"Why Did You Decide to Join ...That?"

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I never went through rush.. I was simply recruited when Sigma Nu first came to our campus. I joined up a semester after they came on.

Why did I join? I don't think any fraternity in this state can boast more prominent members in business/government than Sigma Nu. Also, I guess it was a big deal to me that I could be a big part of starting something which was going to exist for a long time and touch many lives.

I was also philosophically against hazing -- something which at the time I would have rushed was featured in every other organization on campus.

That's different. When Sigma Nu was new to your campus, it's not like the organization was 20 years old. I don't think GLOs really question why someone would join a historical GLO, it's the new GLOs that we wonder about.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by sbx_six_eye

I have read your other posts which is why I responded in the first place. My comments regarding members of D9 organizations was to point out that many use the "why didn't you pledge alumni chapter" (just as you did in your earlier post) as if I made the wrong choice by not deciding to join any of the NPHC orgs.

You are letting people's comments affect you so personally now that you are reading too much into some things. I never suggested that you should have pledged an NPHC alumni chapter as opposed to your organization in any of my posts and I would never suggest that since I do believe that everyone has a right to join whatever they want to and for whatever reason they choose (and I stated this also in previous posts). Also, as an SGRho I can tell you that we are sometimes questioned about our choice since there are 3 NPHC sororities that came before us and there are those who STILL feel that only the first two are worth joining...and we have been in existence since 1922 with 85,000+ members. So I'm sorry but your dues will have to be paid along with everyone else's. I do understand where all of the defensiveness is coming from though since you are probably a neo and I do remember being one myself (14 years ago), but at the end of the day, this is a message board and the only thing that should matter is how you feel about your organization and what it means to you and the members. For me, it's been 14 years of answering questions about my sorority, fending off stereotypes, defending greek life and the NPHC, and on and on and on... Trust me, every seasoned member of the NPHC has paid their dues (in more ways than one and some more than others). With time you'll become more educated about greek life and you'll be able to take on anything that comes at you, in a way that will not get you so upset. I've personally found that knowing the history of my organization, the history of the D9 and other BGLO's, and the history behind the entire greek system provides me with intelligent ways to defend myself and my sorority...and you WILL have to defend yourself so get used to it. If there is anyone on this board that doesn't respect your organization currently, getting defensive and showing what some will perceive as insecurity, will not change their minds; although how you handle things might show them that you don't need their validation.

[sbx_six_eye]

This was the quote that I was referring to...

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

And there are plenty of mothers (married and otherwise) in our graduate chapters so accomodations do have to be made and their needs are taken into consideration.

These and many other statements are some of the challenges that I face when asked about SBX. This particular statement is one that a lot of us get asked the most (or we get asked why didn't you just join a support group for mothers). It was not an attempt to attack any org in particular, but I was only illustrating a few of the things that I myself and other members of SBX have faced. Maybe someone out there has a suggestion as to how to handle that type of comment?

I did not take anything personally at all (and there are no hard feelings towards anyone else...this is only the internet), and I enjoy the fact that we all will have different opinions because there is always something new to be learned. I personally am not a stranger to the greek world and the struggles that other orgs have gone through over the years (because I have done my own private and extensive research way before I decided to join any org and from personal experience)...but my organization is still a "baby" compared to the majority of others. As we grow in size and more people know about us, it never ceases to amaze me about some of the comments and questions that people come up with to ask. I'm sure we have many more to come...

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by sbx_six_eye

This was the quote that I was referring to...



These and many other statements are some of the challenges that I face when asked about SBX. This particular statement is one that a lot of us get asked the most (or we get asked why didn't you just join a support group for mothers). It was not an attempt to attack any org in particular, but I was only illustrating a few of the things that I myself and other members of SBX have faced. Maybe someone out there has a suggestion as to how to handle that type of comment?

I did not take anything personally at all (and there are no hard feelings towards anyone else...this is only the internet), and I enjoy the fact that we all will have different opinions because there is always something new to be learned. I personally am not a stranger to the greek world and the struggles that other orgs have gone through over the years (because I have done my own private and extensive research way before I decided to join any org and from personal experience)...but my organization is still a "baby" compared to the majority of others. As we grow in size and more people know about us, it never ceases to amaze me about some of the comments and questions that people come up with to ask. I'm sure we have many more to come...

That statement was in reference to your founder who is supposedly one of my sorors. I said that because to leave your sorority to start another one is no light issue or decision and IMO it should be a last resort, especially when members can work within their own organizations to head new national, regional, or local programs as long as they align with the organization's overall goals. Issues that affect mothers and children are in line with most sorority goals anyway since many of us are or will be mothers (especially at the graduate level). I know that we already have a program to support teenage mothers and their children by providing health education and parent training. Zeta Phi Beta has a Mother/Child program as well and I'm sure others do too. However, I do see the benefit in having an organization strictly dedicated to these kinds of programs and projects so I never had a problem with your existence as a whole.

