Letters of Ref,help needed

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Our form has a box to check that says "I do not personally know this woman, but she was refered by a trusted source".

I don't consider GC a "trusted scource".

Nor do I, but I wouldn't think that checking that box is what's meant by info. only, right? Or is it?

See, I'm not really selfless and nice enough to open myself up to writing a bunch of recs for people who I don't know at all and don't even know people who know. (I do write them in my community, and I'd offer to help chapters find them, but I'm not opening myself up to working for random strangers, sorry OP.) But if such a selfless person really did exist, I've got no problem with her figuring out how to do the info. only rec, or maybe more likely, using the sister search to find a person who might know her in her hometown. As so many creepy people here have apparently demonstrated, it's easier to find people in RL than we want to admit. And you could use that power for good, if you were willing.

[AlphaFrog]

Yes, it's pretty much Info only. It's meant for if your sister's best friend's daughter (for example) needs a Rec, and you're the only person she has a connection to, but you've never met the girl before. I would consider that a "Trusted scource".

[katestar]

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by katestar

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

If you're desperate for recs, I would suggest contacting Alumnae Panhellenics or former teachers/relatives/parents' friends. That seems to be the route that most PNMs take on here from what I've read. The problem with asking for recs on GC is that how do you know that people are who they say they are? What's stopping some psycho from registering a new name, saying they're an Alpha Chi Omega alumna, and pm'ing you saying that they could write you a rec, and voila! you just gave out all your information to a total stranger on the internet.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by katestar

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

You're not? Because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Also, that little key to the left of the "Enter"...that's the apostrophe key...aquaint yourself with it.

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

You're not? Because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Also, that little key to the left of the "Enter"...that's the apostrophe key...aquaint yourself with it.

Okay, you need to learn how to quit being such a snot.

If you're going to rip PNMs a new one for not knowing how to use the g-ddamn apostrophe key, maybe you should learn how to spell "ACQUAINT" first. While you're at it..."spesific" is spelled "specific".

It's okay if you leave a nice post here and there. Or here's an idea...how's about refraining from leaving obnoxious comments? Everybody will know you're still annoying.

The PNM's already stated that she's erred in her ways. What else do you want?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by OTW

The PNM's already stated that she's erred in her ways. What else do you want?

She may have stated it, but that hasn't stopped her from continuing to persue it.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by katestar

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

I'm glad you understand that we're not picking on you at all. If you want to ask GCers for recommendation help, that's fine. Honestly MOST of the people on this site are nice and would be willing to help you (not neccessarily write them for you, but would help you locate someone at least). We were just trying to let you know that there are some people on this site who are not as nice as they are.

[owlie33]

oh.... wow.

2 Questions -- isn't it to the chapter's benefit to have info on every girl going through recruitment? Wouldn't this help the chapter target PNMs and get to know them before recruitment?

Why not just point the PNM in the right direction, where she can meet an alumna?

[squirrely girl]

soapbox time...

i may not always agree with OTW here on GC, but dear lord i agree. can we please stop harassing the incoming freshmen already? i can't even begin to imagine how horrified i might have been if GC had been my only source for information about greek life and recruitment. in many ways i'm relieved i never had to deal with the bull$hit on this site while i was going through recruitment.

just give the information or insight and move on. they'll either 'get it' or they won't. enough said.

and just a thought, if people being snarky and rude to you on GC still doesn't help you to 'get a clue', then what makes you think that being snarky to others is ANY MORE EFFECTIVE?! just stop.

pursue...

Originally Posted by squirrely girl

pursue...

Thank you, sister.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by squirrely girl

soapbox time...

i may not always agree with OTW here on GC, but dear lord i agree. can we please stop harassing the incoming freshmen already? i can't even begin to imagine how horrified i might have been if GC had been my only source for information about greek life and recruitment. in many ways i'm relieved i never had to deal with the bull$hit on this site while i was going through recruitment.

just give the information or insight and move on. they'll either 'get it' or they won't. enough said.

and just a thought, if people being snarky and rude to you on GC still doesn't help you to 'get a clue', then what makes you think that being snarky to others is ANY MORE EFFECTIVE?! just stop.

pursue...

Amen. And FYI, by being snarky you are giving naieve PNMs a bad vibe about your organization and sororities in general.

[indygphib]

Originally Posted by squirrely girl

soapbox time...

i may not always agree with OTW here on GC, but dear lord i agree. can we please stop harassing the incoming freshmen already? i can't even begin to imagine how horrified i might have been if GC had been my only source for information about greek life and recruitment. in many ways i'm relieved i never had to deal with the bull$hit on this site while i was going through recruitment.

just give the information or insight and move on. they'll either 'get it' or they won't. enough said.

and just a thought, if people being snarky and rude to you on GC still doesn't help you to 'get a clue', then what makes you think that being snarky to others is ANY MORE EFFECTIVE?! just stop.

Well said.

pursue...

Even better.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by squirrely girl

soapbox time...

i may not always agree with OTW here on GC, but dear lord i agree. can we please stop harassing the incoming freshmen already? i can't even begin to imagine how horrified i might have been if GC had been my only source for information about greek life and recruitment. in many ways i'm relieved i never had to deal with the bull$hit on this site while i was going through recruitment.

just give the information or insight and move on. they'll either 'get it' or they won't. enough said.

and just a thought, if people being snarky and rude to you on GC still doesn't help you to 'get a clue', then what makes you think that being snarky to others is ANY MORE EFFECTIVE?! just stop.

pursue...

Yes, and I think it could apply generally not just with college freshmen.

(I do think telling a PNM something that she might not want to hear politely is different that harassing the new people, but I'm with your overall point completely. And I think one of the nice things about the OP of this thread is her receptiveness to acting on what she was advised in her previous thread.)

As far a recs on everyone being beneficial, it is true that it would be helpful, but only if you could be sure that the information in the recs was accurate. When you are writing recs on people you don't know at all, it's no more helpful than what the PNM would have put in her recruitment application.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by owlie33

2 Questions -- isn't it to the chapter's benefit to have info on every girl going through recruitment? Wouldn't this help the chapter target PNMs and get to know them before recruitment?

Many chapters and Greek systems do not use recs at all. Some don't even have basic info (i.e. grades, class year etc) until rush actually commences as the women can keep signing up until the day rush starts. Plus, it's hard to "get to know" someone just through an info-only rec.

The posters who have been here for a while have been burned sometimes with trying to help people. Nancy Newbie might not see anything wrong with writing some nice girl on the internet a rec, or sending her to an alum, but the point is - she knows NOTHING about this person unless she's met her. I would hate to send someone a note saying "please help this girl" only to hear later she went through rush and was a total freakazoid.

The OP was told to go to family, friends etc - she came back 2 days later and said she had "exhausted all her personal resources." Take that as you will.