Legacy

kddani · #1 05-14-2007, 06:16 AM

If it was done by chapter council and the alumnae advisers, how do you know the exact reason she was cut???

As you know, membership selection is private and ritual, so I'm not even going to point out more details by how this isn't a) in line with how we're supposed to do things and b) you're airing dirty laundry (yes, it's aged) that also happens to be private membership ritual information.

ForeverRoses · #2 05-14-2007, 10:10 AM

I think going through rush as a legacy can be VERY unnerving. My sister graduated the year before I started college, but her little sisters as well as lots of friends were still active and her big was an alumna in town. So when I rushed as a freshman I was getting ALOT of pressure- nightly phone calls from my sister and her big to "see how things were going" lots of "advice" during rush parties on things to say to the girls rushing me (usually from my sisters friends who would "stop by" to talk). I ended up dropping out of rush the day of prefs and I let my answering machine take all the calls.

Luckily it's not a big deal to rush as a sophmore, so when I did decide to re-rush, I decided not to tell anyone. I even left the legacy line blank on the application. I did like my sister's chapter, but I wanted to make sure they liked me for me, not because of who my sister is. I ended up joining a house other than my sister's and I knew I made the right decision the moment I walked up to the house with my bid.

AOII Angel · #3 05-14-2007, 10:20 AM

Forever Roses...that was a really good idea. I know family members don't mean to put pressure on legacies, but their happiness with the sorority doesn't always translate to the next family member. I didn't really have that option. What I finally decided was that why a chapter wanted me was immaterial. Did they know me by the end of rush? NO. You can find a friends in any group of women, and you bond with the others over your ritual and traditions. I think it's nice that some are able to recognize a feeling of belonging with a certain group, but I think a lot of women don't. I also think this is true considering how many people in this country don't get the first choice on their bid lists. They find a way to fit in and be happy.

ForeverRoses · #4 05-14-2007, 01:24 PM

I have wondered if I would have chosen my sister's org if it wasn't her org. I think part of it is when you are 18-19 years old and trying to figure out who you are, being constantly compaired to someone you are not can be very difficult.
Now if I had had a daughter (I have three boys) I would have loved for her to be an AOII, but I hope I would understand if she chose something else.

Leslie Anne · #5 05-14-2007, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

If it was done by chapter council and the alumnae advisers, how do you know the exact reason she was cut???

Just because it was done without the rest of the chapter doesn't mean we couldn't know what was done and why. Besides, how long does anything in a chapter remain a secret?

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

As you know, membership selection is private and ritual, so I'm not even going to point out more details by how this isn't a) in line with how we're supposed to do things and b) you're airing dirty laundry (yes, it's aged) that also happens to be private membership ritual information.

Actually, I've never bought the idea that MS is ritual. Private, yes...okay, fine. I'm very familiar with our ritual, it was my job in my chapter for two years. I've also studied our ritual for several years now as an alumna. MS isn't part of it. I know that people insist that it is though.

It might not have been how we we're supposed to it. I have no idea. A lot has changed over the last twenty-some-odd years. And if it wasn't the way we were supposed to do it, then I didn't reveal anything about MS. Yes, I said we would have discussed the girl. I think that every GLO does that and it goes without saying.

As for airing dirty laundry, I guess I did. I'm sorry. In the long run though, I don't think people are going to get the impression that what happened represents Kappa Delta in general. GCers are more sophisticated than that.

honeychile · #6 05-14-2007, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Just because it was done without the rest of the chapter doesn't mean we couldn't know what was done and why. Besides, how long does anything in a chapter remain a secret?

Probably much more than you'll ever realize!

I know alumnae from 10-20 years ago who have wondered what really happened behind a closed door or two!

susan314 · #7 05-14-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

As for airing dirty laundry, I guess I did. I'm sorry. In the long run though, I don't think people are going to get the impression that what happened represents Kappa Delta in general. GCers are more sophisticated than that.

I think that we all realize that a situation like that could have occurred on any campus in any of the "top" chapters - regardless of which NPC group it is. Similar situations may have occurred in any of our GLOs - maybe not in our particular chapter, but a chapter on a campus where image is a big deal. It may not be what our org's stand for nationally as a whole, but we can't control every decision made by every individual member in every individual chapter.

khfadpi · #8 05-14-2007, 10:45 PM

Well, my daughter accepted an open bid from Phi Mu at her university. I was kind of sad that she didn't go ADPi, but she is very happy and that is all I want for her. I can tell this is going to be a good experience for her. I helped her make a lot of presents for her big sister, and it was odd to be painting everything pink and white. She even got me a Phi Mu mom t-shirt!!
She is very excited and I have met several of her new sisters and they are really nice girls and I am glad she is a part of it. Its all about what you get out of it and if the sorority is a good fit for the girl. We may not be sisters, but we are both Macon Magnolias.

(I guess this shouldn't be a surprise, because she has always loved the color pink!!!)

honeychile · #9 05-14-2007, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by khfadpi

Well, my daughter accepted an open bid from Phi Mu at her university. I was kind of sad that she didn't go ADPi, but she is very happy and that is all I want for her. I can tell this is going to be a good experience for her. I helped her make a lot of presents for her big sister, and it was odd to be painting everything pink and white. She even got me a Phi Mu mom t-shirt!!
She is very excited and I have met several of her new sisters and they are really nice girls and I am glad she is a part of it. Its all about what you get out of it and if the sorority is a good fit for the girl. We may not be sisters, but we are both Macon Magnolias.

(I guess this shouldn't be a surprise, because she has always loved the color pink!!!)

(((((((((((((((((((((((((khgadpi & daughter))))))))))))))))))))))))

I have tears in my eyes for you both!!

GDIfly · #10 05-14-2007, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Actually, I've never bought the idea that MS is ritual. Private, yes...okay, fine. I'm very familiar with our ritual, it was my job in my chapter for two years. I've also studied our ritual for several years now as an alumna. MS isn't part of it. I know that people insist that it is though.

Thank you! It's always bothered me when people around here say "membership selection is ritual." It seems almost disrespectful to be throwing the word ritual around to apply to the kinds of things that go on in membership selection. From where I stand, ritual isn't just another word for 'secret' or 'private,' it refers to a specific set of very important ideas and actions, of which voting (and whatever malicious and judgemental things may or may not go on during MS) are not a part.

kddani · #11 05-15-2007, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GDIfly

Thank you! It's always bothered me when people around here say "membership selection is ritual." It seems almost disrespectful to be throwing the word ritual around to apply to the kinds of things that go on in membership selection. From where I stand, ritual isn't just another word for 'secret' or 'private,' it refers to a specific set of very important ideas and actions, of which voting (and whatever malicious and judgemental things may or may not go on during MS) are not a part.

That may be true for your org, but you can't speak for all orgs.

33girl · #12 05-15-2007, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

That may be true for your org, but you can't speak for all orgs.

Agreed...some groups may do ritualistic things when voting, some may not. I have no way to know as I've never been in anyone's but my own, so if someone says it's ritual I'll take them at their word. The same goes for chapter meetings - some groups include ritual aspects at them, some do not.

UGAalum94 · #13 05-15-2007, 06:39 PM

Well, even if you are in the "it's not ritual" camp, it's still supposed to be private to the point of not being discussed, right?

I'm not picking on Leslie Anne; I just mean that no matter what you call it, I don't think any NPC groups have open discussions about MS.