Yet another retro recruitment!

[LegallyBrunette]

Originally Posted by kelcaopi

I had liked Giverny much more than Lyon but Lyon was just so much more elite than Giverny and I was definitely concerned with prestige. So what’s an insecure freshman trying to make a name for herself supposed to do?

Ohhh, do I see a lesson for PNMs on the horizon?



I'm pulling for Marseille.

Tld, I'm totally verklempt that my quote is in your signature. Special

[tld221]

Originally Posted by LegallyBrunette

Tld, I'm totally verklempt that my quote is in your signature. Special

awww :: blushes through cocoa-brown skin ::

[kelcaopi]

The next day our rho chis said they would call us between 8-9 if we didn’t get an invitation and if we did we could pick them up at 10. I slept in so when my roommate woke me up to go get our invitations I flipped out because I wasn’t sure if someone had tried to call. She said she had been up since 6am (she was a runner) and neither our dorm phone nor my cell had rung. I thought maybe they came by and knocked but she said she was sure they hadn’t. Still I wondered if I would get there and they would say “well we tried to tell you not to come but…”

So I jumped out of bed, threw on a tshirt and shorts, and sprinted over to meet our Rho Chis. They handed me my invitation and I had been invited to

Marseille
Giverny

No Bordeaux. Despite feeling so insecure at their party they were still my first choice and I wanted to be in their house so badly. Even though I wasn’t like them, I desperately wanted to be like them! I thought it was so unfair that they wouldn’t even give me a chance. I saw my social future in college slipping away. It was all too overwhelming to think about. My Rho Chi saw that I was upset and asked if I wanted to talk but I was angry at her because at the time I was convinced she was a Bordeaux and thought the Rho Chis were passing information back and forth between their sororities. Even though in my heart I knew that I wouldn’t fit in with the Bordeauxs I wasn’t prepared to be cut like I had been with Lyon. Bordeaux’s rejection just confirmed my insecurities that I wasn’t fun enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, and would just never be the girl I wanted to be.

I was excited that at least I had a chance at Marseille but that feeling was completely drowned by the disappointment of not getting Bordeaux. I accepted both my invitations and tried to get out of there as fast as possible because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back my tears if I saw tons of happy PNMs around me. My roommate caught up with me and asked if I was ok since I had booked it out of there pretty fast and I told her I had been cut by Bordeaux. She tried to comfort me but I felt like she couldn’t understand what I was feeling. She seemed perfect in every way and had everything I wanted. She was never cut once during rush and would be attending pref at her top two choices from day one, Lyon and Bordeaux.

I wanted to be in a sorority so badly that dropping out never even crossed my mind. I just hoped I would get Marseille. All of my quad mates and friends from my hall had dropped Giverny and I didn’t want to be the only one who ended up there. Although Marseille’s reputation was a bit shady I still thought it was better than being called a nerd by the fraternity guys.

That night I wore a coppery brown cocktail dress. When we went to the row I was so insanely jealous of the girls lined up in front of Bordeaux that I almost started crying again. My heart really wasn’t in it that night so both parties I attended were a blur.

First was Marseille. They were all wearing black dresses and the house was very elegant. I was paired with one of the riders from the first night but this conversation didn't come as easily since we weren't talking about horses. She talked about what she had gotten out of the sorority and why she thought I would be a good fit. I was flattered and even though I was still heartbroken over Bordeaux I felt like this would be the next best thing. I don’t remember much about the ceremony other than just hoping they would give me a bid.

Next was Giverny. The house was beautifully decorated in tulle, flowers, and twinkling lights all over the walls and ceiling. I had never met the girl I was paired with so we made the usual small talk. We didn’t have much in common so the conversation was a little forced. I remember looking around at the other PNMs and thinking they all looked like they were having a great time and like they really wanted to be there. I tried to psych myself up by looking around at all my potential pledge sisters having a great time at the party but I just couldn’t get into it. Again I don’t remember much about the ceremony other than being given a candle to hold and thinking “I hope I can blow this out soon because the hot wax is going to burn me.” At one point I got something in my eye, and when I went to rub it I got something else in my eye and it was burning and watering like crazy. My rusher thought that I was crying because I was so moved by the ceremony and said “don’t worry, I cried during this party when I rushed also!” Awkward…

I left the row feeling underwhelmed and signed my bid card. I ranked them
Marseille
Giverny

[tinydancer16]

eep! I'm on pins and needles and am very unsure about where you end up...

[Ocalagirl]

Originally Posted by tinydancer16

eep! I'm on pins and needles and am very unsure about where you end up...

me too.

[howtheSunrose]

Great thread. I want another update, hehe!

[anygreekmom]

I really like how you're telling about your honest feelings. I think a lot of PNMs feel EXACTLY what you're feeling...good for you!

