Conduct Becoming of A Sorority Girl

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Apparently that would be fantASTic, Geeky Penguin, and myself. Perhaps some others as well.

We don't need your stamp of approval on what's discussed.

Again, to some people, maybe, but others use it to describe themselves. It depends on the campus culture.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Again, to some people, maybe, but others use it to describe themselves. It depends on the campus culture.

You know, I've heard that before but for the life of me I can't understand how calling anyone a "God Damned anything" couldn't be considered offensive.

Maybe some people describe themselves that way but that doesn't mean that it's okay for Greeks to do it. No one in my chapter used the term. It was considered a lowly form of communicating. The word "independent" works just fine.

[James]

We could call them, The Alphabetically Challenged . . . TAC for short.

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

You know, I've heard that before but for the life of me I can't understand how calling anyone a "God Damned anything" couldn't be considered offensive.

Maybe some people describe themselves that way but that doesn't mean that it's okay for Greeks to do it. No one in my chapter used the term. It was considered a lowly form of communicating. The word "independent" works just fine.

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by James

We could call them, The Alphabetically Challenged . . . TAC for short.

I've always found that calling people by their first names tends to work pretty well.

[CZAXOTerp]

I find this all very interesting- it's funny while I was in school there was girl who was in Playboy (ended up being a playmate) who was in the chapter to one side of me, the chapter on the other side, had a member who "danced" at a gentlemen's club in Washington, DC.
Another chapter had a member who had a child- and the kid was in bid day pictures and I believe wore letters- it was somewhat scandalous- definitely was shocking to my 18 year old brain at the point (10 + yrs ago)- and I definitely thought that being an unwed mother was not your typical sorority girl behavior.

After I graduated a one of the sisters of my chapter got pregnant & gave the baby up for adoption. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her- they basically disowned her. My chapter took care of her, advisors gave her maternity clothes etc. she lived in the house during her pregnancy and was very involved w/ PH. I remember thinking it was bizarre and really not
an "ideal" situation, but then I thought about how she was surrounded by women who cared for her, had people watching out for her, making sure she ate well, etc. and I know now it all worked out...

but honestly when I think "sorority girl" do I think lamaze class? NO.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

You know, I've heard that before but for the life of me I can't understand how calling anyone a "God Damned anything" couldn't be considered offensive.

Maybe some people describe themselves that way but that doesn't mean that it's okay for Greeks to do it. No one in my chapter used the term. It was considered a lowly form of communicating. The word "independent" works just fine.

Or gee, I dunno "Gosh Darned?" That's the first phrase that comes to my mind.
(And I'll bet you anything the GD in GDI came from the Is themselves.)

This isn't a racial or ethnic slur with social context where it's ok for people to self-identify but not ok for the majority to use the same term. It's a silly little phrase that isn't really a big deal. No one is condeming anyone to hell by using it. I'm so glad your chapter was above such a lowly form of communicating. That's so totally impressive. On your campus that was "normal." That is why I said "it depends on the campus culture."

[cuteASAbug]

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

I find this all very interesting- it's funny while I was in school there was girl who was in Playboy (ended up being a playmate) who was in the chapter to one side of me, the chapter on the other side, had a member who "danced" at a gentlemen's club in Washington, DC.
Another chapter had a member who had a child- and the kid was in bid day pictures and I believe wore letters- it was somewhat scandalous- definitely was shocking to my 18 year old brain at the point (10 + yrs ago)- and I definitely thought that being an unwed mother was not your typical sorority girl behavior.

After I graduated a one of the sisters of my chapter got pregnant & gave the baby up for adoption. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her- they basically disowned her. My chapter took care of her, advisors gave her maternity clothes etc. she lived in the house during her pregnancy and was very involved w/ PH. I remember thinking it was bizarre and really not
an "ideal" situation, but then I thought about how she was surrounded by women who cared for her, had people watching out for her, making sure she ate well, etc. and I know now it all worked out...

but honestly when I think "sorority girl" do I think lamaze class? NO.

I've seen pictures on myspace where a girl from one of our chapters has a baby and the daughter wears little ASA shirts and comes to recruitment.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

I've seen pictures on myspace where a girl from one of our chapters has a baby and the daughter wears little ASA shirts and comes to recruitment.

