lil sis rush

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Great potential for cross-hazing.

I know, right?

What I don't get is NPC members, who know that hazing is forbidden in all NPC organization, going along with completing these tasks.

The last thing I'd want is for some fraternity guy telling me what to do. If my own sisters won't do it, why should anybody else?

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by OTW

I know, right?

What I don't get is NPC members, who know that hazing is forbidden in all NPC organization, going along with completing these tasks.

The last thing I'd want is for some fraternity guy telling me what to do. If my own sisters won't do it, why should anybody else?

Exactly!

Oh, and tell the judge and/or jury that it was "unofficial."

[valmypal]

i'm a grad student at my university (not the same one as my undergrad) and they do this here. It makes me so mad! Both the fraternities and sororities have bigs of the opposite sex. i think not only does it cause cross-hazing, but i've heard it breeds more rape/sexual abuse too. they know they can't do this from their nationals. they get to wear their "bigs" letters on their windbreakers, but when national consultants come, its "everybody hide your jackets!". if you can't tell your nationals about something you're doing, then wouldn't it click that what you're doing is wrong??? the greek life advisor knows about this and just lets it happen anyways.

[KSUViolet06]

.

How it works: If your guy friend is in a fraternity and you guys are good friends and hang out a lot, he says "Hey wanna be my little?" You say yes. The end. You don't really do anything special. You just get to call him "Big".

I can see why this type of thing is frowned upon, because it causes DRAMA (at least on my campus). Example:

Let's say Bobby Beta has good friends in 2 different sororities, Suzy Sigma and Amy Alpha. Bobby and Suzy start hanging out alot and he makes Suzy Sigma his "Little". Amy Alpha gets upset because she thought that she and Bobby Beta were really good friends. So she goes over to Beta one night, gets a little tipsy, and confronts Bobby Beta about not making her his "Little". Suzy Sigma jumps in to defend her "Big". Drama ensues, and Amy Alpha gets kicked out. She now hates Suzy Sigma and Bobby Beta and tells all of her sisters to never party there again. She also starts saying she hates Sigmas and will tell everyone who will listen how "stupid" they are. All this drama over a silly title.

Viola, instant drama, which is why most (if not all) NPC sororities have policies against these types of relationships.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

friends and hang out a lot, he says "Hey wanna be my little?" You say yes. The end. You don't really do anything special. You just get to call him "Big".

Hmmm...why any woman would let a man of her same age group, who is not related to her call her "lil" is beyond me.

At my alma mater, I knew of a fraternity that had "lil sisters." One of the guys once told me that they each pick girls they want to hook up with, and that's what it's based on. I later heard of numerous incidents of near-assault and actual assault of women who were "lil sisters." This org. is not campus anymore, to my knowledge.

[fhchick22]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Fraternities have sorority "littles" at my school, but it's nowhere near as big a deal as what is being described here.

How it works: If your guy friend is in a fraternity and you guys are good friends and hang out a lot, he says "Hey wanna be my little?" You say yes. The end. You don't really do anything special. You just get to call him "Big".

Thats what is done at my school. If a guy is cool big sister asks them to be her littles big bro. After you get introduced, you go out for dinner or something. The little sister has no official affiliation with the fraternity. You may get into parties easier but thats all. It really means nothing its just for fun.

[pirateladybug9]

At my school, it's generally unspoken big/lil sister/brother. I have both a little and big brother, so do other members of my chapter. It is "frowned upon" by our nationals because of the sterotypes that come along with it (for example, when my big's national consultant came, he didn't completly understand how big/little was run at our school, in other chapters, they are just drinking buddies or sex partners).
My big and I became close and he asked me to be his little one day, same goes for my little, he asked me to be his big. My big's big sis is from a totally different chapter than I am. You generally have one big sis/brother from your own chapter and one from a fraternity/sorority, then as many littles as you want/can afford. The chapter never assigns you a specific chapter to be with, let alone your big/little.
Typically, the bigs get the littles a hoodie with the LITTLE's letters on it (you can't wear another chapters letters unless you go through certain ceremonys as detailed in bylaws or ritual) and underneath it will have the big's chapter SPELLED OUT lil' bro/sis. The littles usually make a paddle. I made my big a paddle and letters, same for my little.
I love my big and little, and don't really see how the "tradition" could become so skewed like you guys describe

[KSUViolet06]

Ok. Good for you. You bought letters and a paddle for a guy.