[kelcaopi]

Everyone said you would get the feeling in the house where you belonged but I didn’t really get that feeling in either house. My quad mates were so excited about their #1 houses but I knew better than to get my hopes up. I had enjoyed Marseille but hadn’t really connected with anyone. I felt like they would be fine since Bordeaux was out of the running but I was disappointed that I hadn’t been the one to make that call. And with Giverny, there was no doubt that they were nice girls but I wasn't sure if it was for me. Of all the girls I met that week Caroline stood out more than anyone else but I was hesitant to join a sorority because I liked one girl in it. The more I thought about pref the more turned off I got, I started to feel like the girl had been pretty rude to me. And why hadn't Caroline or even the girl from the first day with the southern accent picked me up? I was pretty dissapointed that I hadn’t had the kind of rush where I got to be the one to drop houses. To me it seemed like I was being shoved in a house that might be right for me or it might not be but I didn’t have any say in the matter.

Our Rho Chis said they would call between 10-11 if we didn’t get a bid. When nobody in my quad got the call we all breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I went to eat lunch with my roommate in the student unition that day. Of course the topic of discussion was bid day. We were eating with a couple of fraternity guys that we had befriended earlier in the week and they were trying to guess which house we would be in. I still remember them saying to my roommate “you’re definitely a Lyon” and she was so excited because that had been her first choice. When I asked about me they thought for a minute then said “probably Giverny.” I asked why they thought that and they said “You just have that personality." What did they know anyway?

At 2:00 we went to get our bids. They did a little ceremony and we all took the panhellenic oath but nobody was listening because we just wanted to know where we were going. The entire time our Rho Chis were hanging out the window of a building waving the invitations. Finally they opened the doors to the building and we all went stampeding in to find our Rho Chis. They gave us our envelopes and I tore mine open. It said:

The sisters of Giverny cordially invite you to become a member.

I was heartbroken and the tears started flowing up so fast that I didn’t even have time to hide them…

[LOVEinZTA]

UPDATE AGAIN!

We're so needy, haha.

[tld221]

YES i was RIGHT!

but oh no... you dont want them? dayum...

more info!!!

[AnatraAmore]

Don't leave us hanging now! Update!

[AlwaysSAI]

Look on the bright side, at least you got a bid. I'm sure there were at least one or two women that were not offered a bid anywhere.

UPDATE! UPDATE!

I MUST KNOW NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kelcaopi]

Ok next update. It would have been sooner but some scum of life broke into my car last night so I've been talking to the police all morning

So I had just opened my bid card and I was standing there crying. My Rho Chi asked if I was ok and I completely ignored her and turned and walked out of the room. Even though I had a very strong feeling that this would be the outcome, actually seeing it in writing was like a huge punch in the gut. I stood in the hall frozen. Everyone else was jumping and hugging and squealing and I just felt like an outsider. I thought about just going back to my room but I really didn’t want to be rude to the girls at Giverny because they didn’t deserve that. My other Rho Chi came out in the hall to see where I had gone and I asked her if it was possible that there was a mistake and that I should be in Marseille. She gave me a pitying look and said no but that I should be happy because I got a bid from a great house. I think she knew immediately that just saying that wouldn’t be enough to convince me as I was still sobbing uncontrollably. She told me that even though they weren’t my first choice she knew that I’d grow to love them. She also said something that I later found to be very true, which was how it was hard to know a house after just one week of rush parties and that the house’s true colors would come out after bid day. I asked her why I had been cut by Marseille and especially Bordeaux. She said there could be tons of reasons, in the case of Marseille it might have just been a numbers issue but with Bordeaux for whatever reason they didn’t think I’d be happy in their house. I still remember those exact words because I wanted to scream “I’M THE ONE WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHAT HOUSE I’LL BE HAPPY IN, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!” I just couldn’t get over how unfair it all was.

But then I realized there were a lot of people staring at me standing there crying and I definitely didn’t want them to take pity on me. Maybe if I at least pretended like this is what I wanted people wouldn’t think I was a loser. I put on the most stoic look as I could, told my Rho Chi I would go to bid day, and ran to join my new sisters.

Caroline came running out to meet me and gave me a huge hug and almost knocked me over. She said “I heard that you were preffing Marseille and I was so scared you would choose them over us! I’m so excited you’re here!” I felt pretty guilty for lying but I said “yeah, I really liked Giverny. I’m really happy.”

I was showered with gifts and hugs all day but never got over my crappy feeling. When I went back to my room none of my quad mates were there and I figured they were all out celebrating with their new sisters. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Over the next week we had several parties with the fraternities, sisterhood events, and new member meetings. I thought they were fun and liked the girls in my pledge class but still desperately wished I could be a Bordeaux or Marseille. In hindsight those first few days I don't even think I gave the girls a fair chance because all I could think about was what the girls in Bordeaux and Marseille were doing. Every time I’d see someone from my hall with their bid day tshirts or bags from any of the other groups I couldn’t help but ask myself what they had that I didn’t that made the houses like them. I wondered what I had done wrong, and the fact that I didn’t even know what went wrong made me even more self-conscious than I had been before rush started.

I knew I could never get over losing out on Bordeaux or Marseille so I made the decision to drop out and rush again the next year.


I'll finish up the story this afternoon or tonight depending on when I have time to get my thoughts together enough to wrap it up!

