Conduct Becoming of A Sorority Girl

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

1. You might need to either read more slowly or review reading comprehension skills. I did not say a) that my campus is a utopia b) that no one judges c) that no one gossip d) anything whatsoever about strippers.
2. Your arguement was that it was vital that your girls not drink on the dance floor because that is bad image. And then you say that you have a slut in the sorority and a possible druggie. Now...you tell ME if that makes sense? Petty "ettiquette" over the big issues?
3. If you think things like smoking with uncrossed legs, eating while walking, or drinking on the dance floor will so damage your sisterhood that the entire campus will think you are bad girls...again, look at what you've already said. I can't fathom the incredibly stupid herd that would shun a chapter because a sister ate a hot dog while walking but would completely ignore a slut or a druggie. If that's where people's priorities are...I don't think you're getting your money's worth.
4. As I had said earlier, there are things that are deemed immoral by the majority of society including, for instance, sleeping around a lot, being a consistent sloppy drunk, doing drugs, or most importantly just being a mean person. Every organization must have rules to function. My point was that they are in my opinion extremely nit picky in your case and seem to TOTALLY miss the point if, as you say, it's ok to do nothing about sluts/druggies but not to hold a drink when not sitting.
5. I'm actually supremely unconcerened about how I look in this particular arguement. See number one before telling me I make myself look silly in an arguement. Revise. Then try to make me feel silly.

You win a tank cat!



EDIT:

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

I believe you.

What the hell is your problem? Do you have an owl stuck up there somewhere that makes you continue to pick on 33girl? Tell us, I'm truly agog.

[AOII Angel]

Well Squirrel...I'm really touched by your concern for my reading comprehension, though, I'm sure after my 26 years of schooling that my education level is a bit higher than yours. If you'd actually look back at my posts you may see the error in your reading skills. Since you like numbers, I will number my examples.

1. I simply gave an example of general rules adopted by each group on my campus. I gave reasons why they may have been adopted...etiquette and all. I never said that a ban on eating while walking was a rule of any group on my campus....you are confused by later posts by other members. I also never said that doing any of the prohibited things makes you a bad person, gets you kicked out or any other retribution other than being politely reminded of the rules. I never said it was "vital" that no one drink on the dance floor. My only point was....rules are rules. Follow your chapter rules...if you don't like them, change them. Sisters who just choose to consistently break chapter rules willy nilly (whether these silly rules or bigger ones that I'm sure your chapter would recognize) are not good sisters any more than a "born again Christian who blows off all her duties and continually hurts other sisters by her lack of support." (As quoted from 33girl's post.)

2. I certainly did not generalize that every one of your school's sorority members where sluts or crackheads. I actually said that you may have openly risky behavior on your campus that is not frowned upon, but at many campuses, especially small ones, this type of activity will kill your chapter's reputation. Is that necessarily right? Maybe not, but people do judge and judge frequently!

3. I brought up that we had people in my chapter who slept around and experimented with drugs. It's a common occurence on most college campuses. My point was that my "nit picky" chapter didn't run around expelling or ostracizing members for making adult decisions that we didn't agree with. The common denominator was that despite the choices they made, they kept it their own private business. I knew about some of these things only because I was close friends with some of these girls, not because it was common knowledge. Sure secrets are only secrets when kept to yourself, but sisterhood means you can occasionally share your bad decisions with someone else. As for the broken jaw...we had no proof that it had to do with drugs....it was a rumor. She wasn't expelled because if she was doing drugs, she didn't flaunt it. For all I know the broken jaw was a tragic accident. Sisters close to her had a conversation with her about the rumors. No other incidents occured in the future involving this sister.

4. Image is important. Image is not more important than sisterhood. But, it is completely ridiculous to say that your school's chapters don't worry about image. You worry about image when you dress up for badge day, when you prepare for rush, etc. It doesn't have to be an evil word. At no point did I say that any chapter at my former school cared about image over the sisterhood in the chapter. My point is valid....bad image and reputation is generally the reason behind most chapter closures. I personally get sad to hear about any chapter closing...what a horrible experience for those sisters. Usually, though, their image was made for them by someone who was long gone by the time the chapter reaped the consequences of their sister's actions.

5. Generalizing makes you sound silly. That was my point. Jumping to conclusions about an entire campus because of a set of rules with which you don't agree is a disservice to other greek women. And by the way, you do make it sound like your campus is above the usual foibles of human nature. I don't buy it!

6. I don't disagree with all of your statements. "I'd like to think that people take their vows to remain sisters as seriously as their vows to behave themselves. For instance, if a girl is repeatedly getting drunk at frat houses and doing things she shouldn't, is it ok to just kick her out, no questions asked? In my opinion, no. It's everyone else's duty as sisters to attempt to help her; volunteer to go with her to AA meetings, volunteer to be a go between with parents if they are difficult, volunteer to keep an eye on her at parties, that sort of thing. If she is given a second chance and refuses ALL help from EVERYONE who offers it, then I think her membership should be called into question. I take sisterhood very seriously...on the other hand I'm also aware that as college students we all have very limited resources when attempting to help others." (quoted from your post.) I completely agree with this statement.

