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pref round
The next day our rho chis said they would call us between 8-9 if we didn’t get an invitation and if we did we could pick them up at 10. I slept in so when my roommate woke me up to go get our invitations I flipped out because I wasn’t sure if someone had tried to call. She said she had been up since 6am (she was a runner) and neither our dorm phone nor my cell had rung. I thought maybe they came by and knocked but she said she was sure they hadn’t. Still I wondered if I would get there and they would say “well we tried to tell you not to come but…”
So I jumped out of bed, threw on a tshirt and shorts, and sprinted over to meet our Rho Chis. They handed me my invitation and I had been invited to
Marseille
Giverny
No Bordeaux. Despite feeling so insecure at their party they were still my first choice and I wanted to be in their house so badly. Even though I wasn’t like them, I desperately wanted to be like them! I thought it was so unfair that they wouldn’t even give me a chance. I saw my social future in college slipping away. It was all too overwhelming to think about. My Rho Chi saw that I was upset and asked if I wanted to talk but I was angry at her because at the time I was convinced she was a Bordeaux and thought the Rho Chis were passing information back and forth between their sororities. Even though in my heart I knew that I wouldn’t fit in with the Bordeauxs I wasn’t prepared to be cut like I had been with Lyon. Bordeaux’s rejection just confirmed my insecurities that I wasn’t fun enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, and would just never be the girl I wanted to be.
I was excited that at least I had a chance at Marseille but that feeling was completely drowned by the disappointment of not getting Bordeaux. I accepted both my invitations and tried to get out of there as fast as possible because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back my tears if I saw tons of happy PNMs around me. My roommate caught up with me and asked if I was ok since I had booked it out of there pretty fast and I told her I had been cut by Bordeaux. She tried to comfort me but I felt like she couldn’t understand what I was feeling. She seemed perfect in every way and had everything I wanted. She was never cut once during rush and would be attending pref at her top two choices from day one, Lyon and Bordeaux.
I wanted to be in a sorority so badly that dropping out never even crossed my mind. I just hoped I would get Marseille. All of my quad mates and friends from my hall had dropped Giverny and I didn’t want to be the only one who ended up there. Although Marseille’s reputation was a bit shady I still thought it was better than being called a nerd by the fraternity guys.
That night I wore a coppery brown cocktail dress. When we went to the row I was so insanely jealous of the girls lined up in front of Bordeaux that I almost started crying again. My heart really wasn’t in it that night so both parties I attended were a blur.
First was Marseille. They were all wearing black dresses and the house was very elegant. I was paired with one of the riders from the first night but this conversation didn't come as easily since we weren't talking about horses. She talked about what she had gotten out of the sorority and why she thought I would be a good fit. I was flattered and even though I was still heartbroken over Bordeaux I felt like this would be the next best thing. I don’t remember much about the ceremony other than just hoping they would give me a bid.
Next was Giverny. The house was beautifully decorated in tulle, flowers, and twinkling lights all over the walls and ceiling. I had never met the girl I was paired with so we made the usual small talk. We didn’t have much in common so the conversation was a little forced. I remember looking around at the other PNMs and thinking they all looked like they were having a great time and like they really wanted to be there. I tried to psych myself up by looking around at all my potential pledge sisters having a great time at the party but I just couldn’t get into it. Again I don’t remember much about the ceremony other than being given a candle to hold and thinking “I hope I can blow this out soon because the hot wax is going to burn me.” At one point I got something in my eye, and when I went to rub it I got something else in my eye and it was burning and watering like crazy. My rusher thought that I was crying because I was so moved by the ceremony and said “don’t worry, I cried during this party when I rushed also!” Awkward…
I left the row feeling underwhelmed and signed my bid card. I ranked them
Marseille
Giverny
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