Good Hair Bad Hair????

[nonchalant]

"Talkin bout good and bad hair. Whether you're dark or you're fair. Go 'head and swear. See if I care. Good and bad hair."

[ziasha07]

Originally Posted by nonchalant

"Talkin bout good and bad hair. Whether you're dark or you're fair. Go 'head and swear. See if I care. Good and bad hair."

I was thinking about that scene the entire time I was reading this thread.

[IncontRHOllable]

What I really was trying to focus on was not Imus but why is it that black folk have a problem with nappy hair. For example, many black people who knew me before I went natural have asked me " why in the world did you mess up your hair like that?" Mess up? What's so messed up about natural hair? Or the classic, " Girl I could never wear my hair natural" and why is that? Another example is that once I started wearing my natural hair, I got more WHITE men trying to get with me than black men and I have heard this from several other natural sistas who say that their black boyfriends/ husbands had a problem with them going natural. Why is that? Why are we allowing one group of people to dictate to us what is beautiful and what isn't?

[christiangirl]

Hmmm....this thread looked interesting so I thought I'd stop in

That's a heavy question. Personally, I wouldn't wear my hair "naturally" because it seems a lot harder to deal with (I put the quotations there b/c IMO, the only way it's not natural is if it's not growin' out my head ). I'm seriously style-challenged when it comes to hair. I know how to flat iron it and curl it and that's about it. My friends with natural hair tell me they have to get creative with the styling and I'm just not talented enough in the hair department for all that. But I can do a mean ponytail! Plus, I'm tender-headed. It hurts enough to comb tangles out of my hair, but to comb it while it's "natural"..... I just couldn't do it. But, you know, I've always been told by my mother not to go around looking "nappy" like it was indecent. I've had chemicals in my hair since I was either 7 or 9, I'm not sure. My girlfriends will be quick to tell me when I need a touch up. I guess there are just cultural norms that flow in and out. At one point, you were lame if your clothes matched. Matching was just the proper and normal thing to do, then one day, it wasn't anymore. Maybe there's gonna come a day where women reject Motions and Mizani. Until then...everyone wants to fit in and that's not gonna change. *shrug*

[ziasha07]

There is definetly a stigma against "nappy" hair in our community. I've had a relaxer since I was two years old. (*Just For Meee...*) New growth in my family is forbidden! My mother has been trying to give my 5 year old neice a relaxer since she was 3 but her mother refuses.

I guess I'm like CG. I wouldn't know what to do with it except probably get a low cut or something. I'm just proud that I have hair that "touches my sleeve" (stole that phrase from a club DJ) that I didn't have to sew or glue in. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

[Still BLUTANG]

i think "good hair" is a phrase that needs to be erased from our vocabulary. the only way nappy = bad is when straight/wavy = good.

i was natural for about 10 years, then recently i went back to a relaxer. for me, it's just hair. i wasn't a miltant nappy, i was just comfortable enough in my own skin to rock whatever hair style (natural or relaxed) and still be fly.

the only people that had problems or questions about my hair were older people, non-blacks (your hair does that???), and a guy that i USED to talk to. LOL.

when i'm around my friends, they know there are certain words or descriptors that won't ride with me. if someone has straight hair SAY straight hair. it's not "good" or better than mine! just as i won't tolerate n-words and so forth, "good hair" is one of those things that should be avoided.

[MIDWESTDIVA]

I too wish that "we" would remove the term "bad hair" from our vocabulary.

I was shopping in Wal-Mart the other day when a man with starter locks approached me to ask about my locks. During our conversation he tells me that his loctician says that his hair will lock easily because he has a bad grade of hair. Then he goes on to tell me that his niece, who wears her hair naturally has really bad hair, too. That is why he is trying to convince her to lock hers up. I repeated these statements back to him, hoping that he would realize how stupid they were. No such luck. He nodded in agreement. Then I had to get really elementary on his behind, and explained why "bad hair" is terminology he should never use.

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

the only way nappy = bad is when straight/wavy = good.

This is basically the reason that I gave. Then he asks me what he should call it. Why not just call it hair? I refer to my hair as nappy; so do most of my friends with natural hair. But I would not advise this guy to do that. I'm sure the word nappy has a negative connotation when he uses it.


To address the original post, I think the term nappy is considered derogatory because of social conditioning.

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by ziasha07

There is definetly a stigma against "nappy" hair in our community. I've had a relaxer since I was two years old. (*Just For Meee...*) New growth in my family is forbidden! My mother has been trying to give my 5 year old neice a relaxer since she was 3 but her mother refuses.

I guess I'm like CG. I wouldn't know what to do with it except probably get a low cut or something. I'm just proud that I have hair that "touches my sleeve" (stole that phrase from a club DJ) that I didn't have to sew or glue in. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Thank you for responding. You can tell that this is a touchy subject. You are so right that their is a stigma within our own community against nappy hair. I thought that this topic would allow some people to reflect on the reasons of why and give those of us who have not responded to such a topic a chance to respond.

[PrettyBoy]

To me, it just seems like this problem is mainly with the women not so much with the men.

[christiangirl]

Hmmmm.....I debated on not telling on myself, but I think that this is something that needs to be said.

I was in the school cafe today and saw my friend's friend, who wears her hair "natural". But today, it looked a little rough, like she hadn't combed it at all. And the first thing I thought was, "That's not cute, she looks a little nappy." :eek. As soon as I thought it, I caught myself and tried to figure out why on earth I'd say something like that, even in my head. And I came up with.....nothing. I honestly can't think of a single reason why I thought that other than it's engrained in me to feel negatively toward that word. While her hair was "nappy," that wasn't really the problem--the style itself looked bad. It was very unkempt (if that's a word) as thought she'd just rolled out of bed. But why I chose the word "nappy" to sufficiently describe an ugly hairstyle, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Whether that tendency came from society, culture, family, etc., it's so psychologically engrained that I can't even put my finger on it. And the things that we do without even thinking about it are the habits that are hardest to change.

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Hmmmm.....I debated on not telling on myself, but I think that this is something that needs to be said.

I was in the school cafe today and saw my friend's friend, who wears her hair "natural". But today, it looked a little rough, like she hadn't combed it at all. And the first thing I thought was, "That's not cute, she looks a little nappy." :eek. As soon as I thought it, I caught myself and tried to figure out why on earth I'd say something like that, even in my head. And I came up with.....nothing. I honestly can't think of a single reason why I thought that other than it's engrained in me to feel negatively toward that word. While her hair was "nappy," that wasn't really the problem--the style itself looked bad. It was very unkempt (if that's a word) as thought she'd just rolled out of bed. But why I chose the word "nappy" to sufficiently describe an ugly hairstyle, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Whether that tendency came from society, culture, family, etc., it's so psychologically engrained that I can't even put my finger on it. And the things that we do without even thinking about it are the habits that are hardest to change.

Thanks for sharing this.

[NinjaPoodle]

Hairstyles & Maintenance Tips for my Happily Nappy Sistas --Delta Ave

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...=happily+nappy

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

Hairstyles & Maintenance Tips for my Happily Nappy Sistas --Delta Ave

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...=happily+nappy

SoRHOr you know you are the bomb!! Thanks for this link.

[Luckie1922]

I can only be me...Natural