Would you date a guy that was not in a fraternity?

[soda]

I asked the question "Would you date a guy that was not in a fraternity?"

Many of you girls seem pretty nice and not so superficial...and just want to date a guy who respects you etc...which I like.

But many of you said "Well it's easier to date a Greek b/c of the time commitment etc etc"

What time commitment? The fraternities at my school don't do much beyond partying and drinking (3rd biggest party school in the nation). They claim it's oh so easy to get girls but it seems as though they are lying b/c I never see it.

I know the sororities raise money and stuff but the fraternernities raise like 250 bucks if even that...

It seems as if Greek life is more than partying (sometimes 3 times a week at my school) and drinking yet the frats have not told me anything beyond this nor do they do much else...

ive heard Greeks get good grades and do well in school etc... but all the Greeks I've talked to include GPA's of 0.7, 1.7, 1.2, and 2.3.

So...What's up?? Isn't Greek life supposed to be about partying, not remembering the last time you were sober (like 1 guy i talked to), and getting girls (or atleast lying about it).

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by soda

So...What's up?? Isn't Greek life supposed to be about partying, not remembering the last time you were sober (like 1 guy i talked to), and getting girls (or atleast lying about it).

Oh. My. God.

[AOE2AlphaPhi]

I've never dated a boy in a fraternity. I probably wouldn't date you either though. Stop trying to upset people. You have to know (or be able to figure out) that in this kind of atmosphere, the people take Greek life very seriously, and that it is not only about partying to us, if that even has anything to do with our reasons for being Greek.

[ku_theta]

No, I probably wouldn't date anyone outside of the Greek system unless it was a rare circumstance. It's a matter of common interests, you join the Greek system for a reason, and most people have the same reasons. Therefore, you are going to be around people who are very similar to you. Especially at my school, where there is such a large Greek system, there isn't really a need to venture out of it to find a guy. Also, I don't usually run into people who aren't Greek unless I'm in class, because the bars that I frequent are typically all Greek, and that's fine with me. I think it would be hard to date someone who wasn't Greek, because they don't understand half of the stuff you do. My boyfriend's school didn't rush fraternities until Spring of their freshman year, and I had already been in my sorority a whole semester. That first semester was so hard, because he just couldn't understand why I had so many meetings, and so many MANDATORY events. As soon as he joined, it became SO much easier and he was just as busy as I was. I can guarantee you that it makes life easier to both be in the Greek system, you have the same groups of friends, know the same people, and you typically have similar schedules.

[Dionysus]

No, I'm too old. But, when I was younger, I was really into Greek guys. NPHC, IFC, local, pledge, alum...it didn't matter, lol.

[SnuKnight172]

I am a Sigma Nu and I found it difficult while in school to date ladies that were not Greek.

I was a transfer student so I was a little older I had been in a commited relationship for a year prior to transferring from the JC to University. I had always wanted to be a member of a Fraternity because of the tradition and the beliefs that Fraternities embodied. I rushed in 2000 and was initiated in January 2001. By October 2001 my relationship was over (due to her not understanding my commitment to Sigma Nu and my belief that Sigma Nu would benefit both of us in the long run and that I could be a valuable member of the organization). The people there to build me back up were my brothers and the ladies that Sigma Nu associated with (many happened to be Sorority women).

By June of 2002 I had meet a great lady who is a member of Alpha Phi and we are now happily married (our 1 year anniversary was earlier this month). Both being Greek makes our lives a great deal more simple. We understand each others commitment to our organizations even as Alumni.

I am sorry I wrote such a long and drawn out response to the post.....

I do have one question for the post originator.... Why are you on GreekChat.com if you have no interest in being Greek....?

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by soda

I asked the question "Would you date a guy that was not in a fraternity?"

Many of you girls seem pretty nice and not so superficial...and just want to date a guy who respects you etc...which I like.

But many of you said "Well it's easier to date a Greek b/c of the time commitment etc etc"

What time commitment? The fraternities at my school don't do much beyond partying and drinking (3rd biggest party school in the nation).

Time commitments (study hours, philanthropy, intramural sports, campus activities, meetings, etc.) vary chapter to chapter and campus to campus. It might be best if you ask the chapter directly what the time commitments are if you are interested in rushing that chapter. They should be able to give you details.

They claim it's oh so easy to get girls but it seems as though they are lying b/c I never see it.

