Legacy - Page 3

deeznutz · #31 05-10-2007, 10:29 AM

Simply,
Legacy may gain you a "place" but, it doesnt mean that you will cross for that particular organization.

Drolefille · #32 05-10-2007, 01:13 PM

Vote on him last?
Make sure the guy's in trouble when it comes to voting so he doesn't get to attend the meeting?

honeychile · #33 05-10-2007, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahanne

I'm a Phi Mu legacy, my Grandmother was a Phi Mu at Penn State, and played a major part in chartering the chapter on my campus. My Aunt, her daughter, was a charter member of this chapter, and my other aunt was also a member of this chapter.

Wow! My maid of honor's grandmother was a PSU Phi Mu founder! I've lost track of her, or I'd ask her what her grandmother's name was. Her mother was also in the same chapter.

When it came to in house legacies, we always asked the biological sister to step out during the voting of her PNM sister. It only seemed fair to judge the PNM on her own merits. I do want to stipulate that this is CHAPTER policy, not Alpha Delta Pi International policy (although I think it would be a good one!).

BlueNYC2 · #34 05-10-2007, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg

One of my chapter sisters was a descendant of a founder of another sorority and pretty much everyone in her family was part of that same sorority. I don't know that I could have pledged elsewhere if I was in her shoes, but I am glad she did!

why not??? you got to do what YOU want to do, not what ya family wants you to do. i never understood why people feel the need to want to pledge/join a particular GLO just cuz they have a number of relatives that did.

but then again, i'm the first greek in my fam...
thats just my $19.14 on this matter...

FSUZeta · #35 05-10-2007, 03:50 PM

wow joe!! i am sorry that your chapter has to deal with that family!! they sound like a piece of work. perhaps it might be time to pull that guys pin-if your fraternity allows such a thing.

CZAXOTerp · #36 05-10-2007, 04:22 PM

When I was a sophmore & had just moved into my house, a 5th year senior's younger sister came thru rush. The sister hadn't yet determined if she was going to remain active or go alum, but as a 5th yr senior she didn't have to come to rush, so she wasn't there to rush her sister.

Her younger sister comes thru the house tour and sees a picture from a dated party of me w/ my ex-bf and points at me in the pic and says, I have friends in XYZ fraternity (same chapter as my ex-BF) and they say czAXOterp is a b!tch- or something to that effect.

The legacy was released that evening, only person who questioned it was an advisor- several of the 5th year senior's pledge sisters said czAXOterp is here, living in the house, 5th yr. sr. sister isn't here, rude legacy doesn't belong here either.

I don't know if this legacy thought she had it in the bag or what, but she was completely out of line.

Also I admit I probably broke the ex-bf's heart...

bejazd · #37 05-10-2007, 05:14 PM

Okay, calling out someone in the chapter as a b..... qualifies as having three heads and a tail! Note to PNMs...when you're at a rush party, if you can't someting nice, don't say nothin' at all.

Her sister would have showed up for rush if she cared whether or not she got a bid.

fantASTic · #38 05-10-2007, 08:20 PM

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

honeychile · #39 05-10-2007, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

No, but nor should she be strung along until Pref.

KSUViolet06 · #40 05-10-2007, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

No. I think she should be extended the cortesies that HQ says that she should get as a legacy. Past that point, if she just doesn't click, then she should be released as early as possible to avoid leading her on.

ErinIsBadNews · #41 05-10-2007, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

My old roomate is someone I've always really admired. Both of her sisters were members of another sorority on campus. We got into a discussion about legacies one night. Basically what she asked me if I thought it was fair to give a girl a bid into a house where she does not fit? If there is another house where this girl would actually fit in and she joins our sorority is that fair to the girl? I don't think I'd want to be in a place where I had nothing in common with the girls, except the fact my mother/sister/grandmother is their sister. No one knows more about a chapter than the girls who belong to it, if the PNM doesn't click with anyone who rushed her, I don't think giving her a bid is fair to the legacy or the PNM who would've been a great fit.