[JWithers]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

jwithers,

honeychile is indeed a real person, who was raised properly by her southern mama. she is genteel and gracious-the epitome of a southern lady, even if she was raised in Pittsburgh.

for instance, she would never tell a fellow gcer, especially one relatively new to the forum, how crass and ridiculous her post was. that would be too, too tacky for words.

Ahhhh Pittsburgh. That might account for the affected syntax with which she posts. It is offensive to real Southerners and well, just 'icky'. No one I know speaks that way unless they are auditioning for an antebellum role in a movie.

And as for St. Cecilia's....yes, my mother was rather ridiculous in her ideas of proper behavior, but she was also St. Cecilia's 1952. She stuck to her guns, but Lord have mercy, she was from another era.

Thanks for the clarification. It helps me to understand a great deal more. It is still horrifically affected, but, I imagine, in imitation of her mother and not in mockery of the South.

Tacky is as tacky does. And posing is always tackier than exposing said poseur. Call me tacky but I am not pretending to Southern aristocracy. I am the real thing, sugar.

Glad to know honeychile is innocent in her affectedness.

[SWTXBelle]

Some people just don't get it.

[SWTXBelle]

To quote Miss Manners (Judith Martin) -

Miss Manners is constantly besieged by people who want to know the tactful manner of pointing out their friends' and relatives' inferiorities. . . The answer is that they cannot, certainly not politely. . . Even if it be proven that the mistakes of others come from gross ignorance or from maliciousness, it is not the place of anyone except God, their mothers or Miss Manners to bring this to their attention. As dear Erasmus said, "It is part of the highest civility if, while never erring yourself, you ignore the errors of others."

ETA - unless, of course, you are on standards . . . (!!)

[Laak 315]

What is this post even about? lol. All I got so far is that Southern sorority girls have manners...While I am not from the South (Oklahoma), I have to agree that Southern women seem to have more manners (and class) than a lot of women I have met from other areas of the United States. That's not to say women from other areas don't have manners or class...but my views just reflect my personal encounters...

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by Laak 315

What is this post even about? lol. All I got so far is that Southern sorority girls have manners...While I am not from the South (Oklahoma), I have to agree that Southern women seem to have more manners (and class) than a lot of women I have met from other areas of the United States. That's not to say women from other areas don't have manners or class...but my views just reflect my personal encounters...

I've found the emphasis on manners and etiquette to be OTT. I have much bigger things to worry about than passing the salt and pepper shakers together at the table, crossing my legs properly (here's a clue-it doesn't matter where you cross them, you'll still wind up with medical issues if you continue to do it everytime you sit!), eating while sitting down and drinking out of a glass only.
I'd rather spend my life knowing I tried to help those less fortunate than me than worry about writing out thank you cards and being a gracious hostess. Knowing the right fork to use will not help the rampant poverty on the African continent.

[Laak 315]

eh, manners relate to your upbringing, but I kind of agree...however I wouldn't like to be thought of as a slob by any means...

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

5. Generalizing makes you sound silly. That was my point. Jumping to conclusions about an entire campus because of a set of rules with which you don't agree is a disservice to other greek women. And by the way, you do make it sound like your campus is above the usual foibles of human nature. I don't buy it!

Back at ya darlin'.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by Laak 315

eh, manners relate to your upbringing, but I kind of agree...however I wouldn't like to be thought of as a slob by any means...

Yeah but if you cross your legs on the wrong side or drink out of a can you aren't necessarily a slob. Just seems like, as centaur said, there are definitely more important things to be worried about.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by OTW

I am so proud to call you my sister.

You win at the internets for this.

GC: 1
AOII Angel: 0

Yay for winning at internetz!

Tankkitty, beteedub, is awesome.

[Laak 315]

That's true. I certainly don't think manners, graciousness, etc... are the most important things in the world. Actually, in regards to fraternity/sorority, I feel that manners should take a back-seat to philanthropy and social welfare...I just feel like manners help promote ideals of certain fraternities/sororities that they wish to convey...

[cheerfulgreek]

I cross my legs all the time when I sit. How is this going to cause a medical issue?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by Laak 315

That's true. I certainly don't think manners, graciousness, etc... are the most important things in the world. Actually, in regards to fraternity/sorority, I feel that manners should take a back-seat to philanthropy and social welfare...I just feel like manners help promote ideals of certain fraternities/sororities that they wish to convey...

Well yeah, common decency manners. Like it's really not very kind to burp in some stranger's face, yell obscenities down Main Street, throw up on someone at the bar...etc., all of which I've seen done before. Saying please and thank you (and in the south yes m'am and no ma'am...if you don't people WILL think you're rude), or making polite conversation, sending thank you notes, being respectful in general, that sort of thing...anyone should do all of that. I think there's manners that any decent and polite member of the population should have...and then there's ridiculous manners.

[Laak 315]

like drinking tea with your pinky stuck out?

careful how you answer that lol j/k