Speaking as a wife whose husband is not much of a help in the kitchen(except for the occasional steak on the grill, and the cheese enchiladas I taught him to make) I can pretty much guarantee you that your wife will be happy with just about anything that you cook. When my husband cooks, it could be chili dogs and I would be thrilled. If you lived closer I'd invite you over and teach you to make something mildly impressive, but since you are far away here is what I suggest:
1. Get a bag of salad from the grocery store with all of the stuff already in the bag i.e. Caesar Salad. Don't put the dressing on until right before you eat, or else the lettuce gets wilted and gross.
2. Spaghetti with meat sauce is easy. follow instructions above - essentially brown the meat, drain the grease, add the sauce.You can even cut up some veggies and saute them and add to the sauce. It makes for a nicer sauce that seems more homemade Don't over cook the spaghetti, al dente is a good thing.
2a. You could also do linguine with a lemony garlic shrimp too. Super easy. I'll give you a recipe...it's a bit lighter than spaghetti and meat sauce as well.
3. If you want to do an easy dessert, get a box of brownie mix from the store, make them (follow the recipe on the box, it's not hard you usually need eggs, vegetable oil, and maybe some water) and get a pint of vanilla ice cream. Warm brownies and ice cream are a nice easy dessert.
4. Get a bottle of wine, some flowers (my husband gets me flowers when I go away and it's always nice to come home to flowers), and maybe put on a good CD.
I also encourage Rotisserie chickens from the grocery store, salad, and maybe some rice from a box. If you can read, you can make rice. Maybe I should have my husband read this thread.
Kevin - let me know if you want a more impressive pasta suggestion with shrimp. Rigatoni with butternut squash sauce and shrimp is great. You can test it out on yourself first, and if it sucks go for the easier stuff.
I know it sounds dumb, but you can also check out a betty crocker kids cookbook...I got my first cookbook at 5.