AlexMack · #42 05-10-2007, 11:25 PM

We had biological sisters in my chapter. The elder had already gone alum when I pledged, but she came back and participated in my class' initiation. A good friend and also an alum chapter sister of mine cannot stand the younger of the sisters. I never had a problem with her though. I think being a legacy is most likely a much bigger deal in the south (as it is with all aspects of greek life) so that could put a lot of pressure on a PNM.
If I had a daughter, I'd like her to go Sigma Kappa but ultimately I want her to be happy. (I'd be secretly pleased if she went AXiD as well because my sister-in-law is an AXiD). Why bother pledging a sorority that's not right for you just because your mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin and cousin's female dog went DEF?

33girl · #43 05-11-2007, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErinIsBadNews

My old roomate is someone I've always really admired. Both of her sisters were members of another sorority on campus. We got into a discussion about legacies one night. Basically what she asked me if I thought it was fair to give a girl a bid into a house where she does not fit? If there is another house where this girl would actually fit in and she joins our sorority is that fair to the girl? I don't think I'd want to be in a place where I had nothing in common with the girls, except the fact my mother/sister/grandmother is their sister. No one knows more about a chapter than the girls who belong to it, if the PNM doesn't click with anyone who rushed her, I don't think giving her a bid is fair to the legacy or the PNM who would've been a great fit.

You would hope the rushee herself would come to that conclusion, but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. Not to mention the problem some people have mentioned of legacies getting cut by other groups because they have to cut someone and they assume the rushee with the ABC mom, sister and grandma will go ABC, even if she's been hideously uncomfortable there. This would be one time where it would be really nice if you could see what is happening at the other groups' parties. (well, one of many, LOL)

bejazd · #44 05-11-2007, 10:38 AM

Huge difference between a legacy whose mom/sis went to Cucumonga State and was an AB whenever...and when the PNM's sister is right there, active in the chapter, right now. I didn't click with everyone in the chapter all the time, but I could find something positive about each person and make an effort to be sisterly....with just about anyone just for the sake of world peace (or chapter peace, as it might be.) Couldn't you?

Does anyone think that maybe the title "legacy" should only apply after you pledge (for example, being initiated first among your class, or having the special privilege of wearing a relative's badge) vs. before you become a new member? Maybe if we did that, families would back off the pressure and celebrate the individual's choice...and chapters wouldn't be in such an awkward position.

ISUKappa · #45 05-11-2007, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Assuming the PNM doesn't act inappropriately or have an impossible older sister or something bad, as was said, do you feel that they should be given a bid even if you wouldnt necessarily think they 'click' with your sorority? Just because they're a legacy, I mean.

It depends on what you mean by "click." If the PNM is more quiet and shy in an alreday stressful formal recruitment environment, it may come off as she doesn't "click" but might actually be a wonderful member.

I think there is a balance between honoring legacies and their connection to the organization and finding the right "fit" for the chapter that requires input from both the actives and guidance from an alumna advisor.

It has been my experience that many chapter members are quick to disregard the legacy connection in favor of women who they feel are more "fun." It has also been my experience that those "fun" women often (though not always) tend to be the ones who are *not* active, contributing members and usually end up resiging membership after two years because they don't want to put in the effort anymore.

Big personalities may be fun to talk to during recruitment, but they are not always fun to live with, especially when you have 50+ women with big personalities living in a chapter facility. When I was a chapter adviser, I always stressed to the members the importance of having a wide array of personalities in the chapter and not to discount those PNMs who are a little more quiet or reserved. You need the quiet, supporting girls just as much (if not moreso) as the loud, outspoken ones.

BUT, if the legacy is blatantly not a good fit, the chapter should not feel obligated to invite her back past the required party. The feelings of the legacy connection (sister, mother, grandmother, etc..) also need to be taken into consideration. Not that they need an explanation per se, but I always told the members "imagine this girl is *your* sister or daughter, how would you feel?" Not that it always necessarily helped, but I hope it at least made them think a bit more about the decision.