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by LegallyBrunette

Tld, I'm totally verklempt that my quote is in your signature. Special

Oh, Whatevs. Tld changes her siggy like every 5 secs.

hehe

I <3 you, really I do.

[kelcaopi]

Originally Posted by LegallyBrunette

Ohhh, do I see a lesson for PNMs on the horizon?

I think you might!

I'll keep this thread moving because I'm impatient and hate waiting for updates! So as you remember all anyone could talk about was how much they loved Bordeaux and Lyon. I had convinced myself that all I wanted was Bordeaux also. Some people on my hall had Marseille as their top choice but most saw them as a fall back if they didn't get into Bordeaux. They were very similar houses but like I said there had been some things that had happened with Marseille the year before that us freshman were not really filled in on. Nobody seemed to want Giverny. On Tuesday of that week we got to see who invited us back.

I got my invitations and was invited back to:
Bordeaux
Marseille
Giverny

I was so happy! I pretty much knew I would get cut by Lyon so I really wasn’t surprised. It stung a little since that was my first taste of getting cut but I had assumed I'd be cut from them before rush even started. Plus it made my decision for the 3 houses I would go back to a lot easier and deep down I was relieved that I would get to go back to Giverny because I did like them and I didn’t have to force conversation with Lyon.

Today was philanthropy day. We were given tshirts to wear and I paired it with a skirt and sandals.

First we went to Marseille. Their craft was picture frames and I’m a very crafty person so I really enjoyed it! The other actives and PNMs at my table were talking about how silly it was to be making a craft and how it was like being in preschool, so even though I was thoroughly impressed with my picture frame I acted nonchalant about itand made a few comments about how it wasn't very good, which was a total lie because it was amazing. We sat at a large round table with a bunch of other PNMs and actives. The girl I was paired with was pleasant and we had a good conversation but didn’t really hit it off. We were at a table with several other actives and PNMs so the conversation flowed between everyone well. I heard from a PNM whose sister had rushed at our school that at Marseille they would give us drinks and the color straw we got signified how much they liked us. For example they would give blue straws to all the girls they really wanted, and red straws to the girls they were lukewarm about. They brought me my drink and it had a yellow straw. I wondered what the meant so I looked around my table and noticed that all but one PNM at my table had a yellow straw. The one girl with a green straw was gorgeous and I suddenly got really nervous that it meant that the yellow straws were bad. But then when I looked at another table I noticed that none of them had yellow, some had green, but then others had red. I didn’t know there were three categories of straws! Finally I told myself that the straws probably didn’t mean anything although I wasn’t totally convinced that yellow was the cut group.

Next was Giverny. We made flowers out of lollipops by cutting out construction paper in the shape of petals and gluing them on the wrapped lollies. There wasn’t too much skill involved with this, especially because some of the other actives at the table were helping with the cutting so that took all of 2 minutes. So after I got my petals cut out and glued on I was kind of confused about what else I was supposed to do. I noticed some other girls had crayons but I didn’t have any and felt stupid asking them to pass them over so I awkwardly gave my pitiful looking lolly-flower to an active collecting the craft and hoped they weren’t judging me on my art skills. I was paired with one of the girls that I met before rush started, Caroline, and felt like we had been friends forever. We had a great conversation which made up for the lame craft. I really enjoyed her because she was the first person I met in Giverny that fit the idea in my head of who I wanted to be. She was beautiful with platinum blonde hair and just very well put together. She was dating a guy who was in one of the best fraternities on campus and she was just very outgoing but not in an overwhelming way. But she was also brilliant and did several activities that were way out of the norm for what I expected of a sorority girl. I was just so intrigued by her and thought that if she chose to be in Giverny then clearly they weren't a bad house at all. Even though I liked most of the girls I met at the other houses, this was the one house where I didn’t feel like I was being judged and since I was so nervous and insecure I really appreciated the relaxed atmosphere.

Last was Bordeaux. We made placemats. Again I loved all the girls that I talked to but I was still super self-conscious at this party. I felt like I had to turn on the charm to impress them and I realized that almost all of the PNMs loved them so I had major competition. Other than the fact that I was blonde I didn’t have much else in common with them. I enjoyed going out but wasn’t a crazy partier and I felt like I couldn’t really relate to them when they talked about boys and crazy things they had done. I loved the idea of being a Bordeaux and being surrounded by gorgeous people and always being the life of the party, but as much as I refused to admit it I knew deep down that I wouldn’t fit in here.

So after this party I was more confused than ever. I was convinced that I had come off incredibly awkward at every house and I went back to my room practically in tears. I had pretty much taken Giverny for granted but after meeting Caroline I started to think that maybe they were out of my league also. My quad mates asked what was the matter and I said I just knew I was going to be cut. None of them understood what I was talking about since I had gotten invited back to three houses that day but I knew that the jig was up and all the sororities had realized how awkward I really was. I asked them if I could go to parties with them and their sorority sisters after they got bids and I didn’t. Trying to make me feel better they all said they would. They decided to cheer me up and take my mind off of sororities so we stuffed ourselves with Taco Bell and watched chick flicks all night.