Too fat to recruit: or, DePauw, the Sequel

kathykd2005 · #1 06-25-2007, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

I'm still close with Laura, a girl from my high school who was a couple of years older than me. She joined a sorority in college. When she was a junior, a girl went through recruitment (we'll call her Alexis) who seemed overly enthusiastic and tended to turn people away from her. Enough of my friend's chapter figured that she was just nervous about recruitment and voted to put her on the bid list. After bid day, they discovered that Alexis wasn't just acting that way because of recruitment. When she became an active, she would talk about inappropriate topics at recruitment and generally, every PNM that she talked to would not come back to Laura's chapter for the following round. After several semesters of this, she was asked to stay in the back during recruitment or not show up because PNM's were talking about her and she was hurting their recruitment efforts. Alexis was a size 16. This had nothing to do with her size.

Did they TALK to her about it, or simply decide on their own to do this? That would be the difference in the situation. If they truly cared about their sisterhood, they would have spoken to her, even offered to help her with finding better topics to discuss and which ones to stay away from--instead of shoving her in the back... Again, that's just my opinion, though.

cuteASAbug · #2 06-25-2007, 03:12 PM

All I know of this story is what I was told by my friend. However, after going through formal recruitment, I think it's fair to say that it's a stressful time for both the sororities and the PNM's and sometimes, a sorority just doesn't have enough members so that one of them can "babysit" another sister to make sure that she's not saying things that are inappropriate or scare off PNM's. It may not be the most politically correct way of doing things, but as several posters above me have stated, not all PNM's have the most politically ways of choosing a sorority.

kathykd2005 · #3 06-25-2007, 03:21 PM

But, again, as other posters have said, are the girls who choose their sorority in a flippant way the young women that will keep the sisterhood alive and thriving? Or are they the ones that will quit after a few tough recruitments, or another ridiculous reason?

33girl · #4 06-25-2007, 03:25 PM

From what I gather in the original post, this ISN'T the chapter or the chapter's prez or exec board asking this girl to stay away from rush activities...it's a national consultant. That is, it's not someone who's around these girls on a daily basis or knows what they're like in a rush situation. Therefore, it's understandable that the girl has assumed this is based on her size.

Drolefille · #5 06-25-2007, 03:31 PM

I'll freely raise my hand and say I'm not a rusher. I HATE everything that comes with rushing. So what do/did I do? The computer stuff. It worked because they talked to me and it fit both the needs of our chapter (I'd have been really really awkward rushing girls) and my needs.

But you don't just say "fat girl, stay out of the room"
That said there may indeed be more to this story. But I'm only working on what was posted.

kathykd2005 · #6 06-25-2007, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

But you don't just say "fat girl, stay out of the room"

hahhaha

And lucky me, I was always the one people asked to talk to PNMs no one else wanted to talk to, because THEY brought up inappropriate topics. I could talk my way out of a shoe; all I did was steer the conversation back to the chapter, not her.

Drolefille · #7 06-25-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

hahhaha

And lucky me, I was always the one people asked to talk to PNMs no one else wanted to talk to, because THEY brought up inappropriate topics. I could talk my way out of a shoe; all I did was steer the conversation back to the chapter, not her.

Since i didn't have to recruit, I was always a PNM during practice. I liked being "THAT" PNM to push my sisters. Better that they got it from me first than they got it from somene else. Plus they could reach out and slap me for being annoying, whereas a PNM would probably not appreciate that.

kathykd2005 · #8 06-25-2007, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Since i didn't have to recruit, I was always a PNM during practice. I liked being "THAT" PNM to push my sisters. Better that they got it from me first than they got it from somene else. Plus they could reach out and slap me for being annoying, whereas a PNM would probably not appreciate that.

I LOVED doing that... like bringing up partying and guys in practice to see what they'd say or do. Funny stuff. Memories!

CrimsonBlues · #9 06-25-2007, 03:48 PM

Yeah, everyone in my chapter loved to be the obnoxious pnm during conversation practice...we would have epidemics of everyone playing "THAT" pnm to the point that the membership chair would have to stop everything and announce that some sisters had to be nice, normal pnms!

BetteDavisEyes · #10 06-25-2007, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

I'll freely raise my hand and say I'm not a rusher. I HATE everything that comes with rushing. So what do/did I do? The computer stuff. It worked because they talked to me and it fit both the needs of our chapter (I'd have been really really awkward rushing girls) and my needs.

But you don't just say "fat girl, stay out of the room"
That said there may indeed be more to this story. But I'm only working on what was posted.

HEY! That was me too! I'm a terrific conversationalist with people I know and am comfortable with. I tend to withdraw and get shy around those I don't know. I knew going into my first and all later subsequent recruitments that my strengths lay not in conversation but in making things easier for the other girls so I would help with the computer stuff or help the alums with setting up food, decorations, etc.

And like you stated, no one ever told my size 12 ass to hide b/c they were embarrassed by me. I chose to work behind the scenes rather in front of them. It sounds like this girl wasn't given the opportunity.

kathykd2005 · #11 06-25-2007, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

I chose to work behind the scenes rather in front of them. It sounds like this girl wasn't given the opportunity.

I agree with you here, unfortunately, some chapters don't offer a whole lot of "behind the scenes" kind of jobs. As someone mentioned earlier, some chapters are so small that the only people they can afford to have in the background are the sisters that are running the show, like the Membership Chair. That is where situations like this arise, usually.