Reeeealllllyyyy......

To each their own, I suppose.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Or gee, I dunno "Gosh Darned?" That's the first phrase that comes to my mind.

"Gosh Darned"? Are you serious? Who these days uses the term "gosh darned"? Do you go to school in Mayberry?

Originally Posted by Drolefille

(And I'll bet you anything the GD in GDI came from the Is themselves.)

Well, since you can only bet and I could only bet, it's a moot point.

I just think it's hypocritical. I see all the moaning about bad images of Greeks on this message board, yet people don't even think about their own behavior. (I'm not directing that at you, Drolefille. It's just in general.)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

At my campus each chapter had very restrictive rules for sisters whether or not they were in letters. No dancing with a drink in your hand. No smoking in public. No visiting frat houses after 2am. Some may think this is ridiculous. These women are adults and should be allowed to do as they please. BUT, these women also chose to be members of organizations with standards.

Do these women know when they accept their bids that they'll be forced to possibly alter their behavior as a condition of membership? I mean, groups and rushees are told not to talk about drinking or smoking or boys at rush, how could they know they'll have to conduct themselves in a certain manner regarding these things? Do you tell them that during rush or on bid night?

And as for all these girls who are apart of (actually, the proper grammar would we "apart from") a sorority, I don't understand how anything they do would matter since they're not members.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Reeeealllllyyyy......

To each their own, I suppose.

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

Would you kick your biological sister out of your house if she got pregnant? If not, then why would you do it to your sorority sister?

[susan314]

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

After I graduated a one of the sisters of my chapter got pregnant & gave the baby up for adoption. Her parents wanted nothing to do with her- they basically disowned her. My chapter took care of her, advisors gave her maternity clothes etc. she lived in the house during her pregnancy and was very involved w/ PH. I remember thinking it was bizarre and really not
an "ideal" situation, but then I thought about how she was surrounded by women who cared for her, had people watching out for her, making sure she ate well, etc. and I know now it all worked out...

As you said, that's probably not the ideal situation. (Ideally, her parents would have stood by her. ) But how wonderful that the chapter rallied around her and provided her with the support she needed.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by 33girl

We've got a lot of chapters at small schools with untraditional populations. To ignore that fact and/or not embrace it there would hinder our recruitment abilities.

Would you kick your biological sister out of your house if she got pregnant? If not, then why would you do it to your sorority sister?

I don't think the big surprise (for me, anyow) is so much that the sisters still stand by her, as the fact that the baby was at recruitment events. I have kids, but I definitely wouldn't take them to recruitment. (There are kid-friendly events, and then events that are not so suited for kids. IMO, of course.)

Though I am semi-surprised that a young woman with a baby would remain an active undergraduate member of the chapter. (Only because of the time and financial commitment involved in undergraduate sorority life - seems like it might conflict with child-rearing and school obligations.) Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the sister should be kicked out either! I'm just thinking that - if it were allowable according to the terms of that group - it seems like that would be an appropriate circumstance to allow someone to take alumnae status early. She would remain a sister, be able to participate in events, yet not have the mandatory event or dues obligations that come with being an undergraduate member.

I can't even imagine trying to make all the chapter meetings, pay my dues, etc. while also raising/financially supporting a child and attending/paying for school. Yikes! I'm not suggesting the early alumnae status thing as a way to "hide" or "shame" a sister who happened to get pregnant while in school - rather as a way to possibly make her life a little easier.

[CZAXOTerp]

Originally Posted by susan314

As you said, that's probably not the ideal situation. (Ideally, her parents would have stood by her. ) But how wonderful that the chapter rallied around her and provided her with the support she needed.

Actually ideally the unplanned pregnancy would have been prevented...

It was wonderful that the chapter supported her when her family wouldn't and the greek system as a whole was v. supportive as well.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

Actually ideally the unplanned pregnancy would have been prevented...

Well, yes...I suppose you're right. Perhaps I should re-state my orignal post to read that the second-ideal situation would have been for her biological family to stand by her, with the ultimate ideal situation to be that she didn't have to go through the situation at all.

(Though I suspect that the adoptive family is grateful that things happened the way they did...)