do is read the STICKIES and sit back and feel things out before you put your foot in your mouth.

PhDiva

[Wolfman]

Originally Posted by PhDiva

As a former aspirant who became a member of Sigma Gamma Rho by gleaning information from these boards, I recommend not only using discretion but also take time to read and absorb FIRST before you blab, blab, blab. When I joined GC a few years ago, I never made a "I wanna be an SGRho post as my introductory thread". Hell, SisterGreek Crimson Tide (of DST) even remarked that I keep my interest real quiet when she congratulated me on becoming a member. That is because (1) I read the stickies so based on that I knew most membership inquiries were frowned upon and (2) I could actually learn alot about how members interacted with sorors, fellow Greeks and non-affliated folks without screaming "Hey pick me, pick me!!!".

I think the frustration alot of BGLO members on GC feel is when an aspirant not only doesn't read the stickie threads which guide them to membership information via IHQ websites but there is this general disregard for learning how to properly become apart of an online community. Though online, it's still a community and there is a general vibe and it takes time to learn personalities, what's appropriate and to learn which member might be open to answering membership questions via PM. You wouldn't walk up to a group of Greeks on the yard and say "I'm gonna be your frat or soror soon!!!" so why do you think that's remotely okay online? I know online communication has retarded some of our abilities at social interactions but the least you can do is read the STICKIES and sit back and feel things out before you put your foot in your mouth.

PhDiva

Thank you for your wisdom and discretion but a central fact that needs to be considered in this forum GC is this: it is NOT the "real world." Nor should it be. People come here evidently b/c they feel they can voice their opinions and interact with and ask questions of those people in organizations they don't have access to or may not feel comfortable in doing so in the "real world." That's the point--and the genius of GC. The fact that we have these tete-a-tetes should be seen as the fulfillment of the goal of a real type of community, where you have a real diversity of people according to Greek affiliation, ethnic/racial group, Greek councils, geographic location,vocation, age, life and Greek experience, political affiliation, sexual orientation and religious commitment. Basically,you don't find this type of interaction in the real world! It's refreshing and gives me hope! If it's messy and frustrating at times, then so be it. This is a healthy alternative to Greeks and non-Greeks being reinforced with all kinds of prejudiced and preconceived notions about other Greeks, and harboring ways of thinking that don't consider other's opinions and how other organzations operate,etc. b/c they are only interacting with like-minded people whom they feel comfortable with or have a particular Greek council affiliation with.

Until we can get ourselves together off line and accomplish this in the "real world," we should not try to enforce a type of uniformity of engagement on GC. Our experiences are different! If I would err, I would err on the side of generosity.

[Little32]

^^We are not trying to enforce a uniformity. From reading this thread, it sounds as though NPHC fraternities have a different edict concerning discussions of membership via the internet. If that is the case, run with it. But as Soror AKA_Monet and ladygreek have pointed out, that is not the case with NPHC sororities. We have particular protocols to follow too, and they will be followed in our specific forums and by our members, whether that makes us seem insular, secretive, or whatever.

Also, I think that PhDiva's point stands. If aspirants come here, read the POW (or comparable TOS for each forum), it immediately becomes clear what kinds of questions will or will not be entertained in those forums. Regardless of whether this is the "real world" or not, it is just plain frustrating when we say again and again that we will not answer membership questions and aspirants again and again post them. Those same aspirants learn valuable lessons about how to display their interest in the real world by the responses they receive here. At the same time, as PhDiva pointed out, that does not preclude aspirants from seeking advice privately, and it is to each members discretion as to how they handle those private messages.

[Wolfman]

Originally Posted by Little32

^^We are not trying to enforce a uniformity. From reading this thread, it sounds as though NPHC fraternities have a different edict concerning discussions of membership via the internet. If that is the case, run with it. But as Soror AKA_Monet and ladygreek have pointed out, that is not the case with NPHC sororities. We have particular protocols to follow too, and they will be followed in our specific forums and by our members, whether that makes us seem insular, secretive, or whatever.

Also, I think that PhDiva's point stands. If aspirants come here, read the POW (or comparable TOS for each forum), it immediately becomes clear what kinds of questions will or will not be entertained in those forums. Regardless of whether this is the "real world" or not, it is just plain frustrating when we say again and again that we will not answer membership questions and aspirants again and again post them. Those same aspirants learn valuable lessons about how to display their interest in the real world by the responses they receive here. At the same time, as PhDiva pointed out, that does not preclude aspirants from seeking advice privately, and it is to each members discretion as to how they handle those private messages.

Non. It's more about the "how" and not so much the "what," thus the note of the defensiveness issue in the original post. In this forum there is the dialectic of post, response, surresponse...til people get satisfactory understanding, direction, drop the matter or action has to be taken by a moderator.This is the "self-correcting" factor in this forum, besides the basic rules. And intake questions were only a part of the issue raised in the initial post of this thread.In my reading, it was the global sense of the insularity and secrecy that was addressed, and which does resonate with me. There is plenty of bombast and immaturity expressed in the tone of some of the NPHC posts on GC.The way "stuff" is handled in some quarters today is that one of the dialogue partners would discover grass stains on their clothes after they've been body slammed on the ground. Then the happy dialogue continues.That's the real world in Greekdom, unfortunately!

[PhDiva]

Originally Posted by Wolfman

Thank you for your wisdom and discretion but a central fact that needs to be considered in this forum GC is this: it is NOT the "real world." Nor should it be. People come here evidently b/c they feel they can voice their opinions and interact with and ask questions of those people in organizations they don't have access to or may not feel comfortable in doing so in the "real world." That's the point--and the genius of GC. The fact that we have these tete-a-tetes should be seen as the fulfillment of the goal of a real type of community, where you have a real diversity of people according to Greek affiliation, ethnic/racial group, Greek councils, geographic location,vocation, age, life and Greek experience, political affiliation, sexual orientation and religious commitment. Basically,you don't find this type of interaction in the real world! It's refreshing and gives me hope! If it's messy and frustrating at times, then so be it. This is a healthy alternative to Greeks and non-Greeks being reinforced with all kinds of prejudiced and preconceived notions about other Greeks, and harboring ways of thinking that don't consider other's opinions and how other organzations operate,etc. b/c they are only interacting with like-minded people whom they feel comfortable with or have a particular Greek council affiliation with.

Until we can get ourselves together off line and accomplish this in the "real world," we should not try to enforce a type of uniformity of engagement on GC. Our experiences are different! If I would err, I would err on the side of generosity.

Sorry for the delayed response to this. Wolfman, I do understand and agree with your perspective about Greeks needing to be, if anything, more polite with non-Greeks so as to not generate more negative stereotypes about our organizations and the people who join them (I had a very negative experience with a NPHC sorority as an undergrad that *could* have made me scorn the
D9 and everything Greek related had I not grown up and figured out that one person doesn't represent the entire NPHC - so I do get the ultimate point of your post).

But I am speaking about social interaction skills that folks in general seem to be lacking. When you meet a new group of people, we all tend to (or at least should) listen and gauge the tone of the group, lest we might make a complete jackass out of ourselves in front of a new group. That was the point of my post. Beyond discretion is learning how to sit back and take it all in before you jump into a community. This is a basic communication skill that the internet has prevented alot of people from really learning and putting into practice.