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Originally Posted by soda
thats cool, i guess i might not have "gotten it" exactly b/c ive never been in one but i def. see what your saying. its a good concept and i like the idea. i personally do not have biological brothers or sisters but i do have a few very very close friends which i consider my brothers ...for life and i'd hope the lifetime after this lol. i understand now a fraternity does not exist to to provide crazy drunken parties with girls running around like a girls gone wild commericial (altho thats the image the fraternities ive been to give) but rather people who you can look to, to always be there no matter what the occasion, purpose, or cause - just like a TRUE brother would. I also get that sorority girls aren't snooty in the sense that they'd say something like "i'd never date a g.d.i. I only date fraternity guys (b/c of the fact they are in a fraternity)" which is ANOTHER impression i got from the fraternities i've rushed. they told me "all the sorority chicks dig us fraternity guys b/c here's where the alchohol and partying's at." well, now i know sorority girls date GUYS not letters.
i still don't think i'm going to join one simply b/c my future to be brothers have already lied to me...by telling me crazy almost rediculous stories about girls and that being in a fraternity will get girls to be all on me. then they invite me to a stripper party...and im like whoa, ya'll need strippers? didn't you say the sorority girls were like that?
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Yeah, our brothers and sisters are like your friends you describe. Just with promises and ritual and trappings and all that, which I personally like. But no, you don't necessarily need it to have life long friends. (Obviously). The fraternities market themselves to sell, and it's probably the case that on your campus, that's what rushees want out of a fraternity. A lot of them who do join will begin to see what brotherhood is during pledgeship and definitely after initiation (though not all...some people really do just want a social club...that's life), but they GET them to join by drawing them in with girls, booze, etc.
I'm sure there ARE girls who date letters. But personally I think they are stupid. I can't see how that would be worth the trouble. A relationship can be a huge pain...I don't see how it's worth it unless you're with someone you really care about. But maybe I'm just lazy. Most girls who prefer to date fraternity guys, if they do, know that they will end up hanging out with fratnerity guys more often and, more importantly, the fraternity guys are more likely to be understanding of sorority commitments, since they have their own. Of course I WOULD date a guy who wasn't in a fraternity. But a) I hung around fraternity guys more, by default and b) it IS easier to be with a guy who is in a similar situation and therefore understands.
If it's not for you, it's not. Honestly if you aren't that into it, it's a pain in the ass. You have to be into it, really enjoy it, and put some effort into it to get enough out to make it worth it. That's my opinion, anyway, based on observation. The people who just don't REALLY want to be there end up unhappy and dropping. They've wasted their own time and ours. Sucks for both parties. Chances are, though, if you're at all interested, that there's at least one fraternity on your campus that doesn't rush based solely on naked girls (hired or no) and alcohol...and if not, chances are that they drop a lot of that act (let's be honest...not all of it...talking college guys here) once you're in. I think usually the people who take brotherhood/sisterhood seriously do tend to outnumber those that don't, and having that connection is a good thing. (Can't have your cake and eat it too...you're always going to have a few flakes). But if it just really doesn't sound like it's worth the try, don't waste your time...college only lasts so long. No point in wasting any of it.
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