new member programs preparing you for life as an active

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

This quote in another thread got me thinking- with all of the movement to eliminate hazing in any form and to make sure that new members are never uncomfortable and are never made to do anything that's not voluntary- how well do you think your organization's new member program prepares its new members for what to expect as an active? One thing that bugs me about hazing rules is that with the exception of Phoenix and Sanctuary degrees, you pretty much can't make anything mandatory for new members without it being called hazing. However, after you're initiated, just about anything and everything is mandatory, so I don't think that does a good job of teaching new members what to expect. I would be concerned with girls pledging, getting initiated, and then becoming disgruntled or leaving the sorority once they found out that now they had to go to everything whether they liked it or not, and that they'd be fined if they didn't show up. Any thoughts?

We had a girl who became a Phi (new member) and at first it was all "oh cool she's a cool girl". She came to I THINK ONE Phi meeting. She came to initiation and during it I was so pissed, as well as some other sisters. We wanted her out because if you're not going to do as little work as come to a meeting once a week, what are you going to bring to the sorority? She brought nothing. Didn't come to regular weekly meetings, no mandatory things, no business meetings, no rituals. I was very bothered that she got in. She used some kind of family problem excuse but funny that she was going clubbing almost every night and vacationing in Cali and a bunch of other stuff.

And that's the thing.... we baby our Phis. We DO shower them with gifts and if they screw up, we can't kick them out. I believe to release them there is this big process to go through and people are too lazy to do it. I don't want to haze. I don't think we should be doing bad things to them, but 80% of the stuff that is considered hazing is ridiculous. You should make them want it, not just give them a cake walk.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

We had a girl who became a Phi (new member) and at first it was all "oh cool she's a cool girl". She came to I THINK ONE Phi meeting. She came to initiation and during it I was so pissed, as well as some other sisters. We wanted her out because if you're not going to do as little work as come to a meeting once a week, what are you going to bring to the sorority? She brought nothing.

Wow. I'm surprised that you all don't have some sort of course of action for girls like that.

Our LCs and national staff always say: You do not have to initiate anyone who doesn't meet the requirements for initiation. If a girl doesn't come to meetings (or provide valid excuses and do a make-up when she's absent), maintain her GPA, complete all of the new member activities, and pass the national exam, she does not get initiated at that time. She is given the option to be held over (and complete the new member period with the next class), but she does not get initiated with her group. Alternately, she could get pissed and depledge, and we say "good riddance."

We had two situations last semester with this. There were 2 new members who were both habitually absent. One was partying alot and not studying enough. The other would just always decide "well I live 20 minutes away from campus, that's too far for me to drive to the sorority house for meeting" or that she'd "rather be with her boyfriend." (those were her exact words)

About a week before initiation, it was pretty clear that they weren't going to be initiated. So our VP sat them both down separately to tell them. We all totally thought the Partyer was going to depledge and that Boyfriend Girl was going to go ahead and stay. Partyer cried, and said she felt bad but that she really wanted to be there and that she'd stick it out with the next group and get initiated with the next class. She is now one of the most involved younger members of the chapter with the highest GPA. Boyfriend got really mad and depledged. She actually pledged another sorority in the spring and dropping out of it too before initiation because she was leaving school to plan her wedding.

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

We had two situations last semester with this. There were 2 new members who were both habitually absent. One was partying alot and not studying enough. The other would just always decide "well I live 20 minutes away from campus, that's too far for me to drive to the sorority house for meeting" or that she'd "rather be with her boyfriend." (those were her exact words)

About a week before initiation, it was pretty clear that they weren't going to be initiated. So our VP sat them both down separately to tell them. We all totally thought the Partyer was going to depledge and that Boyfriend Girl was going to go ahead and stay. Partyer cried, and said she felt bad but that she really wanted to be there and that she'd stick it out with the next group and get initiated with the next class. She is now one of the most involved younger members of the chapter with the highest GPA.

Just curious, when something like this happens, does the girl have to go through the pinning ritual again with the following new member class?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

Just curious, when something like this happens, does the girl have to go through the pinning ritual again with the following new member class?

No she does not.