Boyfriends
 

Just a quick question...

What do you all think of girls who do not come to chapter meetings because they want to spend time with their boyfriends....or girls who give you an availability that goes around the days or nights they may spend (or want to spend) with their boyfriend?

I don't like them.

Seriously though, the sorority is a big responsibility and they should know that they have a commitment to it, but sometimes, there's only so much that you can do in a situation like this. I have a bigger problem with girls who leave the sorority because their current boyfriends don't want them to be in one.

When I was a collegian, members were allowed to miss a total of one meeting for personal reasons. Each time she missed a meeting thereafter, she'd have to write a letter stating why she missed a meeting. EC would then vote on whether to accept or reject the letter -- and then take any action necessary, usually a fine. Missing recruitment events/Ritual incurred the heaviest fine. Exceptions were usually made if missing the meeting was school-related.

Seriously though, if a member's dumb enough to say "I'm not coming to a meeting/event because I'd rather spend time with my BF..." then do you really want them as a member? Why bother even being in a sorority?

^^ What she said.

Ritual and meetings have the largest fines because, well, they're most important. We give girls 2 meetings for personal reasons. Work is not an excuse. Meetings are always on the same day at the same time...schedule around. If something desperate happens, let us know. We have a 24 hr rule w/ personal days.

Fines+ standards committee/ exec council.

I think they are getting very terminated from the sorority very soon.

I don't feel like going to work b/c I want to spend time with my b/f. I wonder if my employer would go for that? ;)

They tend to be single by the next semester. Oh, and stupid too.

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Here is the deal. I don't like the fact that a girl would choose her sisters over her boyfriend. That shows that she would rather spend time with her sisters then with you. But at the same time if she makes it clear that her sorority is part of her life, her boyfriend should be understanding. If you miss a ritual or a mandatory event that is one thing, but if its just to hang out with your sisters that would bug a bf...

I agree. If these so called "boyfriends" can't understand then these girls don't need to be with them. I ditched a guy for the same thing.

I think it's sad because these are usually the type of girls who always have to have a boyfriend in order to feel validated. Anyone in college should have some good time management skills and if meetings as they should be with advance notice that's not really a good excuse. Most of my sisters have boyfriends and they all know how to plan their schedules so that this problem doesn't occur. I don't usually have this problem because I don't have an on campus boyfriend, but if he calls me I let him know I have to call him back. I think guys like it when they know that we are involved in more productive things, it's a turn on. When a girl lives and breathes for a guy it can scare the hell out of them.

I think girls with boyfriends need to prioritize. Most boyfriends worry about their girlfriends joining sororities because they feel that the sorority will take up all of the girlfriends time and separate them, and unfortunately, often this is the case. Missing pinning or initiation, some things are unacceptable. However, not going to your sororities fingerpainting committee's meeting to see your boyfriend instead is okay. I would be rather upset if my boyfriend told me that he was spending each day with his fraternity and he could only squeeze me in once a month. There needs to be a balance on both sides.

It appears I am probably one of the 'sisters' type that would be sacked. I didn't miss much, not the big ceremonies... but I ducked out of the social gatherings early, and wouldn't be one to go out with the girls after the meeting.

I started dating my boyfriend when I was still in the process of pledging to SAI, and he really didn't understand... But with him not in college, it was hard trying to balance it and explain why I wanted to do it. Eventually, it got too hard to be able to spend time with him, continuing school, being a fulltime SAI member, and working fulltime... something had to give... I am now in the 'inactive' list of members, saddly...

And yes, I do regret it sometimes, because I don't have all that many friends in school or anywhere, and I seemingly gave up on some that I shouldn't have...

I've always dated fraternity guys (not always fraternity men:o) for the simple reason that that's who I spent the most time around. But it was also good to know that they generally understood my comittments and didn't ask for extra time when I didn't have it.

I know it's important to spend time with a significant other, and it's hard to balance school, sorority, and a boyfriend. But it seems like if boyfriend is any good he'd understand. I learned the hard way in high school that trying to put all of your extra time into one boy is a bad idea. There's never a guarantee you'll be together forever and when you break up, all of your friends have gotten so tired of being blown off that they've stopped even trying to hang out with you. I'd try to be understanding, but I'd be pretty miffed. Our excuse notes go through EC to be approved or not, like OTW said...and I'm betting "I just really wanted to go see my boyfriend" would not go over well with the girls spending their extra time in EC when THEY want to see THEIR boyfriends, too.

I have a huge gripe about this whole thing.

Joining any greek organization is a huge time commitment. I don't care if it's NPC, NPHC, Phi Sig, a music org, it's a huge time commitment. During the NM period, NMs are not left in the dark about the time commitments required-at least not in SAI & Phi Sig anyway. We put certain responsibilities on our NMs so that they can get an idea of what being an initiated member entails. If a NM doesn't think she can handle the time commitment, frankly, I would rather her drop out than bring the chapter down.

Certain things do excuse an absence. Valid sickness, death in the family, school related obligations, being out of town--but wanting to spend time with your boyfriend is NOT an excuse.

My biggest gripe with this whole thing is that people want to sit there and blame their org for taking up the time that they would normally spend with a bf. I am in two greek orgs and attend two meetings every sunday that can last up to 6 hours. I work 25 hours a week as a manager for the computer labs on my campus. I spend 10 hours a week as an intern in the public school system. I take at least 15 credit hours every semester. AND GUESS WHAT, I have only every missed 1 SAI meeting since I have been initiated and 1 Phi Sig meeting since I have been initiated. I have been at every mandatory event and got my 10 points for the semester. I got top reviews at my internship and ended the semester with 3 Bs and 2 As. I also still had plenty of time left over to have quality time with a few guys I casually dated, celebrate birthdays, spend weekends in the mountains with my sister, and spent plenty of time with my friends that aren't in my orgs.

I'm not going to listen to someone who says that their org takes up too much time. It would appear to me that they are lacking in time management and productivity skills. They should have more than enough time to spend with anyone. But, that is only if they know how to time manage--and many people don't.

Still, missing a meeting because of your bf is complete bull. Get your butt up, go to your meeting and spend time with your boyfriend on Friday or Saturday, or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. It's not an excuse.