As for how to respond to those who pose questions about the validity of your organization, you can simply say that you and your sorors are dedicated to the issues of mothers and children and that is your top priority, just like Sigma Gamma Rho's top priority or foundation is in educating the Black youth and our communities. There is nothing else that you have to say and you'll find that when you are definitive about your organization and what you all stand for, people will end their questions more quickly. As a rule, if you keep your defense short, people will keep their questions and comments short...no need to go back and forth on anything, and that is something that I really had to learn over the years. As for your organization as a whole, I wish you all the best.

Also, for further reading, one of the books that really helped me to be able to defend greek life (especially as it relates to BGLO's) and our purposeful existence is "African American Fraternities and Sororities: The Legacy and the Vision" by Tamara L. Brown and others. If you haven't yet read it, please do so and tell every greek member you know about it. This is a phenomenal book that doesn't simply introduce you to the D9 but also talks about the history of the entire greek system and answers or provides insight into many questions that most people want to know about why we do the things that we do. You can purchase it from amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/African-Americ...610177-4169628.

[sbx_six_eye]

Thanks for the very sound advice and I will be reading the book personally. Is there an area for discussion (something similar to a book club) anywhere on the forum? If not I think it would be a good outlet for discussion for members of any GLO.

[BlueReign]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

My question to you all not a part of the D9 (NPHC) and were founded <25 years ago, aside from snarky comments from anyone, what is with this "insecurities" about the business with your respective organizations?

I mean, really, I don't care why you joined. You thought you were "__________" (insert organization here), material. So you joined it. Now that you have, I am reading strong insecurities as to the reasons' for your organization's existence that seems projected onto us from the D9.

You ought not feel insecure if what you thought was right. However, did you all honestly think your creations would not be a long, hard fought battle of legitimacy before your precedents and peers? The constant justification of your exisitence?

Hayle, you honestly think we of the D9 are never constantly berated for our own organization's existence?

Just asking because there is more here that meets the eye and a few of us speak to other higher ups who you never know might assist you... Such as maybe a NPHC developmental program, which includes stategic planning, budget development, legal historical documents, and non-profit status with fictious names.

I really agree with your statements here. This thread should not even exist. I tried to reach out to the person who created this thread and since he continued to so post all over the place in such a ridiculous manner then forget it.

[BlueReign]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

That statement was in reference to your founder who is supposedly one of my sorors. I said that because to leave your sorority to start another one is no light issue or decision and IMO it should be a last resort, especially when members can work within their own organizations to head new national, regional, or local programs as long as they align with the organization's overall goals. Issues that affect mothers and children are in line with most sorority goals anyway since many of us are or will be mothers (especially at the graduate level). I know that we already have a program to support teenage mothers and their children by providing health education and parent training. Zeta Phi Beta has a Mother/Child program as well and I'm sure others do too. However, I do see the benefit in having an organization strictly dedicated to these kinds of programs and projects so I never had a problem with your existence as a whole.

As for how to respond to those who pose questions about the validity of your organization, you can simply say that you and your sorors are dedicated to the issues of mothers and children and that is your top priority, just like Sigma Gamma Rho's top priority or foundation is in educating the Black youth and our communities. There is nothing else that you have to say and you'll find that when you are definitive about your organization and what you all stand for, people will end their questions more quickly. As a rule, if you keep your defense short, people will keep their questions and comments short...no need to go back and forth on anything, and that is something that I really had to learn over the years. As for your organization as a whole, I wish you all the best.

Also, for further reading, one of the books that really helped me to be able to defend greek life (especially as it relates to BGLO's) and our purposeful existence is "African American Fraternities and Sororities: The Legacy and the Vision" by Tamara L. Brown and others. If you haven't yet read it, please do so and tell every greek member you know about it. This is a phenomenal book that doesn't simply introduce you to the D9 but also talks about the history of the entire greek system and answers or provides insight into many questions that most people want to know about why we do the things that we do. You can purchase it from amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/African-Americ...610177-4169628.

Very well said Soror. I have questions about Sigma Beta Xi Sorority as well. My questions are not regarding the validity of the organization but regarding programing, recruitment, expansion, etc. I'm all about anything that is good and positive and I do wish them the best.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

That's different. When Sigma Nu was new to your campus, it's not like the organization was 20 years old. I don't think GLOs really question why someone would join a historical GLO, it's the new GLOs that we wonder about.

At the time, I had never really heard of Sigma Nu. It turns out that we have one of the best alumni groups of any national organization in our state. I suppose I just got lucky there. They didn't use the organization's history to recruit me and honestly, history wasn't a huge concern of mine. I was more interested in whether or not I'd have a positive experience.

I think that's basically what most kids are looking for. Sure, there are a few who are tuned in to the prestige and history of a good national organization, but most just want to have a good time.

[KyleMcGuire1983]

Originally Posted by Kevin

At the time, I had never really heard of Sigma Nu. It turns out that we have one of the best alumni groups of any national organization in our state. I suppose I just got lucky there. They didn't use the organization's history to recruit me and honestly, history wasn't a huge concern of mine. I was more interested in whether or not I'd have a positive experience.

