Life's short, get a divorce

[susan314]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

My theory is that it is a matter of living in a society with more choices.

I think divorce is more common now because both parties in a marriage are more likely to have the education and opportunities to find a better life if they are not getting what they want/need/deserve out of marriage.

By the same token though, I think that we live in a more selfish society today than we did back then. People are far more concerned about "what's in it for them" than they were years ago. (About everything - not specifically marriage/divorce. I'm certainly not saying that people who get divorced are selfish!) You really could put a positive or a negative spin on that, but I don't think anyone would dispute the notion that in today's society people are more concerned about immediate gratification.

Back then, people were more likely to start and finish their career with one employer. (People were more loyal to their employers, and employers were more loyal to them.) Back then, people were more likely to save money and pay cash for a major purchase. (As opposed to getting in over their heads in credit, for the immediate gratification of the material good.) Back then, people were more likely to begin their careers and marriages in a community near their extended family. (Moving and living in new cities is exciting, of course...not trying to say that's a "bad" thing. It just creates complications in the marital relationship that weren't as big of an issue back then - time/expense involved in traveling to visit families, possible feelings of isolation, etc.)

I could go on, but I'm tired. To sum it up, society has changed in a myriad of ways since then, and a lot of those seemingly unrelated things may have had more influence on marriage/divorce things than we even realize.

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

o.k. I understand that, but why now? It wasn't like this 50 years ago. Was the counseling better then?

Oh my God - are you serious?

It's not that the counseling was better - the sanctions were worse! (both applied by society and family, not to mention the law)

Divorce should probably be even more common than it is right now - people shouldn't stay in unhappy marriages. In the past, they did. It's not rocket science.

ETA: EE-BO's point on choice is spot-on

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Oh my God - are you serious?

It's not that the counseling was better - the sanctions were worse! (both applied by society and family, not to mention the law)

Divorce should probably be even more common than it is right now - people shouldn't stay in unhappy marriages. In the past, they did. It's not rocket science.

ETA: EE-BO's point on choice is spot-on

I disagree. back then people believed in working things out. That was a "we" "us" generation. Today it's about "I" or "me". You might be right about the counseling being better now, but the values were much better back then.

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

Oh my God - are you serious?

It's not that the counseling was better - the sanctions were worse! (both applied by society and family, not to mention the law)

Divorce should probably be even more common than it is right now - people shouldn't stay in unhappy marriages. In the past, they did. It's not rocket science.

ETA: EE-BO's point on choice is spot-on

absolutely correct... the ramifications of divorce back when were much worse than they are today (religious, societal, familial, legal). Plus, if a couple were to divorce and had children, then a whole host of issues comes up-- who will care for them? Obviously, the mother would have the time, but the father was the one who made the money. In these cases, it just made more sense for a couple to stay together for the children. Today, both parents work (in a lot of cases), so monetary support and time are really moot points. In addition, the advent of the "no-fault" divorce hiked up the numbers because people could get out of marriages without a "fault" or reason.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Kevin

No one really knows -- but I'll bet we'll spend another few million dollars this year paying universities to do research on the subject!

Any investment to lessen the ultimate burden of ill-conceived divorce is fine by me.

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

1) Britney Spears
2) Fundamentalists who get married at 18 so they can engage in some God-sanctioned boning
3) People who get married more than once are much more likely to end up in divorce in subsequent marriages
4) Lack of adequate pre-marital counseling

CO. SIGN.

I think you've about covered 90% of American divorces...

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Then why is the divorce rate so high?

it's not really that high, it is just reported as that way.

that 50% stat people spew is way off, they used too small of a sample, and only followed people that got married that year. That doesn't mean that 50% marriages ended in divorse, only half an already small sample

[ZeroCool]

They took the sign down citing zoning reasons, whatever that means. The ad is a little tasteless, especially to those getting divorced for more legitimate reasons, rather than that they just want to marry someone hotter!