If you feel they are lying, (which they might be), then perhaps it would be best for you to look elsewhere.

I know the sororities raise money and stuff but the fraternernities raise like 250 bucks if even that...

It seems as if Greek life is more than partying (sometimes 3 times a week at my school) and drinking yet the frats have not told me anything beyond this nor do they do much else...

If you are interested in a specific chapter, you should ask them what they do in addition to partying.

ive heard Greeks get good grades and do well in school etc... but all the Greeks I've talked to include GPA's of 0.7, 1.7, 1.2, and 2.3.

You are correct. Greeks do get good grades. However, those that do poorly can be put on academic suspension and/or made inactive. Or perhaps asked to leave the fraternity. The same applies with the university. Academic probation or expulsion from the school.

So...What's up?? Isn't Greek life supposed to be about partying, not remembering the last time you were sober (like 1 guy i talked to), and getting girls (or atleast lying about it).

Greek life is about a lot of things. I would guess that there are chapters on your campus that do not fit the stereotypes you have written about. As such, you might want to do more research on the chapters on your campus. And ask different people (Greeks and non Greeks) about the chapters and find one that best fits you. It may be that all the chapters aren't what you want. If that is the case, then you might want to check into other organizations on your campus.

Best of luck.

[KyleMcGuire1983]

again......what's the obsession with "frats" helping your game with picking up chicks?

so odd.

[Ilaria Ame]

i absolutely, hands down, would date someone who isn't greek. i am currently, actually but i can see where dating a fraternity member would probably be easier in some ways as opposed to non-greek soley because someone who is in another GLO would have a better idea of what's going on for events and such. my current bf was with me while i pleadged, and it was really hard for him to understand why i suddenly dissapeared without an entirely accurate explanation. and he's not terribly excited that i put my sisters before him 99.9% of the time. a fraternity member would understand something like that. but i wouldn't trade thomas for the world anyway, sooo...

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by soda

I asked the question "Would you date a guy that was not in a fraternity?"

Many of you girls seem pretty nice and not so superficial...and just want to date a guy who respects you etc...which I like.

I don't think being Greek has anything to do with it. Some girls will be self respecting and want to date a guy who will treat them right. They can find those both in the Greek system and outside of it. Some will just want attention. That can be found on both sides of the fence as well. Personally I find that dating a fraternity guy is easier, because he understands why I am decorating until four in the morning during recruitment, why I have to spend Sunday nights in chapter meetings, and why I "talk Greek" all the time. I wouldn't have any issue with dating a non-Greek. It's just convenient to date one.

Originally Posted by soda

But many of you said "Well it's easier to date a Greek b/c of the time commitment etc etc"

What time commitment? The fraternities at my school don't do much beyond partying and drinking (3rd biggest party school in the nation). They claim it's oh so easy to get girls but it seems as though they are lying b/c I never see it.

You might not see it, but for chapters to survive they will follow the guidelines of their nationals. This includes, for instance, having a certain chapter GPA and individual GPA, raising a certain amount of money, recruiting a certain amount of men. I think fraternities do party a lot more than sororities, but I guarantee you that is not all that they do. If you think they put no effort into recruitment, you're wrong. They also give up time every week for chapter meetings. I'd suggest taking the time to really research fraternities before you right them off like that. As for girls, there are some girls who will hook up with a fraternity guy because he is one. Like band groupies. But they are not the majority. This is part of their selling point, I assume. They say this to attract new members, I'm sure, and also probably to boost some fragile male egos.

Originally Posted by soda

I know the sororities raise money and stuff but the fraternernities raise like 250 bucks if even that...

I doubt that. I really do.

Originally Posted by soda

It seems as if Greek life is more than partying (sometimes 3 times a week at my school) and drinking yet the frats have not told me anything beyond this nor do they do much else...

Have you really bothered to research it? Use your brain here. If you attend a major party school, this means that students, not just greeks, but students in general party a lot. Greeks MUST recruit to keep chapters open. Therefore the farternities will sell what the students are buying. That's not all that they are about. But if that's the image they need to keep their doors open, they'll do it.

Originally Posted by soda

ive heard Greeks get good grades and do well in school etc... but all the Greeks I've talked to include GPA's of 0.7, 1.7, 1.2, and 2.3.