Like I said, most NPC sororities discourage these types of relationships/programs, because it has the potential to cause drama within the sorority chapter or devolve into something completely inappropriate. Does it happen 100% of the time? Nope. But it has obviously caused enough issues for sorority HQs to decide that it's not something they'd want their members involved in.

And really, you can be close friends with a guy in a fraternity without having to call him big, buy him letters, etc.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by valmypal

i'm a grad student at my university (not the same one as my undergrad) and they do this here. It makes me so mad! Both the fraternities and sororities have bigs of the opposite sex. i think not only does it cause cross-hazing, but i've heard it breeds more rape/sexual abuse too. they know they can't do this from their nationals. they get to wear their "bigs" letters on their windbreakers, but when national consultants come, its "everybody hide your jackets!". if you can't tell your nationals about something you're doing, then wouldn't it click that what you're doing is wrong??? the greek life advisor knows about this and just lets it happen anyways.

One of my good friends went where you are. She explained the whole thing to me and I just found it SO bizarre. Especially since it seemed like she hung out with guys from a different fraternity more than those from her "brother's" fraternity. Unless the fraternity has a really truly little sister program I just don't see the point.

[LatinaAlumna]

^It can be creepy. From my observations as an undergrad (and now as an administrator), it appears that some fraternities offer "lil sis" status to primarily freshman women who really don't know the purpose of greek life yet (or else they probably would have joined a sorority).

When I was an undergrad, one fraternity that had many Latino members (but was not a LGLO) tried to get freshmen women to join their "lil sis" program by telling them that it was REQUIRED if they wanted to have a chance at joining MY sorority!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AXiD_linds

I think as long as you're not abusing the idea of it, then it promotes greek unity because you can have bigs/lils of all different fraternities/sororities supporting your house.

The problem is that some people don't know where to draw the line, so on a national level it was decided against doing it at all. Same way with hazing. There are some perfectly innocent things that now cannot be done, because people took them too far...and rather than wasting time defining down to the T (because some people need it broken down to the umpteenth extent), they just banned it all together.

Bottom line: YOU NEED TO DROP IT. You are not going to change people's minds. They're not going to say "Oh, now that you put it THAT way, breaking National rules is a-okay!".

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AXiD_linds

whoa...I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind. Don't get so upset about it. The original post asked for what people do at other campuses, so I explained how it works on OUR campus. Not saying it's done everywhere. I was just trying to provide a little insight for people.

Yes, but how many times have you already been told that it's frowned upon here? I would think you would get the hint and stop posting about it.

[fishie]

Ouch. Lets leave the poor girl alone, I don't think she meant anything by it. Right?

But to answer the original post...bigs/lils of the opposite sex are generally frowned upon and somewhere in the manuals of IFC or NPC it may ban them. I looked for you, but couldn't find them...I may not have been looking in the right place though, who knows. Okay, so, they're "banned" but schools still have them. There just aren't any titles of "I'm a little sister of this particular fraternity." But technically, yes, they're banned.

Originally Posted by fishie

Ouch. Lets leave the poor girl alone, I don't think she meant anything by it. Right?

You're quick to defend the girl because you haven't seen the posts she's been leaving in the past 2 days. Just sayin'...

After being given information that little sister programs were a no-no, she still insisted on pressing the issue. I hardly qualify that as "not meaning anything by it."

[NutBrnHair]

I remember a chapter meeting when I was an active (way back in the early 1980s) when a well-respected member of the university faculty and a Chi Omega alumna spoke to us about just this sort of thing.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

She said, don't let yourself get involved in any Big Brother Little Sister type of relationship. It is subservient. If you wish to be thought of as an equal, you will not let yourself be considered anyone's LITTLE sister.

On a related note, she asked us not to "squeel!" She said it was a high-pitched valley girl type sound that was most annoying!

This was 25 years ago. Good advice to this day, I think.