Who here knows what it's like to go without?

[MeezDiscreet]

One of my supposed friends asked me one day when we were in the 7th grade, "So what you wearing tomorrow? The brown pants?" I know I told her something good but that really hurt my feelings because I thought "If my 'FRIEND' is saying this to me, what are other people saying about me?"

I think that may have been when I truly understood my family's finances. When my mom bought that doll for me, I was young and didn't really understand. And that's what I'm thankful for--we were poor but my sister, brother and I didn't even know it.

I knew my dad didn't get up early like my mom to go to work (he had his own engineering firm that didn't really take off until about '94) but I knew he prayed A LOT, worked in the church and taught Sunday School. I can remember being young and someone asking me what my dad did for a living and I told them "He works for God."

We also thought it was fun to eat pancakes for dinner but when I got older, I realized that was because you could feed a family of 5 for at least 3 meals on a $3 box of pancake mix.

People from church or my mom's job would also give us food--especially snacks during the times when we didn't go to school like Christmas break and summer break. I just thought everyone loved us a lot. They did but when I got older, I realized that they were trying to help my parents out.

[Still BLUTANG]

i remember when i was younger my parents had one car between the two of them, this beat up old datsun. it was old and beat up for as long as i could remember. i mean, i remember us being broke down on the side of the road at age 5 and broke down in the same car at 15... LOL. they had it from the time i was in day care until about maybe 10th grade - i remember (selfishly) being glad it finally died around the time i was supposed to start learning how to drive.

i am having trouble as i type this figuring out exactly how my parents did the one car switch-off. i remember getting up in the middle of the night (JUST when i finally went to sleep) so my mom could pick up my dad from work. Then waking up early in the morning so my dad could drop my mom off at the bus stop. i guess my dad would park at the metro and ride the train TO work, and then when my mom got off she rode to the metro to pick up the car.

it hurts my heart right now just thinking about it because my parents would go out of their way to make sure i had a ride no matter where i needed to go, and they would offer a ride to my friends if they needed it... however the favor was NEVER returned. There were many days i was late to activities and the last kid picked up from school or rehersals. my parents made it a priority that i would be able to have those experiences (band, ballet, choir, etc), even though that meant they had to play this ridiculous scheduling game.

this might not seem like a huge hardship, but we lived out in the middle of the county before metro buses made convenient stops and waaay before the train stations extended out here.

[OneTimeSBX]

MeezDiscreet, i might tear up a bit too on this...

my parents made the decision to be a single income family. dad worked, mom stayed home with us (im the oldest of 3 girls). at the time i didnt understand. we wore hand me downs, ate oatmeal and drank powdered milk... mom was the most talented person ive ever met for coming up with different dishes each night to eat. we always ate as a family, never once missing a meal. sure, i was super jealous growing up, there was so much i wanted and couldnt have. they taught us early on there was no Santa, so that we wouldnt be disappointed at christmas time.

we were not quite poor, not quite broke...we never recieved any type of government assistance, we never went to school dirty or hungry. and we also never knew we had no money. my parents made sure to hide that from us and raise us comfortably, where all our necessities were met. last year i found my parents taxes from 87 and i think my dad made close to 10k. total.

i didnt appreciate it at the time, but now i know how to go without. and even though i do well for my family, my fiance was raised the same way, and we make sure not to give our daughter everything she wants. i appreciate more. i give more. i expect less and prepare for the worst. it made me better.

[MeezDiscreet]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

they taught us early on there was no Santa, so that we wouldnt be disappointed at christmas time.

<--- same here!!!

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

we were not quite poor, not quite broke...we never recieved any type of government assistance, we never went to school dirty or hungry. and we also never knew we had no money. my parents made sure to hide that from us and raise us comfortably, where all our necessities were met.

You're telling my story!!!

[OneTimeSBX]

you know, i watch these shows with these spoiled rotten people, and i cant help but feel bad for them. you just know that when times get rough, they wont be able to handle things...

[CrimsonTide4]

I definitely know what's it like to go without, moreso as a teen which is when my parents divorced and my mother had difficulty finding work.

Examples of what that was like: we shopped at the Goodwill, we were on free/reduced lunch in school, many times without cable, some utilities got turned off, Fila shoes bought at Marshall's instead of Foot Locker but I told my classmates we got them from out of town, baskets of food from the church for the holiday meals, etc.

[UrbanizdSkillz]

God knows I know what it's like to be without.

I remember coming home from school in the third grade and being evicted from my apartment. Imagine being in third grade and coming home and seeing all your possessions in the street. It was the first of four evictions in my lifetime. I've been in the middle of dead winter with no heat and literally nothing to eat. I've been without electricity or hot water for a week in the middle of fall, eating cold sandwiches and taking cold showers. I can definitely identify with the repeat outfits because I had only a few clothes. Being without a car and catching public transportation, lying about where I lived so I can "school-hop" in another county with a better education system. Living in a hotel room for months at a time. We weren't eligible for government assistance until my mother actually lost her job once for a brief period (a few months). After that, she made too much money on paper to be eligible. You name it, I just may have been through it.

What I'm thankful for is the fact that it all taught me resposibility and to be appreciative for what I do have. When God should see fit to bless me with an abundant income, I won't be one of those people who have no idea what to do with their money. Poverty makes you sad as well as wise.

But it was and always has been my early faith and relationship in Christ that sustained me. Now, I don't struggle like that anymore and I know that it's only by grace. Many people ask my mom why she never had anymore children than just me. She always responded that she couldn't afford more than one. Looking back now, I'm glad she was wise enough to make the decision.

So in short, I definitely know what it's like to go without.

[OneTimeSBX]

i did free/reduced lunch too. only back then, the regular lunch tickets were a different color than the cheaper ones. never did figure out why that was, because everyone knew by the color what type of lunch you got...

when my fiance got laid off last year 2 weeks after i had, that was the first thing i did: find out about reduced lunch for my daughter. it was 40 cents, dropped from $1.75. EVERY BIT COUNTS. we got jobs soon after, but when you end up in a situation like that? you cant panic. you cut coupons (which i hated as a child but ADORE now!), you buy off brand things...i swear we didnt have 2 ply toilet paper for the longest lol! but we survived, and didnt know the difference until we became adults.