They do. ALL the Greeks you've talked to? Really? I'm not believing that, either. National and international organization headquarters require a certain chapter GPA and certain individual GPA. Members who can't meet that are usually put on probation and generally can be terminated if they cannot bring up their grades. This is the same for entire chapters. The chapters at your school would not exist of all Greeks made those grades.

Originally Posted by soda

So...What's up?? Isn't Greek life supposed to be about partying, not remembering the last time you were sober (like 1 guy i talked to), and getting girls (or atleast lying about it).

If you DO think Greek life is all about partying, again, I suggest you put more effort into research. I'll be glad to help you, and I'm sure there's some fraternity members who would do a much better job...sororities and fraternities are not exactly alike. Greek life is about brotherhood and sisterhood and living up to founders' ideals. It's true that not every Greek understands this...or even cares. But that is what it's REALLY about.

It's a matter of informed opinion, that's all. And, for the record, I personally never really feel apologetic about the image Greeks have...I wish they didn't, but until Greeks party more than "non-Greeks"...complaints aren't real valid. College students party, in general. Greek or not.

[KSUViolet06]

I've never heard a 20-something career woman fawning over her new boyfriend because he's an XYZ. Whether your significant other is in a fraternity ceases to matter after graduation.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

If you attend a major party school, this means that students, not just greeks, but students in general party a lot.


It's a matter of informed opinion, that's all. And, for the record, I personally never really feel apologetic about the image Greeks have...I wish they didn't, but until Greeks party more than "non-Greeks"...complaints aren't real valid. College students party, in general. Greek or not.

Exactly!


As far as my opinion goes, my husband was not a fraternity member. (Actually, he didn't even attend a traditional, 4-year college.) Granted, we didn't meet until our late 20s, so fraternity vs. non-fraternity would have been a silly comparison at that point.

Though he did date a DG at University of Kentucky for the majority of her college career, before he ever met me. I guess that helps a little, because it gives him a slightly better understanding of my time commitment as an advisor, etc. since he had previous experience dating a sorority girl.

(The guys I dated while I was in college were a fairly equal mix between fraternity/non-fraternity. Possibly a slight edge to the fraternity guys, but I suppose the fact that my most serious college relationship was w/a non-fraternity guy that balances it out a little. )

[AlexMack]

I'm gonna call troll on this kid.

[elwoodpfiggs]

"So...What's up?? Isn't Greek life supposed to be about partying, not remembering the last time you were sober (like 1 guy i talked to), and getting girls (or atleast lying about it)."

Dear Soda, Kyle, and All Others:

I have been registered for a long time, and I have only posted once or twice. It is time to post again...

Soda's question is an absolutely legitimate one. What he's really asking is if the reputation of greek houses as portrayed in the media is correct. He can't be blamed for asking the question when so many greeks themselves (particuarly fraternity members, I think) perpetuate the mentality that greek houses are just places to drink and have sex.

I also understand EXACTLY what Kyle means when he writes about "deadweight" in a fraternity: people who do not join for the brotherhood and who will do as little as possible to maintain what they consider to be their ticket to unlimited partying. For many people, that is all a frat means. It is an real opportunity and honor to be given the chance to explain to somebody who is considering fraternity life what the word "fraternity" SHOULD mean...

Soda, if want to find a fraternity that will just be a place to meet girls and drink, there are certainly a lot of chapters you can go to that will be glad to have you. These guys, though, sometimes from the president right down to the pledges, have lost sight of (or maybe really never known) what the fraternity experience is all about. When I call a guy in my house "brother," I don't do it lightly. There is a bond, a trust, that comes along with a real commitment to greek life and to each other. It means 100 times more than all partying in the world. I like to think that, given the opportunity, I would lay down my life for another Kappa Sig without even thinking about it, and that he would do the same for me.

I pray that you will find a fraternity experience like this, and if you can't find one on your campus, don't pledge! Don't settle for anything less than real brotherhood. All the suprificial sex and drinking yourself into a stupor every night in the world can never begin to make up for the lack of it!

Phil
elwoodpfiggs@hotmail.com

[PhenomenalZTA]

Buttonz - weird about a GUY being obsessed with Strawberries. Are you still with him? If not I have a few sisters who might be interested!!!

Knoxstudent - To be lady like about it, G.D.I. stands for Gosh-Darned Independent, a title my husband takes pride in, for reasons unknown to me.