I think that's basically what most kids are looking for. Sure, there are a few who are tuned in to the prestige and history of a good national organization, but most just want to have a good time.

I wish Sigma Nu had strong Alumni groups in California :-(

[sbx_six_eye]

I first would like to thank both of you ladies for the well wishes and your insight. I did see where the topic of this thread was covered in another area...and debating over who exists and why will never be resolved here in this forum. Maybe my comments should have went into another thread, but I did want to share some of the experiences that I have had just to see if anyone has had similar ones or has advice on how to deal with these situations as they arise.

Personally, I have questions myself regarding event planning, expansion on a local level, etc...the list goes on. Before I just throw random things out there I will search to see what I find on the site first. Any suggestions or questions are welcome.

Originally Posted by BlueReign

Very well said Soror. I have questions about Sigma Beta Xi Sorority as well. My questions are not regarding the validity of the organization but regarding programing, recruitment, expansion, etc. I'm all about anything that is good and positive and I do wish them the best.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by sbx_six_eye

Just to respond to some of your comments...yes, I knew that by joining ANY organization I would be questioned about its existence. But what I don't appreciate is those who want to try to "pledge" me all over again about my organization. I will answer any questions (and I expect questions because that is how others will learn about who we are being that we are new and expanding to other areas), but when others try to get personal and make negative comments that is where it ends for me. There is a tendency to get defensive, but once you earn the right to wear your letters you won't let anyone that's on the outside looking in to try to make your organization look bad. If you do not want people approaching you in that way, why do it to someone else?

What do you mean by pledge? No one should be pledging anyone, period. I know you think there is all this underground and heard of plenty of stuff. But, stuff as it is. There is embellishment and exaggerations. Then, there is truths...

Basically, just like you said: by one's actions. Who cares if what someone says if by your actions your sorority is meeting what you think is a critical need?

I know many members of greek organizations of all types who face this challenge. I also know that there is great opposition from those who don't see the need for the greek system at all. I knew going in that you should expect to have both good and bad days. Most of my experiences have been very pleasant and I have built relationships with members of other orgs who have shared some of the knowledge they have gained over the years. There are some who feel that we should not exist and do not want to offer any type of help (I have been told those words personally), but I have learned that actions speak louder than words. The only thing that I can do is to keep working and focus on what I can do to make my organization better.

Like a said, you ought not feel insecure about the true mission of your sorority. If you want to be a bonafid organzation with perpetuity, you need to have governance usually by constitution and bylaws. Then you all need a strategic plan, long term and short term goals.

I say all this because many folks want superior organizations. Some say, because they couldn't make one of the D9's of their choice. So they start their own group, then wonder why everyone dislikes them when they show out with line names, numbers, and jackets.

Most of the D9 has stood the test of time by one thing only: Mission and Program. I don't know how long it takes to get the time relevancy, but I know it takes time.

As far as you all, Sigma Beta Xi. I have seen your lovely website. You have a niche unfullfilled. However, you all need structure beyond all the surface crap as line names, numbers and jackets. You are going to need a very strong program. And to get that, you need non profit status and membership enhancement. You will have an uphill battle because, how are your members, who are in college, that are college age having children? It's that bogus moral question? Your retort should not be aimed at us, squarely. It should be mothers need ________________, too. And there are other MOM sororities.

Then, it sounds like your program should be support mothers to be self-sufficient for the utmost in care for children. As a matter of fact, when you say, "Mom's support group"--then you all need to start you own, not just for your Sorority, but everywhere you can gain access to. What is it to be in the SBX Mom's Support Group or "Play Group"?

Do you have that right to do that? Most DEFINITELY!!! I love my Sorority, but we do not have anything like that...

[Texas Beta]

What's a D9?
What's a Kazo?


When you say some person joined 'online', is this in reference to an organization that is based on the internet?

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

What do you mean by pledge? No one should be pledging anyone, period.

But remember, many groups outside of the D9 still pledge the way we used to. I'm not saying SBX does, I'm just addressing the point you made.

Note: I did not include any of the other Greek councils because you all can answer for yourselves.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by Texas Beta

What's a D9?
What's a Kazo?


When you say some person joined 'online', is this in reference to an organization that is based on the internet?

D9 (Divine Nine) refers to the nine NPHC members:

Fraternities - A Phi A, K A Psi, PBS, Omega Psi Phi, and Iota Phi Theta

Sororities - S G Rho, DST, AKA and Z Phi B.



Kazo - * I think* it is another greek website like GC from what I gather from the people who post on here and Kazo.


The term 'on line' is an old term used among NPHC orgs. If refers to the pledge period. PNMs, or pledges, would have to essentially dress the same and when gathered together would have to walk in a straight line. The line was arranged by height of the individuals or by some other criteria only known to that chapter. 'On line' wrt the NPHC reference has nothing to do with the internet.

[12dn94dst]

Originally Posted by Texas Beta

What's a Kazo?

It is another message board. It used to be kassodias.com (kazo for short), but is now pledgepark.com.

As an aside, there are a lot of threads around here regarding some of what we do and how we work. If you fancy, search for NPHC.